Morning @Mark0675
I hope it goes well at work when you go back . I don’t work I am retired.
Could you not have done a phased return back to work .
It’s hard when we get sympathy from people. We hope your collages will be very supportive of you .
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It will be a difficult time for sure, and your colleagues will only have your best interest. Hopefully after an awkward hour of uncertainty it’ll be business as usual and your day will pass quite smoothly. Yes the hardest part is coming back to empty house and meal time are the worse, youve just got to do what ever it takes to manage that. Ive changed my entire diet as certain food triggered my husband, I now eat at a different time. I take a different commute home. I want to make these small things about me. We all have our coping mechanism.
Please be kind to yourself, if work becomes too overwhelming then ask to leave early Im sure your company will understand and support you. Do your best, having some familiarity back in your day might be just what you need at this tragic time. Take care x
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Hi @Yorkieblueeyes
I have changed the day I do my shopping go to a different supermarket. And my meals at a different time . And certain foods as I don’t eat any more.
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Thank you Sherbet10, I spoke to one of my managers yesterday and told him I won’t know how I’ll be till I try, he has mentioned a phase return so I’m not expected to work a full shift or all week, it’s the sympathy from colleagues I’m not looking forward to even though it’s with good intentions.
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That’s good @Mark0675
I hope it goes well for you
Generally people don’t really know how to approach us are what to day to us .
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I think the first hour or 2 will be the hardest which I’m dreading the most and hopefully it will settle down after that, I’ll ask to leave early if it gets too much for me and walking in to an empty house is going to be difficult, I’m looking forward to that at all but it’s something I had to do while I e been off sick, all I can do is try and I hope getting back into some sort of routine will help.
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Meant to say not looking forward to being in an empty house.
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I find that quite a good way to cope, changing certain things I used to always do with my husband. I never want to forget him or us but I also dont want want to carry the burden.
Certain routines are easier to manage if there not always a trigger.
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I’m understand and feel the same .
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Hi. I’m so sorry for all your losses. The loss of your husband being so recent as well. We have all suffered great loss on this site but some people like yourself are blighted by loss and compound grief. Do you have any friends who can help you in any way? Sometimes just being able able to text someone can help you feel less alone. I lost my partner suddenly last year and that is bad enough.
I don’t know if you would consider seeing a counsellor in a few months, sometimes it can help with coping strategies. Other people on here have said that attending widows clubs/groups to be helpful. I wish I could offer you more support and comfort but unfortunately grief stays around for a long time. Take care
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Thank you for kind support. Bereavement Counciling is something I have given a great deal of thought to. I think its definitely the way forward, I appreciate they can’t wave magic wand and make my past go away however they probably help me to move forward with the grieving process. You take care x
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I am so sorry for your loss,especially since you have nobody to turn to.It must be terrible being so alone.I lost my wife nearly five months ago and it broke my heart,we had been married 63 years and my life means nothing without her. I was in the army for a long time so all my friends were in the military ,so I after I left I have no close friends now but I am lucky I have to daughters who keep me compony when they can but they have their own families to care for so I can’t expect too much of them.My only friend was my wife and she is gone now so I now how you feel. Like me all you can do is live with your memories and hopefully in time your pain will get easier.
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Thank you for taking time out from your own loss to pass on your condolences. What a beautiful life you and wife must have shared, and made so many fantastic memories, I hope you can draw on those when you are feeling low. I’m pleased you have your daughters to fall back on granted they have there own life’s but they will be still feeling the loss also.If you get an opportunity to spend time with your family don’t put it off and embrace every second. Time is precious now. Take care 
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My first shift at work went better than I expected, I did have to take some deep breaths to hold back the tears and the people I worked with were really good as well, coming home to an empty house hit me hard and I ended up sobbing on the sofa for a while.
My second shift was alright but emotionally it was tough, at one point I had to take time out and the tears started flowing again, I did feel a bit beyond I was told I could go home if I needed to, I managed to work the full shift but again I cried when I got home, I usually work 4 shifts per week but for now 2 is enough, I’ll see how I am before I consider doing any more, I’m proud of myself in a way, if only I could hold back the tears but I don’t think I’ll be able to do that any time soon.
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Hi @Mark0675
It is never easy going back to work
Be proud of yourself you got there , you did your shifts .
I don’t think any of us will ever get used to the empty house feeling.
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Mark, thats a massive achievement you definitely should be proud of yourself even getting out of bed is huge thing in the early stages of grief.
Never hold back on the tears and never hold back on letting people know how you are feeling.
The worst is the empty house and choosing food. Only 3 months after loosing my husband I had to move house which I think is helping a bit because the house is just me, and my diet as changed as certain foods were a real trigger. Im obviously not suggesting you move, but maybe certain habits you always did has a couple you might alter just to help you cope.
Keep going keep sharing and we can all support each other through this torrid time.
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My heart goes out to you it’s all too much in a short space of time
Sending hugs 
Chrissy
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Thank you. Its been very traumatic and I’m just taking it day by day and thats all I can do for now.
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I was nervous going back with it being 2 months but I think that was due to worrying about what people might say, even though I did cry while I was there I’m glad I stayed instead of giving in and going home early.
I have thought about moving back to my home town but the house prices are too much for me on my own and at the moment I’m finding it too upsetting to move any of my wife’s belongings, she left a pair of sandles on the dining room floor and I can’t move them because it’s where she left them, just the thought of moving them is upsetting.
The support I’ve received on here has been great so I’ll definitely keep sharing how I feel and I can’t thank everyone enough, it has really helped me due to everyone being on the same journey and understanding what we are all going through.
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Night @Mark0675
There is no rush to do anything with clothes are personal belongings. You will know when the time is right .
I am just over 1 year in on the journey
I am in the middle of sorting some books out .
Keep posting, I hope your day tomorrow is better for you .
Hope you get some sleep tonight
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