I am in a similar position after losing my partner on 25/3 after a year long battle with brain cancer. I am totally lost, we were soulmates & did everything together. Rob was taken ill just as I had retired & we were supposed to have gone to Spain or 3 months. Instead the Chemotherapy started & the focus was on trying to beat the disease…we failed!
Now the house is empty along with my life . I try to keep myself busy but when you are retired that is not easy, evenings & nights are the worst. I have no single female friends either probably as I am also in my 60’s. My emotions are all over the place & hate the thought of living my life like this, I miss him so much
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I hope you don’t mind me joining in this thread. I can honestly say this community of people is holding me and my emotions together. So many of you are saying everything I’m feeling. That I’ve no future without my darling Rich who was only 54. I’m 53. I can’t image any life without him. My friends are lovely but they’re not my Rich. I’ve no desire to find someone else but I don’t want to spend whatever time I have left alone either.
I feel like my proper life has stopped and I’ve been given someone else’s life to live that’s not mine x
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I know exactly what you mean . Was trying to explain to my friend before like msn say I’m here. I’ve not just lost my Bry, I’ve lost myself too because this ‘life’ ( existence) is not the same without my gorgeous Bry & our plans for the future. Yes I’m sure ‘some days ‘ I/we will smile again on occasions but never as we did without our precious ones being beside us 
xxx
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That’s it isn’t it? Even if I can have happy times in the future they won’t be the right kind of happy because Rich will be missing.
Sending love for whatever is ahead of us xx
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Same to you too xxx
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@SP60 thank you for caring hun but music has a different meaning to me now even songs like yesterday, help, I see different meanings to the lyrics and end up crying and my Sue bought me my guitars, my fender, Gibson les paul, Gretsch its what my Sue would buy me for my birthday. My Sue even bought me my Vox and Fender amps and my foot pedal yes its called A cry baby lol. Which by the way I have become. No. music I love has become out of reach to me since my Sue. My Sue is my first love and music was my second now my first love has passed and my second love seems unimportant. Hope you recover your life soon. My best to you dave
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I just want to say that my Keith, whom I have just lost, was 61 when I met him, I was 41. He had sadly and suddenly lost his wife 3 years previously, they had been married 25 years or so with 2 sons. We met, fell in love and were incredibly happy, I knew Keith for 12 years, we got married nearly 2 years ago, bought our home nearly 5 years ago, and now tragically I’m the widow now. But, we had 12 amazing happy years and totally in love. So please, don’t give up. You’re not replacing your loved one, you just fall in love with another person, the next chapter in your life. You don’t stop loving your lost one, you are just carrying on with life.
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I can relate to that. I started playing along on my guitar to Wish You Were Here, but it was too much. I’ve not played again yet. I want to though as Keith was the only person I would play in front of, as I’m shy. He liked my playing, although the cats don’t! I’m sure I will when I’m ready. I find it very relaxing and almost trance like, so I think it may help with grieving and relaxing. I hope you do play again
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@SP60 thank you hun
Comforting to know it’s not just me I don’t want anyone else but miss the companionship someone to go on holiday with sit and drink coffee in comfortable silence. Days out/holidays are a double edged sword old places remind me of when he was alive new places remind me he won’t ever see them. We were in middle of moving when he was diagnosed with brain cancer 5 months later he passed everytime I achieve something in new house I cry because he isn’t here to see it
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@Bobbysgirl
I was trying to explain that to my mum, how can i go on holiday because i will want to go to the same places as me and Jane did. I dont want another relationship not now not ever so how do i do all those coupled type of things like going to movies, holidays and days out with out being in a full blown relationship, i dont want to end up with what my mum would call a lady friend but everyone i know is with someone and id feel like a spare wheel or it would just end up being a lads holiday when all i want to do is relax and chill out at the beach. Would feel even more isolated and lonely if i went alone
Can’t win can we
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To me the obvious answer to that situation is find someone in the same position, it seems there are a lot of people who just want the company at the moment and nothing more. Without creating a ‘dating’ site, you never know, could be people here happy to meet up when ready,
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I lost my husband 18 days ago. I have 2 daughters aged 8 and 10 and Im so lost. I dont think I will ever feel normal again. Its like the light inside me has died with my husband. I cant stand being around people. I have to go back to work in a week and Im dreading it. I tried taking my girls out for a meal and it felt so wrong.
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@Chantell25
18 days is incredibly early days and to have two young girls, I’m so sorry for your loss.
You will feel lost for a while yet. Can’t you go to GP and get signed off work?
Take small steps, I’m 3 months in and it does get easier .
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That’s not along bereavement leave , I feel mines early and it’s 3 months xx look after you first hun , contact gp get a sick paper , I’m not going to function at work yet I know so you will definitely not xxx take care xx
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I wish I could, I Feel I need longer, but worried my kids go without. but I dont get paid if I dont work. Sick pay wont cover our bills.Its aweful isnt it. I did get the Widows bereavement payment but that has to top up my salary till Ive sorted out our finances. Its a nightmare I just cant seem to Wake up from
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@Chantell25
If you’re paying a mortgage, you could look into freezing it for a few months, until you can get things sorted.
That’s exactly how I have felt. Numb but occupied in the weeks leading up to the funeral with all the ‘admin’. Worse since the funeral, worse since I collected his ashes. I don’t know what to get up for except the dog. Thank goodness for the dog. The evenings are hard because we usually sat down and found a film or a box set to follow back to back. I can’t find anything and can’t settle or get into anything. Last night I found a film which was actually really good, but all I could do was feel guilty that I had just enjoyed it and he’d missed out on it. He’ll never enjoy anything again and he loved life, had hobbies and was a well loved person. It feels like so much has been lost.
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@Chantell25
Im not 100 % but im sure if you need longer of work then the gp will sign you off, most bill companys will help you with your bills. Have you looked at whether you can claim employment support allowance to help top up your sick pay. Sorry i couldnt be more definite x