Emptiness

Graham died suddenly 2 weeks ago. I’ve been staying with my son and his wife in London and the funeral is on Monday. From then on I’ll be at home on my own some distance from them in Kent. He was a true rock and I dread the emptiness of the house. Can anyone suggest how I cope in these early days? I’d much appreciate any help you can give x

Hi. Jen. Welcome to the site no one wants to be on. But thank God it’s here. You will find help and support and be among friends who know exactly how you feel. Bereavement is a very individual process. You will grieve in your own way. Emotions will come and, at times, may be overwhelming. Coming home to an empty house is one of the worst experiences. At the moment it’s early days. There is not much anyone can say that will help much, but just a little light in the gloom can help. Look for that light in the distance. It does get brighter, honest it does although for you to believe that at the moment may seem impossible.
Think what your partner would want for you. He has not gone, just gone into the other room and you will eventually find the key. I believe our loved ones stay with us although not in bodily form.
I do hope the funeral is what you want and that you have support.
Can you try and take it one day at a time. Try not to look more than a day ahead at the moment. Take care of yourself, that’s important.
Blessings. And our Blessings and prayers will be with you on Monday.

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Bless you Jonathan. It took courage to look for this support site and I’m so glad I did. I’m not alone. Jen x

Hi Jen it’s going to be hard and strange going home. I don’t know about others but feel closer to my husband who passed in March in our home. After the funeral you are numb our emotions are like a roller coaster. I have Micks photos in most rooms and talk to him. Like everyone on here we have our grief it’s good to talk on here as we all understand what your going through. Chat anytime I do. Please try and take care of yourself I did not at first lost loads of weight couldn’t sleep making me physically ill and then feeling 10 times worst which added more worry to my son and daughter x

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Hi Kim. Thank you so much for your words! I really feel love from you and appreciate it. You will all become my new friends and look forward to more chats. Xxxx

Any time thinking of you all for Monday x

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:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

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Dear Jen, I am truly sorry for your loss. Returning to your home may give you some comfort. Like Kim, I feel closest to my husband when I’m at home. He’s everywhere, in every room, outside, in the garage. Having said that though, I carry him wherever I go. Keep chatting to him Jen, maybe write a journal. Getting my feelings down on paper definitely helps me. You’ll find your own coping strategies but it’s too soon for you yet. As Jonathan has said, don’t look too far ahead, the future will look too bleak at the moment. But there is a future Jen, it’s just different to the one we thought we’d have. Sending love and understanding. xx

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Hi Kate. Its so lovely to hear from you. My pain is so raw at the moment and I know it will get easier. It helps to know there are so many people who share my feelings and that I can get reassurance. Xx

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Hi Jen. I’m so sorry. As you can see people on here have gone through similar. I lost my wife suddenly 3 weeks ago. I think I’m still in shock. She was 53 and misdiagnosed by our GP.
I have found this site helpful and create new topics if it helps. Even through the night as I find putting down what you feel can possibly help. Often I’m in deep grief that spellings are all over the place because I can’t see the keyboard properly due to tears.
The people on do understand and really know what the pain feels like when losing someone.
I will pass on what I keep being told although not always doing.
Look after yourself.

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Jay I’m so sorry you lost your wife at such a young age. Everyone here are so kind and supportive and we have a shared pain. Thank you for your kind words x

Oh hi Jen.So sorry for your loss .I am in the same position as you only a year on.My husband of 40yrs passed away April 2019.I am also 65 with 2 amazing son’s and 4 grandchildren one of which is very new born June 5th. I totally understand how you feel. You go through so many emotions. I’ve never experienced grief like it even when my parents died.I still cry when I talk about him or hear music or see a film we liked.But there us one thing i did do that’s get a rescue cat.Of course i miss my husband terribly but it’s helped a little and coming on here.So many lovely people all in the same position on the same journey. I know it’s early but please try and be strong. We’re all here for you.X

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Bless you. I’m going to get a rescue dog. We had a little Yorkie for 17 years and we planned to get another dog when the restrictions eased. Everyone here is so kind. I’m so glad I found you all. Xx

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A rescue dog whould be great​:+1::dog2:.Don’t forget we’re all in this together?When I’m feeling a bit down I come on here. It helps to off load your emotions. And everyone is so nice.x

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Sorry don’t know where the +1 came from?:confused:

I’m looking to do the same. But because I’m still working it’s making it a little difficult. Can’t take this silence even with the TV on. I’ve probably got at least another 15 years on my own but don’t really want to be on my own that long. Life has been so cruel.

I just want to cuddle something! I’m at my sons house at present and made friends with a local cat . I think he sensed my need! Xx

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Why not. I would get a cat but my girl never liked to own one so if I get one now it feels so wrong. I massively miss a hug, cuddle or a kiss. Brings me to tears thinking about it

Jen, I have a wee Yorkie and after I lost my husband she became my reason for getting out of bed or I probably wouldn’t bother. I think you getting another dog would help you as they are good company and you have to walk them so it gives you the opportunity to chat with others when you are out. 17 is a great age for your Yorkie! One of mine was 19 when he went, Daisy whom I have now is 6 so hopefully I have her for a long time yet.

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Especially with the social distancing rules it’s so difficult to get physical comfort. I haven’t been able to hug my younger son even when he was sobbing at my husband’s hospital bed. Life is so cruel.

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