Sorry joules.
I’m lucky that I dont dream of mum. Just the once and it was very upsetting.
I’m not about to try and explain your dream because I’m a sceptic with all that stuff. I hope you’re ok for the rest of the day.
Cheryl x
It’s not a great start to the day waking up
From a dream like that. I don’t think it means anything. Just my over active imagination bringing up stuff from childhood but then immersing into the present, in my dreams she has always died and I’m always telling her she has died and she never knows that she has. Very weird.
Jooles, That sounds like a traumatic and very emotional dream.
I think my brain is refusing to dream about either of my parents, since the loss of Mum. I’ve had a fleeting glimpse of my Mum in a dream and my brain immediately halted the dream. Likewise, with my Dad a fleeting glimpse and I used to be quite happy dreaming about him.
I would love to have a nice dream with Mum, but I think I am very scared of what might occur in the dream, which is why it is halted by my brain.
It’s all rather sad - to be frightened of dreaming about my mother. How life has changed.
On the plus side it’s a lovely bright day her today.
I dream of her every single night. They are nice dreams. But about once a week they are disturbing. I have always had very vivid dreams so it doesn’t suprise me that I have them. It’s lovely here today too. Where do you live Daffy. You don’t need to tell me though if you are not comfortable
I’m in a rural village about half an hour away from Tunbridge Wells. I used to love dreaming about my Dad, as it felt like i was bringing him back to life.
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Oh I do love a rural village. I’m just outside Newquay. It’s very busy but I’m next to the fields. When the kids are older and have left home I want to live in a little Cornish village in a cottage
I had a lovely dream the other night me and mum were having a cuddle. But then she turned to me and said “I have cancer I died”. They always end up like.
Jooles, You seem to be perhaps processing your loss through your dreams. Or your dreams are helping you perhaps process your loss. Perhaps? x
Yes that’s what I think too. I find it very hard to comprehend that she had cancer and no one knew until two days before she died. And she was so frightened. That comes out in my dreams too as I try really hard not to think about that last few days.
Hi Jooles
In real life, you have expressed that what happened does not add up. In the dream, your mind is struggling to problem solve but it keeps hitting the same obstacle. Everything is fine and then there is an end point that does not fit in. You probably have already done this, but it might help to understand the behavior of what your mom had through reading on it or talking to experts. I do personally know of several people who had the same as your mom. Some cancers grow very slow and some are incredibly fast.
I was having similar issues processing my dad. What he had was electrical - which is acute - happens suddenly. It is something that could have happened then, happened another time, or never happened depending on the combo of circumstances. The dreams in my head that match yours were always elation at him being alive in my dream followed by urgency to get him to a hospital to be watched and ultimately saved - because this is the only way that he could have been saved. I talked to some experts in the field, did a ton of research for months struggling to understand, but ultimately a cardiac arrest survivors website gave the most insight and the dreams of the problem solving nature have subsided. Hopefully that same result will happen for you to give your mind a rest.
Ell
Yes, I do from time to time Kerrance, just after Stan died I dreamt that he had died. I felt such a relief when I woke up that it was only a dream until I put out my hand and realised that I was in our bed alone.
I had a not too nice dream several weeks ago…I was in a warm glowing room, the light was on, dont know where this room was but we were obviously living in it but, my Richard was standing somewhere in front of me to my right at a diagonal to the right of me fully dressed, when I had told, or phoned his longstanding friend, his buddy of 40 years that he had died when all of a sudden he turned up at the front door which was to the left of me., i let him in, Richard was standing, dressed and smiling as if nothing out of the ordinary…his friend made no comment as to what i had said about Richard being dead when indeed he was still very much alive, in fact it was if i had never even told this to him in the first place, his friend walked in approaching Richard, dont know what was said, when all of a sudden fiend walked away in a hurry saying he needs to get back to his wife or his wife was coming to collect him not sure which ( in reality friend could not drive it was always left to his wife )…Then either the next night or the following night i dreamt basically the same only this time no warm nor bright room, no friend turning up, just Richard in the same position, standing to my right, in front of me, slightly at diagonal to my right, slightly turning away to my right, sideways, but this time he was stark naked, and his whole body was black and blue with bruising, it was obvious he was dead, the after death but yet he was standing, breathing and had moved…then thankfully i must have woke up…
Jackie…
I had a not too nice dream several weeks ago…I was in a warm glowing room, the light was on, dont know where this room was but we were obviously living in it but, my Richard was standing somewhere in front of me to my right at a diagonal to the right of me fully dressed, when I had told, or phoned his longstanding friend, his buddy of 40 years that he had died when all of a sudden he turned up at the front door which was to the left of me., i let him in, Richard was standing, dressed and smiling as if nothing out of the ordinary…his friend made no comment as to what i had said about Richard being dead when indeed he was still very much alive, in fact it was if i had never even told this to him in the first place, his friend walked in approaching Richard, dont know what was said but it was friendly, when all of a sudden fiend walked away in a hurry saying he needs to get back to his wife or his wife was coming to collect him not sure which ( in reality friend could not drive it was always left to his wife )…Then either the next night or the following night i dreamt basically the same only this time no warm nor bright room, no friend turning up, just Richard in the same position, standing to my right, in front of me, slightly at diagonal to my right, slightly turning away to my right, sideways, but this time he was stark naked, and his whole body was black and blue with bruising, it was obvious he was dead, the after death but yet he was standing, breathing and had moved…then thankfully i must have woke up…
Jackie…
I had a not too nice dream several weeks ago…I was in a warm glowing room, the light was on, dont know where this room was but we were obviously living in it but, my Richard was standing somewhere in front of me to my right at a diagonal to the right of me fully dressed, when I had told, or phoned his longstanding friend, his buddy of 40 years that he had died when all of a sudden he turned up at the front door which was to the left of me., i let him in, Richard was standing, dressed and smiling as if nothing out of the ordinary…his friend made no comment as to what i had said about Richard being dead when indeed he was still very much alive, in fact it was if i had never even told this to him in the first place, his friend walked in approaching Richard, dont know what was said but it was friendly, when all of a sudden fiend walked away in a hurry saying he needs to get back to his wife or his wife was coming to collect him not sure which ( in reality friend could not drive it was always left to his wife )…Then either the next night or the following night i dreamt basically the same only this time no warm nor bright room, no friend turning up, just Richard in the same position, standing to my right, in front of me, slightly at diagonal to my right, slightly turning away to my right, sideways, but this time he was stark naked, and his whole body was black and blue covered with bruising, he looked so cold, it was obvious he was dead, the after death but yet he was standing, breathing and had moved…then thankfully i must have woke up…
Jackie…
Thank you Ell. I do love your posts they are fascinating. And make such sense. I will message you later with my signs I’ve had from mum.
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Oh Jackie that’s so distressing I’ve had dreams of mum dead like that.
Dear Jonathan,
your’s is such a sad post, it has really moved me. I do believe that you are the most unselfish person I have ever met.
Here you are comforting the rest of us and you are grieving so badly.
Thank you for your kindness and compassion.
Thanks Mary for your kind words. After 14 months the pain does ease, a bit. I didn’t realise how long it would take to even diminish a little. It does get better, but so so slowly. But strangely time seems to fly past and it seems only yesterday it happened. I am so glad I found this site. So many friends on here and sharing is indeed helpful. It may not take away the pain entirely, but it takes the edge off it which is good.
I like to think of us all as being a band of brothers/sisters/sons/ daughters who are brought together by the most awful experience any of us would want, but there is a comradeship on these pages that I have found helps so much
Bless you Mary. Take care. XX
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Thank you, Jonathan, I appreciate your message.
Hi there John, I can so relate to what you say. 14 months for me also and days do fly by and I can confirm that it does get better or at least different. I am doing things now that I couldn’t have coped with a year ago. I am keeping busy, I am learning to like my own company and I make sure I look after myself.
The friends on the forum are a big help and as you say the sharing does help.
In the early months I had many dreams about Brian and just knew by the nature of the dreams that he was making contact but now he is faded into the background when I have a dream that he is in. Is he telling me to cope on my own, that he can’t support me forever. Since he has seemed to walk away I must admit that I am starting to socialise a bit more often. Not always my thing but I am making the effort at least.
Take care
Pat xxx
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Hi Jonathan
Thank you for your kind message.
I see Mum regularly in my dreams and often she is in the house.
Soon after her passing I recall one night I had just gone to bed and I heard her
call my name from downstairs. Since then I’ve had numerous dreams.
In one dream I saw Mum’s siblings who had passed away before her.
It was a strange dream because they were all in my bedroom looking at me.
It was like a black and white photograph.
Some of Mum’s siblings passed away in the 1950’s and 1960’s but they were all
appearing together.
In the house I have seen flashes of light after dark, strange sounds that cannot be explained.
I wonder where Mum is and whether she is communicating with me.
I’m waiting patiently to see her whilst I’m awake.
I do feel quite lost without my Mum.
We watched films together and listened to the same music.
We went shopping together.
On many occasions whilst shopping up and down the store aisles, items have just flown off
of shelves.
I think this might be Mum sending me signs that she is present.
When I go out I take Mum’s photograph with me and believe that she is accompanying
me.
I saw Mum at her funeral but it didn’t look exactly like her.
She appeared to be resting but her spirit was not there.
If Mum was there she would have spoken to me.
Mum has gone somewhere, I just don’t know where.
In another dream Mum stated clearly to me
“Sonny, I have not died.”
She’s not the first person to say this.
A year and a half prior to Mum’s passing, my neighbour, an older lady
had passed away.
I saw my neighbour in a dream looking well and in good health. She too said
“Sonny, I didn’t die.”
I think it’s the spirit that stays alive and when people pass away they become
another form.