Oh Louise1951 I too am having mega tears this afternoon.
Thinking if you and sending hugs. Xx
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Oh Roni, feels like you almost read my thoughts.
This awful daily grind of making it through another lonely day of sobbing and wishing you could turn back time and somehow change everything. The idea that one day I wont feel this terrible gut wrenching emptiness seems so unlikely. I dont think of the future anymore just get myself through one day at a time. Best wishes to all of you
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Love to all who posted, at least we know we are not alone in being alone
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Thank you x
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Well said…
I’ve been doing pointless life chores since last September,when I lost my wife of 8 weeks…
Purpose has gone now and I just trundle along…
Garden is a mess compared to what it once was…I really don’t care…!!!
So we are all in this together,those who post on this forum.
The words I read on here do give some comfort…but we all know what we want…!!!
I wish you well travelling down this path that you never chose.
Hope you find some peace.!!!
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I thought I was coping really well and I am two years without my husband. Most days I go out for coffee and chat to friends.
I have some really good days but then bad days follow, and sometimes I wish I did not have the good days because I know what comes next. I am sitting hear crying now as I just finding things hard, the grief never goes away.
Take care x
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Im nearly 18 months into this and i was just saying to my daughter today im the same … have good days and then back down i go to a bad day !! You know youre gonna come out of the other side - bit still it hurts doesnt it xx
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Today has been a total mixture of emotions.
I have had better moments when I went out with a friend and really tough ones.
I brought my husband’s ashes home yesterday. I coped quite well coming home with him by my side.
Today I sat in an armchair he would use whilst reading a book, one of the cats on his lap. I had the casket on my lap and cried so much, I even screamed because I wanted him back. The pain was so great as was the feeling of hopelessness.
I suppose this is another point on this journey, getting the death certificate, arranging the funeral, attending the funeral, now bringing the ashes home.
Thank you for letting me share this with you.
Sending all of you hugs and love,
Rose xx
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I couldn’t carry his ashes. The thought of him in that box was just too overwhelming. I’m just waiting for my new garden to be finished to put him around the base of an old olive tree, which is what he wanted. My own ashes will go there later so that we are together forever.
It’s been nearly a year. His watch and glasses are still on top of his book on his bedside table and his bookmark still marks the last page he read. I will never move those. It’s him and he is still beside me.
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The thought that of my wonderful husband being in the casket tore me apart.
It really broke me.
His glasses are next to the armchair as is the last book he was reading.
We never discussed funerals or what to do with ashes. So I don’t know if he had wishes but I really don’t think he did.
I hope in time I will return to my thoughts and feelings of yesterday, that he is now at home where he belongs.
I am not ready to let go of anything that belonged to him. I don’t know if I ever will.
Thinking of everyone on this horrendous journey
Rose xx
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I found out at the weekend that Steve’s ashes are still at the undertakers. His funeral was 3 months ago. His brother has told Steve’s daughter that they can be picked up, but she hasn’t. I’ve offered to collect them and keep them at mine until they decide what to do, but nobody will make a decision. I hate the thought of him being in a cupboard with a load of other urns. Steve didn’t believe in anything and said “when you’re dead, you’re dead”, but I am a Christian. It’s bugging me but I don’t feel that I can say any more about it.
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Is there anybody else in his family you could reach out to ? I dont like idea of his ashes still being there either. I hope you can sort something … flipping heck you were his girlfriend … bit of respect please … tell.them again you will have them for now too …its awful -
xx
Thanks. It’s reassuring to know it isn’t just me making a fuss. I will leave it a couple of more days then contact his brother again. No, there isn’t anyone else involved I can speak to.
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Yeh leave it a bit and then try again. I totally get what you mean because when i went to collect my husbands ashes it gave me a lot of comfort and theyre still here … 
x
Please take some strength knowing that myself and others share your sadness…
You’re not alone in feelings…
Take care.
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I am thinking of you RoseGarden, I hope you have some family and friends near you to support you. I will be going to pick David’s ashes up tomorrow…how terribly terribly sad for us all on here.
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Hi @RoseGarden I have my husband’s ashes at home with me. My husband was a big strong man and now to think that’s all that’s left of him is hard to come to terms with. Sometimes I have to hide them away as I find it difficult to look at. Then feel gulity and get them out again. I know my husband would be saying “what are you doing woman?” I have taken some of my husband’s clothes and shoes (new things he never got round to wearing) to the charity shop. Still have everything else. May be one day I will go through everything else. Who knows? Sending love to you.X
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It’s 12 months for me and his glasses and book he was reading are still on the coffee table they will be there forever.I don’t care if people think I’m weird they are very comforting for me.
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It’s strange how comforting that is. Paul had stolen my book to read before me. I’ve left his bookmark in it and bought another copy for me to read.
I still can’t sleep on his side of the bed but I sleep in his T shirts.
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Hi @Loobyloo2 ,
I totally understand your feelings about the ashes.
I don’t know if I wrote that I put the casket in a room which is meant to be my ‘workroom’ .
He used to sit in its armchair. So that’s where the casket is. The door is shut but I can go in as and when I feel I want or need to.
It is another sad and testing step on the journey.
Thank you so much for your replies they really help!
Sending really big hugs and much love,
Rose xx
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