I know its awful 
xx
2 Likes
@Ulma well yes I needed people . Sadly my mum died 3 years ago , so she probably would have been my support. My dad’s been good but obviously grieving mum still , he was also deeply affected by the loss of Baz . I naturally thought my son and DIL would be there . Baz was his step dad for 20 years , it doesn’t make sense to me . I just don’t get what’s going on
Sending you love 
5 Likes
@Hazel.1966 you brought up a few interesting points there . Yes my ex husband is Dan’s dad , whereas Baz was his stepdad . I have broached the subject of grieving Baz with my son and he closes down the conversation.
Well I have begun to wonder if Dan has something going on , although I can’t really speculate. I got BPD which can be a challenge to live with , but the characteristics of this are directed towards the self and not others . I worry , for example, if I think I’ve upset someone. He is extremely high achieving academically and has to be always right . He can be very nasty, harbour grudges and cruel . Idk if he could be on the spectrum 
personally I think he needs a slap ( that’s a joke - never smacked him ever !) .
Thank you , and take care xxx
2 Likes
@David67 actually I already have - weeks ago . I’ve watched some things on YouTube about it . I do fear this could be the case 
Given I have BPD , it’s not beyond the realms of possibility. Mind you BPD is all about directing your pain towards the self as opposed to others . It also causes a lot of mental pain .
I’ve suspected NPD on many occasions. I’m just not medically trained and obviously he won’t get a diagnosis
Thank you , we are on the same page here
Take care
2 Likes
@Juniper19 actually I was too gobsmacked to really say anything- combined with the fact I’d never heard that phrase before 
Once I looked it up I was upset though
Thank you and take care
3 Likes
Ladysuise6.its the least I can do. The support I have received from all of you is very much appreciated xx
3 Likes
Yeh im doing ok … thanks 
xxx
4 Likes
Deb5.good to hear this.we are all part of the same family as such xxx
4 Likes
Aw … thanks martyn and very true xx
4 Likes
not at all, we are all here to support one another always
Big hugs x
3 Likes
I’d like to say we all throw things out sometimes that we don’t really mean in anger/upset, though if I said something like that to anyone in any situation I’d struggle to forgive myself, never mind if I knew they were grieving. I did think he was a teenager when I first read your post, but he could have been in his teenage brain at the time.
Try not to take it to heart - you get to decide what & who you are, not him or anyone else, & you’re fine just as you are. Maybe think what you could have said if you hadn’t been so caught off-guard? I suggest putting some new boundaries in place for him, but I know it’s not easy. I’m so sorry for your losses…much love to you Xx
1 Like
@NJay he certainly isn’t a teenager he’s almost 31. That insulting remark was totally uncalled for . I think he’s trying to justify his position of not really wanting much to do with me any more , which is really sad considering the wonderful upbringing me and my partner gave him .
Thank you
5 Likes
Well said 
x
2 Likes
It doesnt seem to make any difference what you do for them @Ladysuisei6 because i was good to my kids and they just dont wanna know since my husband passed away ! Ive worked it out actually … they just wanna bury their head in the sand like an ostrich where as i have no choice but to face the world head on because hes not here for me now and i have to do everything myself and its hard and it hurts … xx
3 Likes
@Deb5
Hope you are ok!! You could serve them up the world and still they would complain about the plate it was served on!! They do bury their heads!! I dont doubt that they miss them, but to them there is no app for feeling like that!! Yes it is hard and yes it does hurt, but i would sooner have that than a half arsed effort from someone!!
Love and light to you,
David.xxxx
2 Likes
Yeh youre right ? Have you got kids ? It dont seen to matter what you do when they get older, its never right is it ? Their behaviour is so much worse without their dad here to keep them in check !!! And youre right there is no app for this - therefore you mustve got it all wrong !! I love that … ha ha xx
2 Likes
@Deb5 well you’re aware of the issues I been having with mine . Today he informed me I won’t be allowed to see my new grandson when he comes in March . I won’t be having a relationship with him . I’m too tired to fight him over this , he’s broken me . All because my behaviour has been strange I suppose whilst grieving. Horrible these kids aren’t they ? Well they are adults xxx😔
3 Likes
@David67 youre spot on - no app for that . We’re talking about adult children in their 30’s . Unbelievable isn’t it
Take care xx
2 Likes