Well another night of no sleep .The home we once loved now just seems so empty.Was hard when my children moved out but at least we had each other now theres nothing Go out through the day but its the coming back to an empty house that makes me cry before I even get in .Moving wouldnt help I dont think thats just geography. How do you learn to live alone after such a wonderful happy life together It frightens me .
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I agree! Coming back makes it difficult to leave in the first place but I force myself! I’ve never lived on my own before so it’s a whole new world for me. We could be in different rooms in the house but I alway knew he was there. This is a totally different feeling.
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I lost my husband seven months ago, and returning to an empty home doesn’t get any easier. I still call to him as I open the door. I have never lived alone before and find it very difficult, This journey we now have to take is heartbreaking.
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I feel for you all, and I’m in the same position, have never lived on my own before. It’s nearly four months since my partner passed, and I dont feel like I’ll ever adjust to him not being here. If I’ve been out anywhere during the day I always start crying the minute I get into the car to drive home, knowing the loneliness and yearning for him that awaits me there. And yet I’m very grateful for our home and have no plans to move xx
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When my husband passed away nearly 5 months ago I wanted to move from our house as there were just too many reminders in absolutely every thing. It was just so painful!, But he loved this house and we have shared many happy times here. Although I still find it really hard being here without him I think if I moved now I would be leaving part of him behind!
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I too had another fitful nights sleep. At least my knee feels a bit better this morning. I too have never lived alone except when he was away for work. I don’t return to an empty house as I rarely leave it. Neighbour coming over this morning to sign me up for neighbourhood watch. I am ideal. I spend a lot of time sitting watching the world out of my window and can see most coming and goings. Please let today be a better day for all of us. So many of us are up early. Xx. Sandra
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Oh gosh yes!
Luckily I have friends who invite me out, I look forward to it. Great!, some company, I can get out of the house. When I am out I cannot fully immerse myself, I feel a core of sadness throughout me, I am worried about talking to my friends about my loss, I feel I am putting a dampener on their evening, although when I do talk of it, they are very supportive and I often get hugs.
I don’t want them to see me and think, oh gosh, here he is, he’s sad, he lost his beautiful one, just warning you, the conversation might be a bit sad.
I look to come home and then ‘Oh god’, 'I am going home to an empty house tonight, and that sets me off, all the way home, and then we are expected to sleep!
I have to have the radio on low in the background during the day, otherwise the silence is deafening.
She loved gardening, it’s quite a big garden, she tended to it. I work (supposedly, struggling just now), I am not a gardener and some plants have died already and I feel bad, but I am trying to look after it as best I can, as she would want me to.
So yes, loneliness and an empty house are something we have to come to terms with, I feel for us all, we shall endure, somehow, to be present for our loved ones.
I don’t know if I can afford to stay in our home, our mortgage goes up in October, so I may have to move, but I am not thinking about that too much, just thinking about getting through today at the moment.
Sending love to you all
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Morning Sandra, so sorry you didn’t sleep well again. I didn’t get to sleep until after 3am and feel good for nothing this morning. Glad I have an appointment with my hairdresser later, he’s always cheery. xxx
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Morning Rosemary. I always used to sleep so well. I am sorry you didn’t sleep either. I always feel better having had my hair done. My hairdresser and chiropodist come to me. Hope the day gets better. Xx
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I know exactly what you mean and how do we learn to live alone ? Ive no idea ! I just know its hell compared to what i had !!! Its true that saying isnt it ? " you dont know what you had until its gone " !!! My only saving grace is my puppy. I love her so much and she looks after me and follows me everywhere ! Shes so good ! And one of the best things i did since i lost my husband !!! Xx
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I honestly cannot see me ever getting used to living by myself. After seven months it’s no easier, You are right @Deb5, it’s hell after living with our partners, we never wanted the bright life, just being together and enjoying our simple but wonderful life as we wished it to be.
I have just been to the hairdressers and had a little cry in the salon as my hair looked so nice, and my husband wouldn’t be at home to see it. He always called me to show what I had had done, They know me well at the salon and were so nice and understanding. I cried all the way home. What sort of life is this?
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I know … im 8 months in and its so hard isnt it ! This bloody solitary life ! How can you even begin to explain to people how much you loved being with them ? And they been taken away from us without any flipping choice ! Its such a bloody hard life i know that much and my neighbours do chat to me but inside i miss him so much ! Its hard when its just you ! All the pressure is on me !! Nobody to share it with and nobody understood me better than my little man ! God bless you my forever missed man !!! I dunno how im gonna survive this life without you 
xx
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I tell my husband every day that I hate my life without him, he was my everything. We talked and discussed things all the time. Now, I just talk to myself and him, hoping he can hear me. My neighbours are fine but nobody makes the difference.
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Like you and many others on this forum I’ve had a bad few days,I spent five and a half hours driving down from my sisters place near Berwick knowing that when I opened the door it would be hell,and it was,and still is. Crying so hard that this morning I was shaking and thinking it could be a heart attack,the pain in the throat and chest is terrible,unbearable.
The main reason for my reply is that my wife usually had her hair appointment on a Thursday,I would drop her off then pick her up and off we went to the golf club for lunch.I always made a comment even if it was to say they had cut too much off,she had beautiful natural honey blond hair but as years passed she started having a bit of colouring done,then the cancer started and she bought two hair pieces so we never went again.
Just now it’s pain everywhere I look,I’m not sure I can cope with a life like this to be honest,everything we wanted and needed,worked hard for now means nothing,just nothing.
So many of us here seem to be going through a melt down at the same time,if I could fix it for all of us then I would.
Take care and I do hope that your hair looks nice.
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@miker, I’m so sorry that you have lost your dear wife and are suffering so badly. It really is heartbreaking to feel as we all do with no way out of it. The last seven months of pain for me is really indescribable. I have a brother and good friends but most of my family live in the US and further afield from me in the UK. Thank goodness for FaceTime.
Returning home to an empty apartment without his usual welcome is very hard. Like you, it brings on the tears.
Thursdays must be very sad for you, remember your wife’s hairdressing and your golf club visit. Your wife’s hair sounds beautiful. Mine looks nice today but nobody to see it. My husband was wonderful at giving me compliments even when he was really poorly.
I miss and love him more every day,
Take care and always remember love never dies and memories are precious.
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My husband loved my red hair. He had a thing for red heads. Even at 71 it is still red without colouring. He would always point out the new white showing when it was cut. The house is so empty without him. It really brings it home to all of us on our own. Xx
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Your are lucky Sandra, if I didn’t have my hair coloured, it would be white!
Just thinking about food, not very interested this evening, home alone with no one to share it with is basically ‘rubbish’. It used to be so enjoyable.
We have been robbed of life’s riches with our partners. I will never get over it.
Sending hugs, Rosemary x
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I was going to have the second half of the tortellini I had yesterday but just don’t fancy it so it will probably be an aunt Bessie toad in the hole. Must get something out to defrost for tomorrow.
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Hi All
Anything alone is just hell and rubbish
Hate it
Love to all
Xx
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I feel the same each day feels like a week the loneliness is unbearable, i wake up some mornings and just for a second i think she’s still here and then it hits me it’s eighteen weeks now but it feels like yesterday,how long does this pain last
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