Dear @Homeform and all
“Rather do nothing with her than something without her”
That is so beautifully put.
I constantly tell everyone I know still in a couple to
“Enjoy and embrace the mundane. Because they are the most special times, and the ones missed the most”
It’s become my mantra.
19 months and 1 week for me today.
No idea how that happened 
Love, hugs and strength to you all
I really do feel your pain. I was lying in bed yesterday thinking Kev would be downstairs now preparing dinner for our family (he always prepared a roast). It’s heartbreaking. Although the dinner went ahead as planned it’s not the same is it? Loneliness, pain inside. Also today I woke with a really heavy cold and feel so unwell. No one to look after me, make me a hot drink, ask me if I’m ok. Watch tv in bed with me, comfort me. All that’s been taken away from me, from all of us. Everything now has to be on our own, decisions, decisions. I can’t even decide what to eat. I wish everyone well for the future we now have to make alone (yes I’m sure most of us have family, friends but ultimately it’s alone or that’s how I feel). Xx
Yeh i agree doing everything alone ! Its crap innit :(;and im same - find it hard to make decisions without him !! Xx
I could cope with it all if I knew I would see him again, that’s the part I cannot handle 
I’m starting to forget what his voice sounds like. I have to play a video to remember it. I am so unsettled, nothing brings me any real contentment, let alone any joy. It’s like a gaping wound that doesn’t heal no matter what you do.
I was in Nero’s today having a coffee and ciggie outside in the sun and watching people chatting to each other and I felt like a shadow of the old me
I’m also forgetting what his voice sounded like. I managed to listen to one his band’s CDs today, just so I could hear him playing drums. Killed me.
Have you not got any recordings of his voice ? aw poor you. We took a video of my husband on last family and i played all time especially in those early days - dont any of his friends have any videos of him … if he was in a band ? X
My friends and family have kept their distance since my husband passed on 13th march, im feeling so alone and lost without him he was my best friend and partner. 
No, he wasn’t a vocalist. I do have videos of him on my phone but not his voice.
Thats what they do ! Awful isnt it really ? At a time when you need people the most they seem to disappear …you know that expression : laugh and the whole world laughs with you , cry and you cry alone …so true isnt it ? Xx
Aw … thats a shame 
xx
Hi LynT
Love the image of a few days ago
Simple but so true ………
I have no voice recordings of Paul’s voice
But saved his voicemail recording…… that’s all I’ve got ( saved 5 times incase I lose it!)
I just feel each hour each day I’m getting further away from him 24/7/22 where has the time gone in one respect in another a total eternity
I absolutely hate this existence
The word ‘alone’ just doesn’t cut the horrible feeling I have in my heart
I am so alone ( we all feel the same)
I so feel different …… so alone so isolated ……
lol
Xx
PS
And so so empty
Xx
I am so very sorry … 
That’s a brilliant sentence . Rather do nothing with him than something without him Still true after 4 Years on my own . Extra holiday times are hard even if spent with family . Love to all who are feeling the same 
Hi Susan 71
Yes that sentence says it all again so true
Deb5 …… ‘surviving ‘ thank you
Like all of us here in the same boat … surviving just!
How are you?
Xx
Surviving too … just about … feeling sad this morning … miss him in the mornings … not seeing him next to me … i dunno its a right life isnt it ? .xx
It’s bloody awful Deb5
But we haven’t got a choice have we?
Xx
No we dont have a choice and i think thats what makes ot so hard … wheres the way out ? Most things in life are solvable but this one isnt ;( we have to try flipping carry on with our broken hearts dont we and hope life gets better ? What else can we do ? Xx
You are so right Deb5 nearly everything is solvable or another way out
With us definitely no way out
Xx