Hi all, sorry to be negative but having another big wobble tonight. It’s a year to the day I found out my husband had terminal cancer … but lost again … Hooe all of you are surviving xx
Hi Debbie im sorry your having a big wobble .Im sat here thinking why my life is so rubbish .So your not alone i understand friend hug Colin
Sorry to hear you are so upset. If this grief is a roller coaster I wish we could stop it and get off for a rest for a bit. Warm regards.
Hi Debbie
Not negative at all, you poor love. Every anniversary is horrid.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Mel
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Oh Debbie, I’m so sorry I wish I could take away our pain.x
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Thank you everybody. Hope you all have an ok weekend, thinking of you all x
Hi Debbie so sorry you were having a wobble.
I was the same yesterday & this morning. I think it’s the most I’ve cried since Terry died on 27th Nov I felt such despair & am missing him so much.
My daughter & I went to the football this afternoon something that Terry & I always did & then to my lovely brother & his wife’s for tea & ended up having an OK afternoon. You just never know sometimes how any day will pan out. I hope you’ve been more settled today my love.
Take care xxx
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It’s just coming up to 3 years since my son Joshua who was 16 died. I dread it every year. The pain isn’t easing and there are so many of us in the same situation no matter how long ago it was. Sending massive hugs
I have many bad days where i completely break down, it sometimes feel a struggle to go on and lead a normal life
Hi Debbie,3 weeks ago today I lost my husband to cancer.Felt terrible yesterday but ok today it only takes the slightest thing for me to start crying.
I cant get it out of my head the suffering he went through all for nothing .
xx
Hi there. I totally understand where you are coming from. I’m almost a year on from losing Andy to cancer and the final stage still haunts me now. It’s a truly evil disease. I still have nightmares now about it all and miss my life with him so so much. You will in time have ‘good’ days but we are facing a life we didn’t want and it’s a struggle. I’m thinking of you and all I can say is you can only do one day at a time. I still do nearly a year on. I can’t plan anything still. Take care and keep talking on here x
I can so resonate with you all. As youve said some days are okayish but then like today when I was looking at a photo of Phil on holiday last year and he had a big beaming smile I thought how can the love of my life have just gone in an instant with no warning or anything and reality hits that he wont be coming back and it envelopes you in an all engulfing wash of emotions which just made me cry when I was in work. Daughter picked me up from work and couldnt stop crying. Crying seems to be the one constant in my life. When I come in from work I cry because its always been Phil picking me up and me coming in for my tea and I used to love that because Phil was a great cook. Now I just have ready meals because I cannot even bother doing any cooking probably because I never had to because Phil did it. The lynchpin of our family is gone and the last 10 weeks have been the hardest of my life and I can never see me getting over it. I hate this life so so much. The Doctor took me off my sleeping tablets all at once so I am also not sleeping well which is making me feel out of sorts with myself. The only consolation I have is that Phil is around me spiritually but like I cried tonight I just want him home with me. How do we all cope! My heart goes out to you all xx
Hi,Today been a ok day since Bob died 3 weeks ago but tomorrow can be completely different.I have stopped cooking I cant be bothered and I love cooking.
i have just watched a video today of Bob walking down the Hospital corridor and its only 5 weeks ago and we had so much hope and now he’s gone.
Like all men Bob had a man drawer that I hadn’t to go in,today I did and cried all the time looking at what he had kept just rubbish to me but not to Bob.
I cant feel Bob now I did the first week he died but he’s gone now to wherever we go.
Hi Sue, good to hear you had an ok day. It’s 6 months tomorrow for me. Went to visit our home yesterday as I haven’t moved back and I know what you mean about the man draw thing as I was getting upset at all the things he never got chance to use. The front garden had developed weeds but I couldn’t face the neighbours coming out and asking how I was so my sister volunteered for me. I know what you mean about the hope thing as I had been looking at photos from when my Husband had first gone into hospital. It’s alarming when you feel you can’t sense your Husband around you I know, but that’s probably just temporary. I still dream quite often which can be both a comfort or distress. Quite often they are dreams were he has been “fixed” - then I wake up. Not good. Take care Sue. Tina.
Eight months on from my Mum now and have gone backwards badly. Not helped by the anniversary of losing my Dad this week and has brought that back as well. Keep telling myself that everyone goes through the loss of loved ones but doesn’t help. Still feel awful. Have started going to bed early as at least there I can just lie in the dark and not make an effort with anything.
I too have dreams, some with Mum and Dad together so hope there is some sort of afterlife where they are happy.
Hi Daughter2tall, it is quite possible that your husband hasn’t necessarily left you permanently. I wouldn’t be surprised if you feel his presence again soon, especially when you need him. Take good care of yourself.
Mel - Sorry to hear you are having a bad spell, I hope things are more “ok” tomorrow for you. Kindest regards.
Hi all, and love sent to, we are in the club that no one wants to be a member of!!. I’m dyslexic so please excuse mistakes… This might be too much to say but I’m very very low and painfully miss my beautiful and special mum who passed in may last year. Of terminal cancer told in February of the same year. I nursed her throughout even in the hospice I lived there with her and we lived together at home too. Peas in pod everyone said and now it’s just me and I feel so very low and alone and lonely. I keep feeling very suicidal it scares me. I get so scared and this awful ache pain of missing mum it’s a undesirable feeling of sadness and hurt. I just want to be with my mum. I’m so lost without her and on my own. I feel maybe I should end it.
Love sent to all on here. Xxx
Hello Tray - I’m so very sorry to read you are feeling so distressed. I can’t begin to fully understand your particular loss as my loss was my Husband but pain is pain all the same and I truly empathise on that front, even to the point of feeling suicidal. Do you think you are feeling worse because it’s nearly a year. Do you feel suicidal at this minute? If you do please telephone 111, they will probably direct you to A and E or you can walk in there yourself. Do you have a mental health helpline crisis number if you have a history of depression. You could always ring Samaritans, of even email them. Have you siblings or a friend you can call. Please don’t ignore the suicidal thoughts or suffer in silence. If you are feeling ok at the present you could try to get at appointment with one of the more sympathetic GPs in your practice to have a talk with. Also check back in on here for chats. Warmest regards.
Dear Tray, I am very sorry to read that you are feeling so low. Nearly everyone here goes through bad spells and has dark thoughts sometimes. The thing is we just have to keep going until they pass. What you did for your mum was amazing and goes to show what inner strength you have. You have come this far, just keep going. And if you still feel so bad there is the Samaritans who you can call anytime 116123. I’m sure your mum would want you to keep going until life gets a bit better. Whenever I have bad thoughts I tell myself they are just thoughts that you don’t have to act on and that they will pass with time. Hang on in there Tray. With best wishes.