Hi @Bess1 I have been reading yours and everyone’s posts and agree with what you have all said about being solvable. Yes we can solve most things but this is something that can’t be solved. It’s just two years for me and still struggling especially thinking I will never see my husband again. It breaks my heart on a daily basis.x
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People see me as a ‘big strong man’ and i used to think nothing in the world really scares me , i have always been the one to sort any problems we had out , could solve anything .
Well this little 5 foot dwarf ( as she used to call herself ) has completely broken me , can hardly get out of bed in the morning and burst into tears randomly many , many times each day . Just feel so helpless as there’s nothing I can do to fix this and bring her back
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Hi yes I know the feeling lost mum a year ago on the 24th march she loved Easter daffodils and every where I see them I think of her didn’t know what to do with myself over the break no motivation mum was the last of my family and now I’m on my own no one remembered or called me tried to think positively Christmas was the same feeling redundant and lonely your not alone with those feelings my fath gets me through and greaf councilng group keep strong xx
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Hi Lobbyyloo2 Dino 13 and welcome back Redrose infact Hi to everyone
We all feel the same but individually isolated hurt and totally broken
2years for me on 24/7/22 remember the days /weeks months the many many appointments as if it was yesterday
Have photos of Paul and he and I all over
Just cannot believe / accept / or get it in my head I’ll never see / speak to him again
He’ll never ring me my protection has gone
I’m on my own end of and I hate every single minute of it
I know he’d be saying ‘come on you can do this’
Can I ?
Will I ?
Do I want to ??
We’ve all lost our soulmates of years and years and years
My heart is utterly broken my tears yes daily many many times are so real and never ending
Love to all hurting and yes it’s bloody painful
Xx
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Hi @Dino13 @Bess1 and @Redrose people say don’t look to the future just take a day at a time. Well those days are long and lonely and I feel for us all. I also struggle to get out of bed each day as I have no purpose. I don’t like having to depend on others now (even though I have to at times) my husband was like you Dino he could sort anything out. I miss him so much like we all miss our special person. I don’t think I will ever get used to him not being around. Sometimes it’s like he is still in hospital and will be home soon. At present I have no joy in my life. If that will come back I don’t know? I hope at some point (for all of us) that we can find some joy again.x
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Yeh some days you cant believe theyre not here can you ? All those years together and theyre just gone 
like that ! So damn unfair it is … we just have to hope we find some joy in life dont we ? What else can we do but i do know that it is very tough all of this ! I think best thing to do is just cry to get our pain out really … love to you all in this crap life and keep hoping its gonna get better one day xx
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I keep asking myself what I did to deserve this shit life I have been dealt with. I also feel I should mark my forehead with an X, unclean, plague, as people would rather avoid you than dare confront the elephant in the room, I feel like shouting yes my husband is dead but I’m still here! I could do with a hug, some TLC, talk about him, why are people so cold? There for the grace of god go I…it could be you next and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy!
Sorry for my rant just sick of people and their attitude towards the bereaved…
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Some folk just don’t know what to say . Some just don’t want to think about it and can’t face it!
We don’t talk enough generally about dying as tho it will go away if we ignore it! Sadly until people are touched by it themselves they can seem to find the empathy to care for others .
Thankfully everyone isn’t like that . We just have to find the ones who are kind to us and give us the gift of time . Hope you find those people as thankfully I have 
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I know , what did we do so bad to deserve this ? Remember the good times people say , yes of course I remember the good times that’s why I loved her so much , yes I know I’m so lucky to have experienced 24 years of such love when many don’t ever experience it , doesn’t help with this indescribable pain I’m in now though does it 
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Yet our prisons are full of murderers, rapists, pedo’s thugs, the lot and they are still here! Doesn’t make sense does it?
It’s hard to be positive in the horrible world we live in. Bereavement is on the bottom of the list for any help or support. Ignorance is bliss as until it happens to you nobody wants to know.
I seriously don’t believe there is much joy in this world anyway, so god only knows where we are all going to find any. Our joy was taken from us…sending all of you a big hug 
x
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I totally agree ! People are really horrible arent they and its as if you have got the bloody plague and that losing your husband might somehow be infectious !!! At beginning of all this i used to avoid seeing people near here cos i was so fed up with their questions, looks of pity ! Its just awful ! We are still human u know !! That friend i told you about was the only person i knew who treated as if i was still a human being and i will always remember that !! But then he was a nurse so supposed he used to sad stories … plus hes had a tough time himself recently people who had a tough time know what its like xx
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Yep those sort of people are like gold dust aren’t they ? And we must keep them in our lives xx
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@Deb5
He sounds like a nice guy, I would definitely ask him if he fancied a coffee or lunch…what’s the worse that can happen? He says no…well in the scheme of losing a husband I think you could cope with a no but there could also be an opportunity to develop a stronger friendship. Go for it, ask him
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He is such a nice guy and im thinking of doing just that next time i see him 
we keep discussing coffee cos he likes coffee he says … lol … so close but so far !! Maybe if i say it really fast … lol … xx
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It sounds like he is waiting for you to take the lead 
…he may be worried if he asks you that you might think he is coming on too strong because you are grieving…life is too short to be wondering and I think the onus is on you
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Go for it Deb5 as said he can only say no……
Folks are very hurtful and yes I to feel as if I have a cross on my head
Folks we would’ve called friends aren’t bothering anymore
I got a text from such friend I haven’t seen her since Christmas with
Time flies……
I just think
One day mate you’ll be in the same situation and you’ll find out what a shit time you are going to have……
Don’t mean to rant or be mean but I’m really down just a phone call how you doing would help us all wouldn’t it
Suppose they are getting on with life
And
We aren’t as our soulmate isn’t here……
bloody cruel
Xx
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Yeh i will say it really fast then … lol … i did say to him - when he said he doesnt like people - that i hope you like me ? Think that was brave of me ! When i see him we spend about 30/40 minutes talking you know - everytime !! Yes i will say if you ever want a coffee let me know ! Just gotta see him again now and i will … as you can say he can only say no … oops … i hope not !! Be embarrassing if he did !! Lol xx
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I cant belirve how people have shown their self centred side tbh !! Really damn terrible ! Not a good reflection of human nature at all !! Xxx
I hope you all feel better today. An outing will do you good a meet up for lunch or coffee with those who want to. Just a thought
Welcome Lungo 28….
Yes we all need a pick me up however small
Still very disappointing and hurtful when friends aren’t ‘friends’ anymore
Got to think it’s their loss
Xx
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