Yeh its funny when youre there for other people and then when you got a problem they seem to disappear dont they … some people arent really very nice at all are they ? And as you said before you certainly find out who your friends are dont you at a time like this… xx
I know to well how you feel
I wasnt well over easter nobody checked up on me.apart from my daughter
Never have i felt so lonely
Phone never rings
My husband would be so annoyed at how ive been abandoned by everyone
The very ones who said they would be there for me
Please take care 
3 Likes
Oh i know its really terrible how people just disappear isnt it 
try make friends if you can cos it does help you get through. New ones if necessary. I must say that a lot of my old friendships arent really there anymore - ive made new friendships … people who understand more what its like for us now . Take care of yourself xx
1 Like
I think it’s healthy to make new friends, who didnt know the old you. They can help you to move forward.
2 Likes
I seemed to have shut myself off and no up and go in me
But making new friends is on my to do list maybe do me good
1 Like
Hi @Ali21 I know how you feel. People not there for you. I know my husband would be the same about people not being there when you need them. I asked a relative of my husband if they could do something for me. They said they would but that was in January and they still haven’t been. I understand people have their own lives but you think they would want to help. Take care.x
3 Likes
I know ive been let down so often
Theses people when a problem arose i was always there. Now ive nobody i come in from work to no phone calls no chap at the door just me and my daughter. Although she works alot as a carer i know she doesn’t like what has happened to us.
But one day i will sell and move somewhere else and start again
Take care
1 Like
Hi All
Fully agree with you all …… same here
You certainly find out who your friends are that’s for sure
It’s a very lonely ‘alone’ isolated life….
One day these ‘friends’ will realise what it like
And yes they are just getting on with life
Unlike us our life has been utterly snatched away
Love to all this long Saturday ( mind all the days are long aren’t they?)
lol
Xx
2 Likes
I know what you mean. You do shut yourself off from the world … i did the same … but gradually you will let people in … xx
Yeh im same … gonna sell up eventually and start again … i think might be best thing to do … i will take my darling with me forever in my heart … always he will be there but for now i have a few lovely friends that i need to get me through but when time is right and im strong enough i will move. I want to go live by the sea . It was our dream and i know my dog would love it too ! X
2 Likes
Sorry to hear about your toothache but that’s nothing compared to losing your loved one we always took the caravan away for Easter she is not here now so no point in going sold the van i am now just alone with lots of memories mostly good god bless
1 Like
Hi Rocky 49a
We also had a caravan the a motorhome
Loved it just get ready and go
So miss the trips away mostly winter Paul farming in the summer
Always wanted to go abroad it was on our bucket list……
So miss it…. Yes memories but I wanted more
Not to be
Xx
1 Like
That’s so sad. I suspect they will be thinking I don’t know what to say…
That’s a selfish get out of jail card for not making contact. They are only thinking of their own embarrassment which compared to our pain is nothing
Thinking of you x
1 Like
Hi Homeform
Yes for about a year I thought that could be the reason now I’m not so generous
These so called friends know I am struggling ( my counsellor said never say your fine when your not so I don’t I say I’m finding it hard or it’s difficult)
So they know how I’m feeling…… have they been in touch …… a text no……
Well they m afraid to say I have a good memory
Sorry not in a generous mood
Xx
1 Like
Don’t blame you at all. I’ve had a couple of friends that haven’t hit the minimum despite knowing them for years. The rest have been excellent thankfully.
As you say that’s when the memory kicks in. I’m not keeping a spreadsheet of who does what but there is a minimum level you hope friends will hit. They are the ones I wouldn’t miss if I didn’t see them again. Xx
1 Like
Hi Homeform
Thank you you are so right
We all have good memories don’t we?
I thankfully have 2 friends who are looking out for me not constantly but you know what I mean
The rest …… well say no more
It’s a lonely road we are on and I hate it
Folks think by now I should be dare I say getting ‘better’
I just cannot comprehend going places without Paul to share experiences with having a laugh
Am I in the minority here?
I know I will have to maybe one day and Paul would be the first to encourage me but it’s so so hard without him……
Take care
Xx
2 Likes
No idea with those sorts of comments as though it’s a lightbulb and one just gets over it. I suspect we may learn to manage it and that’s as good as it will be.
Also comments about moving on? I don’t want to move on. We have to move forward as time does that anyway so we have no choice but moving on makes it sound like we are leaving them behind. And memories just remind me of her not being here. As you say a lonely road xx
1 Like
I think what we are aiming for is to live a life without them
I don’t want to and you cannot buy a new life in a supermarket
Our lives were with our other halves
Everything we all did revolved around and with them and vice versa
Paul didn’t make many comments about the future
The biggest was ‘we’ve got a plan ( treatment) and we’ll get through it
Also just once he said it’s worse for folks left cos I won’t be here
Never a true word spoken
I know it’s not rocket science but I never ever in my wildest dreams did I think it’d be like this
Mind I never thought about the future believing Paul was right
Maybe my brain just didn’t want to comprehend the alternative…….
Xx
2 Likes
I like that , I’m not moving on from my wife , I’m moving forward for the kids as I don’t have a choice .
No youre not in the minority at all - we all move at different rates … i was just like that only last year , hated every second without him … its a flipping minefield all this is one way or the other so just do it when and how you feel best. As they say - baby steps xx