Sorry, meant to say thanks for your kind words
Thank you for your honest opinion. I’m holding off with the anti depressants, but there would be a point where I’d consider them.
Thank you for asking. I’m still grieving heavily and it’s still feels raw. There’s been a marginal improvement. I hold it together better. I’m still avoiding people.
Part of me is surprised by the depth of grief, as neither of my parents grieved so much when they lost their parents. I’m not working, but I help my partner with his business.
Without a doubt, some days are worse than others. A poor summer and the pandemic has not helped the situation. I don’t recognise the world I’m living in. It will take time to adapt. It’s all unsettling.
One thing I would say to everyone on here is - look after your health when you can.
Grief is hard to the mind and body.
Hi Anne3
Thank you for your kind words. Loss is loss irrespective of the relationship. They say there is a natural order to things, and I suppose that’s true to some extent. To lose a child must be bad, but to lose a parent is just as bad, they have been with you for all your life, and there love is unconditional irrespective of how much we take them for granted. As children they prevent us from doing things we want, we don’t have the wisdom to understand, but over the years, all that nurturing, guidance and discipline at times, makes sense when become wise enough to appreciate it. That’s when friendship kicks in.
They youth is wasted on the young, well that’s true, but we only realise that late in life. I had a good upbringing, I was taught to be honest, caring, respectful, helpful to say just a few. I’m old school, open doors for women, respectful and appreciative. Unfortunately youth of the day aren’t taught that, unless there is an app on the phone, they will be oblivious too the joys of mutual appreciation.
When we lose pets, well that’s hard, well is has always been for me, it’s still a loss at the end of the day.
I suppose whatever route you find yourself grieving, it’s all the same. We will all be on that path at some stage, that is one example of a natural order we can’t avoid. To some of us the path will be a gentle slope and you will walk a short distance in comfy shoes, others will be on a steep path for a long time, without shoes. We will all take that journey or be the reason that others are on the path.
I have yet to find the best way to walk this path, but it is steep, painful and long some days and easier on others. Sometimes you are in the path alone, and other days, you are with others.
That’s why chats, counselling and medication help, they make you see grief from another’s point of view, or a a friendly voice just walks with you for a while and try’s to steer you to softer ground if nothing else, or your mood is lifted with a little smartie in the morning with a cuppa. Whatever you chose, the most important thing is to keep healthy, accept you are on a journey, not one you would have ever chosen, but accept it, and keep moving forward one small step at a time.
Look after yourself and be kind to yourself, it’s not your fault, it’s horrible, relentless, and an absolute hell on earth, but we are all on the same path together, hope and comfort will be your destination in time, but not just yet.
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Mikeh,
You’re words are beautiful and uplifting. Pets are family.
I shall read it again. Thank you.
Thank you Daffy123 and Anne3
I write from the heart, mines just as broken as all those on these pages, but if I am managing to help in some small way, then that makes me feel good, and then you lift my spirits.
So the thanks are back to you.
We will get through this and raise our faces to the sun above and feel the warmth, and when that happens it will be the love and beautiful memories we have from the ones we have lost bathing our souls with each ray of sun we feel.
We just have to learn to cherish the things we have and not the things we can’t have.
Take care all, tomorrow will be a sunny day, enjoy it and think of it in a different way.
Hi Anne3 and daffy123
I know music is something all about taste and it can be difficult to listen to music at times like this.
I’m no different , “when will I see you again” by the Three degrees is a particular difficult one as it was at a time that I broke up with my girlfriend (don’t worry we got back together, well, we broke up again, and got back together and got married in the end) and more latterly, “Perfect” by Ed Sherran, the song we used to have impromptu dances in the kitchen to.
Both of which I can now listen too and remember the beautiful times we had throughout our wonderful marriage.
I wonder off! But lately I have been listening to an instrumental (well electronic orchestral) group by the name of Amethystium. I appreciate it’s not to everyone’s taste, but I sit quietly, well we all do that, and listen with my eyes shut and imagine being with my loved one, sometimes a glass of red accompanies me.
It does help me, it’s different music to what we used to listen too when we were together.
As I say, it’s not to everyone’s taste, but it works for me, like the books i’m writing about our love story. Hopefully people will enjoy them albeit it does cover the stages we are all going through and hopefully the eventual peace and hope. That we all deserve in time.
Hopefully you might find something in there to lift your mind a little.
Mikeh,
I’ll check Amethystium on youtube. Thank you.
Hi Anne3 and Daffy123
This will make you smile, I’m looking after my son’s two house cats at my home. They don’t go outside.
Just cleaned the litter tray, bag split all over the floor! Clean litter in the tray, cat goes in and has a, well you can guess.
Just goes to show that life goes on and we have to work with it.
Sorry to hear about your struggles. I lost my wife in April and still can’t believe she’s not here. I’m going to my daughters tomorrow, it’s my granddaughters third birthday. It took five years of IVF before she arrived. My wife was so involved, giving my daughter the injections, visit to the clinics etc. she was even at the birth. She would love to be there for her birthday. My granddaughter said to me yesterday when is grandma coming down from the sky to play with me. Heartbreaking
Take care x
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Hello Gary
I was thinking I was the only bloke on this site, it’s nice to hear from you, silly thing to say, but you know what I mean.
Well we both know how each other feel, it’s a hell on earth.
I wish you well and enjoy tomorrow, remember you have to be Nan and grandad now and let into your heart all the precious things that you will discover with you family. Your wife lives in you now. So let her feel and see the things through your eyes and arms.
No doubt we will speak more on this site.
All the very best and stay strong and safe.
Iam so sorry for your sad loss
I hope you have a lovely day with your granddaughter your wife will be with you all looking down
It is terribly hard when I see my granddaughter’s my heart breaks as my husband absolutely adored both girls knowing he won’t ever see them grow up is to much to comprehend
Take care
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