Hi Martin
No it doesn’t get easier well not not me
I too just go through the motions
No interest no pleasure nothing
My reason for living has gone
And like you I don’t want 20 years of existence
Life’s so so cruel
You are not alone…….
Xx
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I agree wholeheartedly with the last two comments. Each day somehow feels harder than the one before. There’s literally nothing to look forward to now -it’s a space I never thought I’d find myself in. The thought of living another year in this void is like a living nightmare
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Well today was a mixture. After 16 months I said goodbye finally to my husband’s car. So many memories.
But seeing it there was like he was still here. I couldn’t drive a manual car. My car is automatic. Even that has been a huge stretch to get confidence back. He used to drive me.
But I got ready to go to the afternoon tea and quiz in the next village. I have got used to going without my husband now as loads other ladies in same boat.
I had my son working in my old office upstairs. He looks like his dad. When he is here feels more normal. I seem to be able to get on better.
He reminds me of his dad at same age before he was ill.
Tomorrow we are having a spa day which is my Christmas present.
It has been a slow old job dealing with things. I am not going to make a teddy out of his clothes. I am going to dress a teddy with the material from his clothes in miniature. We were talking how charity shops chuck stuff willy nilly. That is hurtful. So prefer to do my own things
with his stuff.
Had all this before with my parent’s stuff.
Do not have to follow what other people do.
We are all different.
I did a bit of gardening today. Dustbin day tomorrow. Didn’t forget this week.
Found a lovely photo of me and my husband I am thinking of either having it into a photo frame. We look happy together before he was ill. How I like to think of him.
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I,ve put some of sues favourite things in a memory box.slowly sorting through the rest and a friend who is a church minister runs a charity in Namibia is collecting the other items so
At least sues living on by helping people less fortunate than we are which is what sue would have wanted to happen xx
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Good on you - what a thoughtless person to have suggested something so stupid!
X
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I am sorry to know Martyn2. I am also going thru the same emotions and sometimes I try to distract myself by either binging on TV shows or working too much, but at the back of my mind, my wife is always there. My elder brother who is a GP, tells me time cures everything and you would be strong; but when i think of her, I burst into tears and it takes a while to control myself. Its been 7 months since she left us. Well, I think the grief, the void, the emotions would never go away till I die.
Its a pain which I have to carry to my grave.
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Hi Cheerme up
I don’t personally think time is a healer
Paul passed away July 2022 and I am worse now than when he first died
I was numb then
Now it reality it’s forever the pain inside me is horrendous and I uncontrollably cry every single day …… many many times
I realise grief if different for all of us but I’m finding it totally unbearable
Xx
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So sorry to know, @Bess1. Hope you find a new meaning and direction in life. I know how you might feel as i feel the same of losing my wife at 53 only. My son is atleast with me but he hardly has the time to spend with me.
Pray you stay strong.
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Thank you Cheermeup
we all get ‘through’ this somehow
Xx
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Martyn2
Well what did you put in a memory box as I can’t think and what sort of box?
I suppose could use wooden chest.
Shoe boxes in there maybe. His photo albums he cherished; his treasures he kept; his well used stuff he liked to keep; photos; his handwritten stuff; his certificates; his cards he loved; bit of his music; his ornaments he chose I don’t like but he did, his fav books, and essence. His dressing gown. Tie he wore most, watch, I D. Things, maybe photograph them because one day hard to store that much.
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Enorac.some of sues silk nighties and dressing gowns.sues favourite jumpers ,some of our favourite photos some jewellery. Her leather bike jacket.some letters we wrote to each other. Couple of our cds which we liked. Theres a few more bits but i can’t face doing it at the moment. There in a plastic crate at the minute but a friend of mine is making a special one out of wood for me xx
I think we should do our best to enjoy what little time we have. Our loved one’s would surely want that. Doing that is another matter but we must try.
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You are so right PeteLonsomeCowboy. Its the best way we can honour them in their memory 
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Yes you are so right
But easier said than done ……
Xx
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We can only find how to do that our own way. Whether it was something we enjoyed together or something you find yourself that interests you. There is a big hole in our lives and I doubt it can ever be totally filled. It’s coping with that and keep on trying your best to make out of life what you can . Love to all who are suffering.xxx
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Hi
Yes you are so right
I just want my life back we loved it
Until Cancer got his way
Xx
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Sundays hard on your own. Trying hard to be as positive as last year. Was only four months in then but feels just as hard or more so now sometimes. Looked round garden centre again to get spring flowers. Like I always did. Even put sun cream on and that is in England!
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Hi
Yes it’s 20 months tonight for me and got to say
Numb the first year then year 2 bang….reality
Not coping at all
Hate this ‘new’ life
Xx
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Bess1 i can relate to this.been just over a year since I lost my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue. Just feel so lost without sue .i just want my life back with sue .I went over to a local bikers cafe Saturday to do an easter egg run but came home instead because I couldn’t face it
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Sending big hugs x
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