Thank you ……
Xx:+1:
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Been a while since I posted on here. It’s been just over 3 years since I lost Tony and I’m still riding this bloody rollercoaster of grief. It’s made me feel better to read what you all have to say about others continually telling us to ‘ move on’ and ‘you’ll meet someone else’. I’m not replacing a blooming 3 piece suite. How can you replace the love of your life? I think my friends feel I’m just being a bit of a martyr by saying I’ll never have another husband or partner. But I genuinely don’t want that. I still love my husband deeply and I’m still ‘married’ but saying these things make others feel better and providing it’s said without malice I just shrug it off. They have no idea how it feels as most are still with their hubbies and partners I was talking about this to a good friend who is also a widow and we agreed that we dont ‘live our lives’. We get through life by passing the time doing nice things. Sounds a bit morbid but I will continue to do this until I can be with Tony again 
I love my children and my grandchildren and will always find great love and joy in them but they have their own lives to lead
Lots of love to all of you dealing with these parallel lives we lead 
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I was thinking this earlier, how could I ever love someone as much as the love of my life for 42 years. It wouldn’t be fair on them.
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Made the same decision. I cant face being with anyone else.just feel like i would be dishonouring my beautiful gorgeous late wife sue and i will not ever do anything like that to sue .we had 22years together and I would give anything to have them back xx
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Well there are lots of people always been on their own and now I am on my own of course. Today feeling sorry for myself again but I used to say I would eventually carry on when my husband used to say I wouldn’t miss him but knew I would and said so. I know it takes at least three years for first horrible period to go.
But yesterday I made this huge effort to get out of my comfort zone and force myself to do something. Today I feel tired like I seem to do day after. I forgot dustbin yet again u til I heard cart and rushed out to catch them. I have to force myself to go to this plant sale in the village hall before it is ended this time. But a plant like I used to. Go and buy a chicken for tomorrow. Go on zoom tonight. I got moss killer out and it said must put it down when rain not forecast. Carry on do what he would have done. Feed the cat. Do what he would have done. He said I would be alright and he said he would be but he wasn’t but what else is there? Can say don’t like it but doesn’t change it.
Must pull myself together.
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I totally agree, whenever I’m asked my status I always reply ‘married’ simply because I am. Christine was the only woman I’ve ever truly loved and I have no wish to find anyone else. We’ll be reunited again one day
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‘We’ are all living a very lonely isolated life ….sorry existence
Take care
Xx
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