When the time to make any decision is right for you thats when you do, and only then. Grieving doesn’t have a time limit its all on your terms. Take it day by day thats what most of us do to get by.
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Thank you Sherbet10, I’ve still got the sympathy cards on my fireplace, I can’t decide if I should leave them or put them away.
I will do and I hope you have a good night as well.
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I’m finding it difficult to make some decisions and not sure when is the best time, I try my best but I guess that’s all any of us can do, last weekend was really tough but I think the thought of going back to work was the cause of it.
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It would have been a huge strain going back to work, just dont put yourself under any extra pressure, just do whats right for you to be able to handle your personal situation, its early days and your emotions will be all over the place. No two days will be the same.
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I did surprise myself working 2 full shifts even though it was difficult at times, I was given the option of what I wanted to do so that helped but my emotions are all over the place, I can be fine but then my mood can suddenly drop and that’s when I end up crying, it’s happening 3+ times a day at the moment, it’s always worse when I’m at home on my own.
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We’re all more resilient then we realise, and its ok to give into your emotions and take time out. You need to heal. Everything you have overcome since your loss is a massive achievement.
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@Yorkieblueeyes Hi Yorkie! I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation, it is very similar to mine, and many of us here. How to keep on, alone. I look around the house and all I see are pictures of dead folk I once loved, and who once loved me.
The losses came at you fast and furious, no wonder you’re struggling! I’m glad you’ve found us, I have found this forum a great help. When you’ve no one to tell your day to, tell it here.
So many folks are supportive, and it is very helpful to see, you are not alone in your grief and trying to find new purpose 
Cindy
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My sister has said she’s surprised how strong I am but I don’t feel that way, especially with the amount of times I cry each day, seeing things in the kitchen cupboards my wife bought like cereal and sauces can trigger my emotions, even when I use the air fryer I just stand there sobbing, I’ve lost count how many times it’s happened.
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Thank you Cindy.
Its been really supportive reading lovely comments and encouragement from others in the same situation. My journey as been truly horrific as most people’s. I think now where heading into the darker nights it’ll become tougher to navigate, I am trying to stay focused, I’ve a few things to look forward to and try to keep going. Been on my own for the first time ever as been a struggle but slowly Im coming to terms with it. This might be my destiny now, I hope not but who ever knows whats around the corner.
I hope you can also take positives from this group and on those difficult days pull strength from your personal memories. Take care x
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Mark, just let it happen its the grieving process theres going to be triggers and what you’ve been through is definitely not normal. Everyday will through up its own challenges but you will also see minor achievements strength and resilience are amazing at get us through each day.
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I’ve had a lot triggering my emotions over the last few days that’s lead to tears and yesterday felt the worst, we used to go on holiday late September and I’ve had all of the reminders of it, just being at home keeps throwing challenges at me.
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Unfortunately there will be lots of trigger days, events, special occasion b/day and then the dreaded Xmas. which you will have to face. Those are the low days for sure. Its never going to be easy, just let the emotions flow and you will get to the otherside.
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It would have been our 14th wedding anniversary next month so that’s going to be a hard day to get through and xmas is going to be worse, we bought things we wanted during the year but still had presents we opened together on xmas morning, if it wasn’t for my cats I probably wouldn’t get out of bed that day, I doubt I’ll be invited anywhere, the lack of support I’ve had has shown me that so it’s going to be really painful being on my own.
@Yorkieblueeyes Absolutely, take positives from this group, we are in varying stages of grief, some days better than others, but we try to encourage each other.
Being alone is a struggle. I have been for nine years, but I had Ron, he called twice a day and we met and had good times every few months. We lived apart, but were married in our hearts. He died in May. So, now real aloneness awaits, and maybe is my fate forever, or as you mentioned " my destiny", What ever is in store, take care of yourself and find joy in the world. We must live our lives, as we find them. Wishing you peace and strength Cindy
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I spent last Christmas, my 1st Christmas completely on my own.
Ist without my mum or husband. They both passed last year.
But I found it easier than being around others. I could be just how I wanted to be. It wasn’t too bad. It is just a day I kept saying to myself, which it is really!
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This year xmas falls on my days off work so I’m just going to think of it as a normal day off, if I did get an invite somewhere it wouldn’t feel right with my wife not being there, we always got invited out together.
Staying at home is probably the better option even though I’ve been told I shouldn’t be on my own but these are some of the people that haven’t been in touch for 5 weeks since my wife’s funeral.
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It is hard when friends disappear. If only they knew how cutting it is but it is out your hands, unless you feel and want to contact them.
Christmas is a few months away. Judge nearer the time what you feel up to doing! I know you say you may not get invites but if you do maybe say possibly, leave it open, if they are agreeable. I decided to be on my own for the whole of it and like I say I coped, and I’ve never been on my own ever in my whole 62yrs of my life let alone Christmas!
Get through your anniversary first. One step at a time.
X
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Our anniversary is on a work day so I’m going to concentrate on that, even though I’ll visit her grave that morning it’s something I’ve been doing every morning.
I’ll wait and see if I’m invited anywhere, like you said it’s months away at the moment, it rarely happened when my wife was still here, it’s why I doubt I’ll be asked to join anyone.
Don’t put a lot of emphasis on any of it, it will eat you up. I find the build up to it is awful so avoid as much as I can,. The actual day will come and go. It’s along way off as youve said.
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The biggest problem I have to face is the run up to xmas, I work in retail so there’s no easy way to avoid it, at least there’s halloween before it all starts.
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