Me too Gemball hopefully we will soon see a light at the end of the tunnel. I too was doing ok until all this and then it was like loosing Allen all over again it will be 4 years in June for me. Keep tight hold of all these memories. Stay safe x
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Hi everyone,
I have been reading your posts for sometimes and this is my first post. I cry every time when I read them. I learnt that there are so many people out there who are in similar or the same situation, loss of your partners or your loved ones.
I lost my darling husband of 25 years, Janos over nine months ago. He was my everything as we had no children, there were only two of us. It was alright then because we got each other and we were very closed, always did things together but you never knew what life would throw at you. Now that he’d gone forever and I’m left feeling so empty and all alone in this world.
It doesn’t get any easier as days, weeks and months passed by. I cry every now and then missing him so so terribly, longing to see him to hug him. I hope that I can reunite with him not too long. How could I go on living with only half of me left?
I feel the same as you all this site feel that no one understands nor asks me how I feel. I have been told a few times that I have to get over it and get on. I understand they meant well but they will never know how it feels till they experience the journey of such grief them self. I just feel I have to put on a brave face, a friend of mine would say you look good but never ask or know how I feel.
I feel that my life had ended too even though it goes on unwillingly. I still go to work three days a week and do everything around the house but feeling so all alone. I think missing him and you know that you can never have him back ever again, is the worst part.
With warm regards and take care,
Pavica
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Dear Pavica,
Welcome to this forum where nobody wants to be. I am so sorry that you are going through this heartbreak, I do understand, 9 months ago, I found my beloved husband on our bedroom floor, he had died. We were married for 59 years and I miss him so much. I firmly believe that when the time is right we shall be re-united. We have a daughter and a son (I still say we) they live a long way away in opposite directions, I have been unable to see them because of this pandemic, They keep in touch and sort things out for me, I was in shock for months, I knew that Stan wasn’t well I never expected to lose him.
Take care and stay safe,
Blessings,
MaryL
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Mary I think we are all in the same boat and because people don’t understand the grief experienced they think you will be ok after a few months/years and they dont want to hear that you are not fine, getting over it. No matter how much you fill your day there are still the nights the weekends when they are doing there own things.
Since the lockdown it has been like groundhog day and night. So miss hugs from him and my grandchildren 
it does get easier and you will have happy times but never the truly happy times you had with your partner. xx
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Pavica my heart goes out to you. Four years in June my beloved husband died in the bathroom. He had been diagnosed with lung, bone and liver cancer only 9 days previously. We never got the care he so deserved at the end of his life and the day he died at home will live with me forever. We were married for 46 years and have two sons who with their families have been tremendous support to me but at the end of the day it is so hard not having anyone to come home to and discuss lifes ups and downs. This pandemic has made it harder for us all to cope with the loss of our loved ones. I hope you find some kind of solace in the wonderful memories you must have of you late husband. Take care stay safe
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Oh dear Lonely
I do feel for you. We all have to travel this journey in our own way. I had cancer 10 years ago and the one thing I kept thinking was how long will this go on. I so wanted to think past it and see an end date. I feel this most days. I am sure you like I had conversations with our loved ones that if one of us was to die the other could meet someone else and that was ok.
We had no idea that the last thing we could think of was meeting someone else. Time is endless but I guess we will build a new life I just would like to know when xx
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Dear Mary,
Thank you so very much for your kind words. Sometimes I still can’t believe that my Janos is really gone forever. It’s such torment not to be able to see him ever again.
People say the pain of the loss will ease over time but I’m not sure if it ever will.
Take good care xx
Pavica
Hi Deedee,
Thanks very much for your response. I’m sorry to hear about your loss too. I guess we are all on the same boat.
To read other people’s posts and stories gives some sort of comforting, knowing that you are not really alone in this world.
Yes, the pandemic has made our bereavement a lot worse especially when you are on your own without family. Likewise please take good care and stay safe .
Best regards,
Pavica
Thanks Lonley
I think that many who have lost their partner when they are younger find it easier to start again. The difference for folk like us is that we met when we were young and have spent a lifetime together. I met Brian when we were 15 and 16 and were together until 70 and 71. I have never been on my own. I can’t imagine life with another partner. Although I think it may be nice to have a companion some time in the future. A good friend perhaps. Being with Brian all those years we were best friends and I only have a couple of good friends but they have husbands. I did join a couple of friendship sites after the first thoes of grief but found it difficult. I am now looking at different voluntary groups. I am very much involved with charities and voluntary organisations and have been for many years. Where I am moving to has a Theatre, Museum and Art Gallery so I may explore those. Are you retired? Do you get involved in the community? The only positive from Covid is ironically bringing fold together despite social distancing!
I am blessed with a good family who are so supportive but they have their own lives. You take care 
Sorry I called you lonely rather than Sheila I get mixed up with titles.
Anne x
Dear Sheila,
I am so sorry that you have been so distressed, I shall try and ring you on your landline. Grief is so dreadful, it seems to take your very soul from you, I do understand.
I hope that today, is a better day for you, it is true, we never get over losing our loved ones.
Take care, stay safe,
Love
Mary x x
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Hi Sheila
Having a bad day used to confuse me. Where did these feeling suddenly spring from when I thought I was having a pretty good day. But your last line interested me. ‘he is with me in spirit’, I accepted this also and when I now have a bad day I think of it as my husband letting me know that he is still around and I am not to forget him. So those tears are for him and sometimes I find myself saying. “Okay I’m remembering you” It’s become my way of coping. and helps me get past the sadness.
Pat xxx
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Dear Sheila,
Thank you for the phone call, I am glad that our chat cheered you up. I really enjoyed sharing our memories.
Take care,
Love
Mary x x
And why shouldn’t he be with you Sheila, he is a big and important part of your life and always will be. Our loved ones should not be forgotten. I can’t see why it should be expected that we ‘get over them’ and ‘move on’ . Our life with them was a precious gift that we want to hang onto for ever. Just too good to let go.
Love to you
Pat xx
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I agree with you Pat x x