Lost her two years ago next month. Ive got friends and family that I see regularly so not alone like many people .Was at a friends for dinner last night ,Im out tomorrow with them on our bikes so I can’t say I havent got distractions but today for some reason Im just do fed up. I know I shouldnt be but I just can’t help feeling sorry for myself. Nothings happened today particularly to cause it ,its not her birthday or anything , I’m just fed up.
Even when he was alive I would have fed up days. Now I so wish I hadn’t and savoured every one. We can’t be ok every day. It’s just not possible. Can’t believe it is coming up 3 months without him. Feels like a lifetime. I too am having a down day but my arthritis is playing up today. Doing the things I have to do is difficult and painful. No family close to help.
Lost my husband 1 year ago. Like you have friends and family just back from lunch along coast. I am ok when out with friends but when come back to empty house I feel sad and lonely take care
I have lots of family and friends who have been wonderful but I never know when the grief will hit and I become a blubbering mess. Perfect example this evening, think I’d felt a bit wobbly all day, it’s been a whole 8 weeks without my love, my soulmate, my best friend. Went to pub with friends but didn’t last long, there was no trigger, think I’d been on the edge of tears all day and when they (the tears) started I just wanted to go home, which I did. It’s not fair to keep subjecting them all to my blubbering emotions. I’m so so sad.
Im new to this life… I feel so sad all the time. I have signs from my wife but how do we get closer, have you managed to feel closer as your 2 years past? Do tou still feel her with you?
John1066 The answer is yes I still feel her with me and think I always will . I also dont believe that the pain of loss will ever go. Meeting friends and family is just a distraction for me its when you’re eventually left alone with your thoughts thats the worst . Best wishes to you. Everyone in this group is with you.
Dear Peter, I lost my beloved husband suddenly over six months ago under dramatic circumstances. I am still struggling to come to terms with it. I stayed at home now for about a week and actually, I do not want to see or talk to anybody. I am on my own but I have German and French friends and I forced myself to talk to them or send emails. Today I woke up crying and I cannot see why I am still here. There are days when I think everything will be OK but they are very rare. I have to go out on Monday because I have to return a book and pick up my reserved books. I have to go to the surgery again because they still cannot get my prescription correctly. I am on the waiting list for Mind Thurrock for counseling and also take tablets. Sending love and hugs.
I am sorry you are down again. Your surgery must be absolutely useless taking so long to sort out your prescription. I hate weekends especially Sundays. My neighbour suggested I rejoin Facebook. I have and have “spoken” to some relatives I haven’t been in contact with for a while. Still figuring out how best to use it. I do hope you have a better day soon. I have a day out next week to look forward to. Being taken up to Ham Hill for an ice cream. Have also booked for covid/flu jabs and a taxi to get me to and from the appointment. Just hope I just have the 2 sore arms I experienced last year. Surgery takes over the local centre for a weekend and does a mass session. I am booked on a Sunday. Hugs xx
Hi Sandra, just emailed you. I still have to talk to the surgery about the jabs. Hopefully, I can have them at the Tilbury Health Center. Sending love and hugs.
Thank you for that wonderful reply
Ah all this sucks tbf … want my husband back ! I generally find people so flipping stupid or tactless … cant be bothered !!!
You’re allowed to be fed up. You’re allowed to feel anything you feel. You’re human. Sometimes I get cross with myself for my feelings but then I remember that A. I would find it very hard to be friends with someone who didn’t have emotions and B. the times I’ve felt most close to other people have been those when they shared their emotions, including them being fed up.
You’ve lost someone you love very dearly, it’s awful. So don’t beat yourself up for feeling fed up and sorry for yourself, it’s totally understandable
I still have days like this. It’s been 14 months but still find it hard to accept some days. Like you there doesn’t have to be anything in particular to trigger a bad day. I have had a weekend away with family but I find coming back to an empty house still upsets me.
Seem to be up and down today. Just had a call from a physio to arrange delivery of a rollator for me to try. That just made me think of Norman. How I never needed one with his strong arm and a stick. I don’t go out without someone as I am terrified of falling. Last time it took 3 people to get me up. That has set me off crying again. Hopefully it will make me feel more secure than with just a stick so I may venture out if the house even if just to the post box. I just see very little future so try to think 1 day at a time.
Sorry you are having a bad day Sandra. I feel for you. I know what it is like when you are not steady on your feet.At the moment my arthritis has subsided a little and I am able to walk freely.
A rollator , as you say, might be a good option and at least if you are able to you can venture out. It would be nice just to be able to walk to your drive and chat to your neighbours. I hope it arrives soon for you so you can get out while it is still nice.
It is not the same without our husbands to support us.
With love. Alison xx
@Alir supposed to be coming on Thursday so I can try it. It should have a seat. This could mean I can post my own letters as the post box is only at the end of the road. It will also be useful when I go to have my flu/covid jabs in 1st October. Just hope they bring one to take my weight.
So sorry Sandra you are having an up and down day. Hopefully, the rollator will be just what you need to give you more independence and to go outside.
I can well understand your worry about falling. I, too, am thinking about the consequences of falling now that I am on my own. I am going to get a stick for when the weather is bad.
The problem is I am not exactly a light weight. The first time I fell I was locked in the house alone soon after we moved in and Norman was going to be out all day. Managed to get to a phone. As I wasn’t hurt I phoned the fire brigade who agreed to come out. They found a way in through a bathroom window. It then took two strong firemen to get me on my feet. My neighbour loved coming over and giving them all tea. The second time was when I hurt my knee which has never fully recovered. That time I was outside. Lucky enough that one man came from the rec centre and another grounds man working in the rec. the two of them and Norman managed to get me off the pavement. I do hope I get in with the rollator. Then at least I will be able to walk up to the school.
Sandra, I have everything crossed for you and with your positive attitude and determination, I’m sure a rollator is going to be a great asset for you,