Thank you Steph. x x x x x x
1 Like
Hi Mary.
I am so sorry to hear you have porphyria. I have the gene but it hasn’t presented for 3 generations now. I’ve never spoke to anyone who experiences the symptoms. I just wanted to share that I have concerns about passing it on too. It’s such an uncommon thing but your family isn’t alone.
1 Like
I meant Steph sorry. 
Hello Dee dee
I so relate to what you are feeling. It is 2 years this month that I lost my husband and I am really struggling. Got a lovely family I speak to on facetime but no physical contact . I am very busy in the day despite being in self isolation but the nights and weekends are lonely. I now cry at the drop of a hat with no good reason. I know many are worse than I but it doesn’t make me feel better. I keep thinking I will learn to cope with it but you are another 2 years on from me and I wonder is it worth it. 
1 Like
Hi this is the first time I’ve posted anything so bear with me I lost my beloved husband 11mounths ago to cancer .The grief is unbearable . I was just getting on a bit better when the corona virus hit .I was totally lonely before all this now it’s a million times worse I have a daughter that comes to visit me but has to stay her distance .And miss my little grandson so much .This is unbearable .MEZ
2 Likes
I don’t just feel alone. I am alone. My husband was all l had. We came back after living in Spain for 16 years in February 2018 to find the cupboard was bare. Everyone has moved on. Grandchildren and established in life., David died within four months of us coming back. . Married 40 years, loved him since I was 15. Nothing to go back to in Spain. No longer belong here. Can’t commit suicide. Will swap lives if you like?
1 Like
Hi Dee Dee. I lost my partner 18 months ago and was just getting a more used to being my own but I always had friends and relations around me but now I feel.like I felt when he first died with not being able to see anyone except on zoom. X
1 Like
Hi Deedee. We lost our daughter March this year. The weeks leading up to the funeral where awful as lock down came into force and we ended up with just 6 at her funeral. Right now I’m struggling so much as I haven’t had chance to share her final weeks or have my family around to grieve together. I have lost a grandson and my dad in the past 2 years and they got the send off they deserved and we go to grieve for them. Sitting at home everyday just reminds me of what we went through in her last and the fact she didn’t get the funeral she deserved. It feels like we are stuck on the day she passed .
1 Like
That could be me who has written this Deedee! My husband passed away 24th April 2019 and I am finding it so hard! I also go for a walk every morning which makes me feel better, just to be in the fresh air and to see the lovely countryside! Like you I come back to a empty house with nobody to talk to, I have a supportive family but it is not the same as having a husband to be with in these lonely lockdown days! I have had the most awful afternoon today crying most of the time, I have my own indoor swimming pool made with all the tears!! As you say it is so lonely with this lockdown I don’t think people understand that being on your own and not being able to visit people is just awful!
Take care
Janet x
2 Likes
Hi Janet It’s totally awful I’m sitting here so lonely .I had my 70th Birthday in April 23rd I’ve never felt so lonely wishing my husband Tom was with me I miss him so much it’s indescribable .Friends and family are good don’t get me wrong but nothing and know one makes up for my Tom he was my life .We were best friends hope you are okey I know there are many people at the moment like me but it doesn’t make it any easier I wish it did I’m writing this with tears running down my face sorry if there is but so down at the moment Mez Xx
4 Likes
Does anyone have any views on suicide? Does anyone have any views on a good??? God. The people on the bereavement line tell me there are many lonely people who have absolutely no one. I have never met one. . My husband was the most beautiful of men, inside and out. I look at the love in his eyes on photographs and the agony l feel is indescribable. . I sob for hours every day. The pain after nearly 23 months is not improving. Something inside kept telling me it wouldn’t be long. Something kept telling me . I could be forced to live for another twenty years or more. How do I start my life again at age 63?
2 Likes
Hi Mez I feel your pain and I am sure you think it could be worse but that doesn’t help much does it. I guess we can all give advice but we dont practice what we preach do we. The only thing I have done to get through this awful time is to try and help or cheer up others. It helps to get through the day. It’s the night that is really hard. It does get a bit more bearable as you try to rebuild your life on your own. I met Brian when I was 15 and have never lived on my own until 70 even though I have been independent. One of the hardest things is not having anyone to share
1 Like
So sorry to hear about your losses. No words can ease your pain. Have you considered grief counselling? On a practical basis you may think about planning a memorial. I’m 2 years in and anniversaries are dreadful but they do pass. My thoughts and prayers are with you 
1 Like
Hi DeDe i lost my husband in november 2017 i too have supported family and friends i also have a dog who is 13 years old in june, i was beginning to cope quite well until the covid19, just wish it was all over 
xxx
1 Like
Hello Anne Marie
Thank you for your message and can I say I am sorry for your loss. Until things like this happen we do not realise how much our life changes. I am pleased like me you have a loving family and get to speak to them on Facetime (thank goodness for modern technology). Since losing Allen I have to a certain extent got used to being alone trying to fill my time keeping myself busy with various things but I still have days when I long for my life to be back to how it was. I feel that since the lockdown I am re grieving if that makes sense. Not having anyone there face to face to share your worries with and being unable to go out and meet up with friends who always manage to lift my spirits. I honestly believe there is no time limit on the grieving process and for you 2 years it is still early days and you will have been finding ways of coping and now suddenly your life is once again upside down and the feeling of being alone is immense. I am sure you will begin to cope in different ways whilst never forgetting your late husband I find keeping tight hold of our wonderful memories and talking about him with family and friends help me. Take care and stay safe xx
1 Like
Thank you. You hit the nail on the head. I live in a Retirement Village and we are in virtual lockdown. This has coincided with Brian"s anniversary and somewhere in the middle of moving apartment! I think one of the challenges is lack of control of our lives. I have spent the last 8 weeks sourcing things for my fellow residents we have 72 apartments. I am fortunate to be well connected. This with establishing another charity, my day job, keeps me busy. It’s the evenings and w/ends that are hard to bare. Still it will pass I guess. Hope you are keeping safe and well xx
Hi Sheila what a wonderful message to help us all. As you know I had 50 wonderful years with my Ron. What you said was true and uplifting if that is the word. This Virus has made me think just like you and to know that we are so lucky to have had the life we had together. Mind you I would love Ron to be here to help me and our lovely family through this Virus , he was so calming to us all always giving us the best love and help in any problems. I miss him so much Sheila and love him more now than I ever thought I could. It is his Anniversary of his passing in June and we have decided to do a virtual quiz with our family and I am going to be the quiz master and all the questions are going to be all about my lovely Ron and his life. The more you talk about our loved ones the more they are still here. Thank you once again Sheila for helping us Love and Hugs to you. xxx Carol xxxx
2 Likes
Mez,
I am so sorry that you have lost your beloved husband, grief is the worst emotion of all. I shall write more tomorrow, I am about to go to bed now.
Stick with us, this is a wonderful forum, each of us are suffering because of the loss of a dear loved one.
Take care,
Goodnight.
MaryL x
3 Likes
Thank you for your reply. I blame myself for David’s death. And no one will convince me otherwise. It is so sad that there are people who want to die and some people who die so young especially when doing a good valuable job like working to help save people’s lives. Take care.
So sorry for the loss of your husband. I am only 63 and the thought of having to continue breathing for another twenty years or more is torture. Take care.
3 Likes