Well I’m so hurt by this I had to get some perspective. My son has called me an Emotional Vampire, since I been grieving my partner who died on the 16th of January 2023 .
For anyone who doesn’t know this term , like me ( I looked it up ) essentially I’m someone who over- dramatises things to get attention. Maybe uses my own problems to get attention for myself and basically an attention seeker who eggagerates life’s problems , to get sympathy from others.
Would anyone else be really hurt to be called something like this at the absolute lowest point in their life ? I’m shocked .
My poor partner literally just died without warning now my son of all people wants to use his death as a stick to beat me with . Surely it’s not wrong to want a bit of compassion during a period of bereavement. ?
@Burgled my life is so empty, probably like you feel too . I never thought of being in this situation as draining for others . I have really tried so hard to deal with my feelings myself. Ultimately I suppose we are on our own with this aren’t we ?
Thank you for your reply xxx
I’m sorry for the hurt that your quite rightly feeling, some men have difficulty dealing with other people’s emotions, could it be deep down he can’t handle other people’s upset?
If that is the case that’s his problem not yours, he will lose someone close to him one day and then he’ll understand that you needed support.
Might be worth not expecting support from him & put on a false brave face when he’s around, it’s not right that you should have to do this but if you don’t he’s going to get frustrated & say hurtful things.
Sometimes es the people that are closest to us let us down, we forgive but some of the closeness previously enjoyed goes.
@Ladysuisei6
If i was grieving and somebody had the audacity to call Me an ‘emotional’ or ‘energy vampire’, I would be f***ing livid. Son or no son, how dare he!! The level of emotional intelligence he displays is quite frankly, on a par with a goat!!! He should realise, if he has any sense at all, that your partner was a huge part of your life and as such you will grieve for as long as necessary. Should he not like it, then there is the door, open it for him!! Do not be manipulated or controlled into believing something that you are not!!
Love and light to you,
David. Xxxx
What on earth?! How can you even get the idea to call someone who’s grieving such a thing? There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with wanting compassion! Please don’t believe that. What - is - wrong is them trying to lay that burden on you. Sending hugs.
@Flower_garden you are right saying that the love remains but the closeness gone . I’m very hurt , but aware that I now need to keep this to myself. It’s a shame that close family can’t handle their emotions when it comes to death . I have no choice in the matter . He’s fortunate, as by dishing out a cruel remark , he’s able to distance himself without consequences. I didn’t really say a lot to him about this just incase he’s struggling.
I just hope others in here are not suffering in silence , because sharing grief is the quickest way to heal I believe . He’s 30 and my partner was his step dad for over 20 years .
Take care xxx
@David67 Thank you you’ve expressed that really well . Being totally serious here now , I’m wondering whether this death has exposed maybe a personality disorder or similar. His reaction and responses haven’t been normal . I’d love to show him the door right now because I’m hurting very badly. I don’t want a knee jerk reaction to take over though ( mine I mean ). Otherwise I’ll be as bad as him . At the moment his wife is going through a difficult pregnancy but that is absolutely no mitigation whatsoever. I’m glad that people seem to think this behaviour is odd , thank you xxx
@Ulma thank you . The comment upset me so much that in a way I did question whether maybe I’d been a bit needy . To say I am disappointed is an understatement. Recently this , plus some other recent cruel behaviours have made me quite unwell. I’ve blamed it on new medication, but maybe there’s a bit of stress and misery thrown in there too .
Sending you lots of love xxx
I’m sure the stress contributes. And I wanted to add that even if you were a bit needy, you had and have every right to be, you’ve lost your partner. Of course you need people around you.
Was your husband your son’s father? Do you think that he could be jealous that you are grieving and not showing him all the attention. Has he got autism as I know that some people with autism or on the spectrum can’t show emotions or empathy. If your son is just being nasty and cruel then I would give him some space as he is definitely making your grief worse for you Xx
Yes I would be terribly hurt by that comment. My reply would be ‘well I really, really do hope that you never find yourself in my position one day, because if you do those words will come back to haunt you’
How can you even get the idea to call someone who’s grieving such a thing? There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with wanting compassion! Please don’t believe that. What - is - wrong is them trying to lay that burden on you. Sending hugs. 
xxx
