Thank you ……
Xx:+1:
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Been a while since I posted on here. It’s been just over 3 years since I lost Tony and I’m still riding this bloody rollercoaster of grief. It’s made me feel better to read what you all have to say about others continually telling us to ‘ move on’ and ‘you’ll meet someone else’. I’m not replacing a blooming 3 piece suite. How can you replace the love of your life? I think my friends feel I’m just being a bit of a martyr by saying I’ll never have another husband or partner. But I genuinely don’t want that. I still love my husband deeply and I’m still ‘married’ but saying these things make others feel better and providing it’s said without malice I just shrug it off. They have no idea how it feels as most are still with their hubbies and partners I was talking about this to a good friend who is also a widow and we agreed that we dont ‘live our lives’. We get through life by passing the time doing nice things. Sounds a bit morbid but I will continue to do this until I can be with Tony again 
I love my children and my grandchildren and will always find great love and joy in them but they have their own lives to lead
Lots of love to all of you dealing with these parallel lives we lead 
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I was thinking this earlier, how could I ever love someone as much as the love of my life for 42 years. It wouldn’t be fair on them.
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Made the same decision. I cant face being with anyone else.just feel like i would be dishonouring my beautiful gorgeous late wife sue and i will not ever do anything like that to sue .we had 22years together and I would give anything to have them back xx
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Well there are lots of people always been on their own and now I am on my own of course. Today feeling sorry for myself again but I used to say I would eventually carry on when my husband used to say I wouldn’t miss him but knew I would and said so. I know it takes at least three years for first horrible period to go.
But yesterday I made this huge effort to get out of my comfort zone and force myself to do something. Today I feel tired like I seem to do day after. I forgot dustbin yet again u til I heard cart and rushed out to catch them. I have to force myself to go to this plant sale in the village hall before it is ended this time. But a plant like I used to. Go and buy a chicken for tomorrow. Go on zoom tonight. I got moss killer out and it said must put it down when rain not forecast. Carry on do what he would have done. Feed the cat. Do what he would have done. He said I would be alright and he said he would be but he wasn’t but what else is there? Can say don’t like it but doesn’t change it.
Must pull myself together.
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I totally agree, whenever I’m asked my status I always reply ‘married’ simply because I am. Christine was the only woman I’ve ever truly loved and I have no wish to find anyone else. We’ll be reunited again one day
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‘We’ are all living a very lonely isolated life ….sorry existence
Take care
Xx
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Hello everyone.
I am nearly 14 months in now, and given the first Xmas was a blur my second will feel more like my first. I am getting so fed up with people telling me what I need to do and what I am hearing is along the lines of what you have said. Apparently I am told ‘well, it’s over a year now’. So I am supposed to dust myself off and carry on like nothing happened WTF? What we are all going through is not a timetabled event. Just had to rant, thanks for listening
Much love to you all x
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I’ve also had that. Last weekend I was told that I’m still a young(ish) woman and I need to get on with my life and find someone new. This was from someone whose first husband had literally dropped dead, like my S. She found someone else and married him.
I am still living in the fog and seem to be sleepwalking through the months. I’m not at the point where I can even consider dating; it has not been 10 months yet. 
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It’s ridiculous that people don’t understand that you have had the love of your life and that’s it . Someone said I should find someone new in the first few weeks of this journey . I can wait until I see my soulmate again
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I know that we will be together again when my time comes, whatever happens to me in the meantime. Even if I do ever meet someone new, I will only be with them because S is dead.
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Some people just don’t get it.
So sorry that happened xx
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Only you can know how you truly feel no one should be telling you how to feel trust your greif process it is individual and important
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Every loss is difficult and different. There is no time limit and no rule book take care of yourself and give yourself permission
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