Sevens 77 definitely!! Take care all of you x
1 Like
@TJ14 . Thinking of you and your family today. I can so relate to the trauma of the machines being turned off. My lovely Pete donated 4 organs so 4 families had good news on the saddest day of our lives. The funeral was happy and sad, so many people there. My son delivered a funny and personal eulogy. Somehow i made it through and yes it was the same numb like state whilst he was in ITU. Take care
2 Likes
We had snow the day after john died (rarely snows here) all said it was him he loved snow had a few things since feathers in odd places his premium bonds that I resigned to being lost years ago appearing and last few days windows opening
1 Like
Thank you Dave13 and freefaller for your kind thoughts and wishes. It wasnāt easy saying goodbye again. My children were so brave and both spoke about their dad as I sobbed. It was good to see so many of his friends, family and colleagues from the bookshops heās worked in over the years , many of them I worked with too, 20 years ago. I just feel so tired, lonely and lost now.
1 Like
@TJ14 I know hun, I can tell he was a wonderful man and he had my favorite jod I have always loved reading books I remember reading Treasure Island when I was 8 or 9 I love books. But ended up as a bricklayer lol I went after the money but always loved libraryās always got an open book. I wish I could tell you the worst part is over hun but I cannot lie to you sorry. At least you have your children Mine all have their own families to look after I am a great grandad now lol. But when they go home I am still alone. I do hope its better for you love. Take each day as it comes hun and I will always be here for you as a friend who understands. So sorry for your loss. Dave
1 Like
@TJ14 @Dave13 . The day after the funeral can be a strange day. You try so hard for your kids on the day of the funeral and the next day let it all out. Thursday was my lovely Peteās birthday, the day he was retiring. I was in the same mode as the funeral , stoic, but crashed and burned yesterday. My 3 children and 6 of my grandchildren went to our (small) holiday home in Devon. It was a squash but the kids all under 10 went crabbing , paddle boarding swimming. My Pete would have loved it. For me it was bitter sweet. I wanted him there to share in seeing our lovely family have fun together. We went to his favourite bench on the golf course overlooking the sea - a beautiful spot and one he loved. We talked about him and planted forget me nots. I feel drained but i am trying to create new neural pathways. When i have lovely memories i try to be happy not sad. Its hard and doesnāt always work. I just want him here.
3 Likes
@Freefaller hi again hun. Its my Sueās birthday next Thursday 8 june the first one since she has passed I have a card for her but no-one else will see it. My sisters have all invited me out for a meal but I told them all no I just want to be left alone that day just me and my Sueās memory in the house I built for us both. They told me the house is too big for just me and to get rid and start fresh but every room in our house is full of my Sue I know its hard to keep clean but I have a cleaner 2 or 3 days a week so I manage. They call it Sueās Shrine lol but basically I suppose they are right. We both love this house and when I leave I will be in a box. 20 weeks ago tomorrow Sunday my Sue passed. Only people on here understand this. My Sue went through so much. But she always found a smile for me. Dave
2 Likes
@Dave13 sending love for next week birthdaus are hard. Its our 47th wedding anniversary on 12th June another hard day. But i will try to think positive and happy thoughts of our life together since we were 15 and 17.
1 Like
@Freefaller hi hunny how are you I managed to get through my Sueās birthday. And was wondering how you are I do realise it would have been your anniversary today so was thinking of you. Take care Dave
@Dave13 , yesterday was difficult, but my lovely friend of 50 years came to Devon with me for the weekend. She took me out to lunch and we sat out on the deck reading after. It was as nice a day as it could be in the circumstances. Thank you so much for asking these firsts are tough arenāt they.?Fathers day to get through on Sunday now. Take care
1 Like
12 weeks today 
feeling worse than ever these last two days , my heart is pumping out of my chest & that constant sick feeling in my stomach is back as soon as I wake up . I miss him so much 
4 Likes
Hi sorry to bother you. We spoke over 12 months ago and I felt a silent connection with you. I was wondering how you are doing I do hope you are getting on with your life. Alas my life has stopped since I lost my Sue on 15 Jan 2023. My Sue was housebound and even now I hate to go out my Sue is everywhere in our home so I hate to go out and leave her alone thank god for Asda deliveryās and online banking lol. Sorry you need to get on with your life. I do wish you well. Dave
Hi Dave
Iām sorry to hear you are still struggling so much 
itās definitely a difficult journey we are all on isnāt it . I sometimes wonder how Iām still here after the 2023 I had that rolled into 2024 !!
Iām doing ok . I still miss Bry everyday and still cry every day but Iām lucky with my friend circle & I just think today could be my last day & thatās ok if it is , if there is something beyond this then Iād be with Bry again and that would be amazing , but for now I try to live each day as if it was my last & try to enjoy it as best I can
Hi. I wish I could believe in a next life. If there was my Sue would have been in touch somehow. All I have now after my death is forgetfulness and
non -existence and when my children die no-one to remember the love we once shared. Thank you for replying take care Dave.
I would my darling but im 70 lost my darling wife nearly 20 months ago i know what you mean
1 Like
I know what you mean about after life I try to believe/hope thereās something but like you , I know for sure I would have felt Bry with me . I did have a dream ( a visitation one I think they call it ) about Bry where he spoke to me , I woke feeling terribly sad but a little at peace too .
You are right about when we go though & my kids are still not speaking which breaks my heart . I donāt want to leave this world knowing they wonāt have each other
You take care x
@PollyjaneW I have a reoccurring dream about my Sue its not nice. But I know my Sue loved me and she would not do it. And its not guilt I did everything for my Sue. She fought so hard to stay. in the end she was in a coma I held her hand and told her her body was broken to let go and I would join her shortlyā¦She did the next day. She is so perfect.
2 Likes
She was obviously very loved by you 