Feeling desperate

It is nice to be able to talk about him. I feel like people don’t mention him for fear of upsetting me but it is more upsetting to behave like he didn’t exist. I still have his coats on the hall stand and his slippers on the shoe rack. I don’t know if this is right but I cannot bear to move them. Thanks for talking. I am having a bit of a crappy evening but that seems to be the new normal. Xxx

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Bless you @Billie7 . I understand your feelings . Mine are the other way I can’t look at his things as they make me so sad he is not here to wear them . I hope tomorrow is a bit easier for you .

@Billie7 I still have all of my husband clothes and shoes. My son now drives his car. I have even got the maltesers that he brought me for Christmas unopened. The last present he brought me. He sadly died one week before Christmas so didn’t get to open his Christmas presents. I found my presents in the back room unwrapped. :pensive:

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Hazel that is really tough but shows how much he cared. He sounds like a lovely guy. Xxx

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@Billie7 thank you yes he was funny, handsome and generous though I never told him which I regret. I thought I had years to tell him. He brought me a car before he died. Xx

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Me too cant bear to move his things and regarding housework … im same … cant be bothered sometimes especially on a bad day … xxx have a nice evening ladies … im watching t.v. it soothes me … been in tears when my husbands brother rang tonight - asked how i was and burst into tears … miss him x

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Aww sorry debs it is hard. I’m going to watch bake off now. Night night xx

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Same … night xx

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Ueh groef is an awful thing. The way it hits us and change our lives. Take care and keep talking xx

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Sprey about typos … meant grief xx

@Lucy7 its a common feeling to want to end it and be with your loved one . My son and I felt like that for the first few weeks . It will pass Lucy . Think of living for your mum . I’m sure she will want you to my love

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I so want to go to my husband feelings are getting stronger x

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Your husband wouldnt want you to do that i have had them feelings too but i have 2 sons i couldnt do that to them. They are with us in spirit we will see them again this cant be the end here if you need a chat its 10 weeks since my husband suffered a cardiac arrest in bed next to me i know your pain x

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Hi Amy1982. I am so sorry for your loss and that.of your step son. I lnow exactly how you feel. I had only been with the live of my lufe for 7 years when he passed away in April. Although i have 3 children they dont live near. At least you and your step son have each other. This is my 3rd close bereavement as i also lost 2 children. I am devastated beyond words and only keep going for my 4 rescue dogs. Some days i cant motivate to do anything, even washing-up. I have seen a medium so know my husband is with me in spirit even if i cant see him. Death would be a blessing to me. I hope you and your step son can gradually rebuild some sort of lives for yourselves although these new lives are not what we would choose. Lits of love to you both x
.

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i am so sorry for your loss, my husband, we had been together for 52 years died 5 weeks ago , he had a long 7 year fight with lung cancer, and several times he nearly died, so in some ways i thought i was prepared,but when it actually did, i was heartbroken, and wished he had taken me with him, but know he would not have wanted that, i do cry a lot, today it is a nice day weatherwise so i decided to make myself take our dog out for a walk,which was hard because i had that funny dizzy head feeling, but i did it and when i got back,made a nice coffee, , sat in the chair and my dog put her paw up and knocked the coffee out of my hand, and my ‘my emotional dam’ just broke and i was sobbing, My dog has stared to howl in the night, and i think she is missing him terribly, like you , i do not have finacial worries, but i think what is the point, but, we have to go on, for the sake of the people we loved so very much. please take care of yourself, and let us hope, that as people say, the grief will get less, but our lovely memories never will.xxxx

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Totally understand this, Lucy, lost my Mum in May and it was very sudden, myself and my Dad have supported eachother through it, people have been very kind. I miss her terribly and think you go through so many scary emotions, almost like panic that shes not there. I believe she is there though, in spirit and love. You need to give yoursel time, and find support through the grief counselling. I found chatting online with them very helpful. Thinking of you xxx

It amazes me how many people think you should be alright . A friend said you spent so much time together more than many . So what that makes it even worse in my book to grieve

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Yeh thats true … makes it harder ! People just spout rubbish !!! Like today only been for a walk with dog and then nipped into co op … its very villagey and theyre a bit nosey … got some shopping and then in tears as soon as i walk in the house ! Its him not being here that hits me the most sometimes :frowning:

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I am having a terrible day. Can’t get out of bed. I think this is the lowest I have felt. I just don’t see the point anymore.

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Hi Billie7. So sorry to hear youre having such a bad day. I can totally relate to that as some days i only get up to see to the dogs and cant motivate to do anything else. Grieving takes a lot out of you and sometimes your body just needs to rest in your safe space. Set yourself just one small task at a time like getting yourself a cup if tea. Dont put pressure on yourself. Another day you may be able to do more. X

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