Since loosing my beloved 6 months age i cry most nights and when i come home from work the worst time is first thing in the morning and last thing at night . I feel so sad i miss my beloved so much.
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Im so sorry for your loss.
I know exactly how you feel.
And everyone on here will feel the same.
We are all here to listen and support each other.
You are not alone, we are here x
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Thank you for you reply.
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Thanks it means a lot to me.
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I feel so lost without my beloved this friday 26th would be six months to the day my beloved passed away. I still feel so sad. Today i was still expecting him to come home through the door . I cried as feel so sad he isn’t here 
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Oh @Duk45
It was 5 months last Tuesday for me.
It doesn’t get any easier does it?
The constant yearning for what we can’t have.
I am coping and people tell me I’m doing well, and I’m very strong.
They don’t see me crying and feel the psin that never goes and the constant missing him 
Love and hugs
Liz x x
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I lost my man to a brutal 15 month fight with Leukemia. 23 days ago. His funeral was on Wednesday. Im so lost. I really don’t know how im ever going to feel less alone. My boss said that bits done now, and i need to start to heal myself. How? Ive lost so much weight, cant sleep. This is so sad, and its hurting every minute of the day im sorry for everyone who signed up to this community! Xx
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Hi @Shellbells
I’m sending you a big hug.
Your boss doesn’t know what he/she is talking about . They’ve obviously never been throught this.
It’s very early days for you and you need to take one day at a time. I know that in the period after the funeral it felt like I was back at the beginning.
You will improve gradually and one day you will realise you are coping. But it will take time
You are not alone. We’re all here x
Thank you for the hug.
I did really want to scream at my boss yesterday. Harry my partner started end of life care on 10th of June, and we got him home to die. I was with him every step and until he finally slipped away in my arms on the 3rd of July. Im devastated and im so broken. I cry all the time, not sure where i need to go.xx
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Its such early days for you. You need to let it go. Cry if you want, scream if you want. There is no right or wrong way.
I write to Roger every night and I find that helps. It keeps a connection. I just tell him what I’ve been doing and how much I miss him, I even ask him things, just as if I’m talkng to him. I very often cry as I’m writing but thats ok.
Do you have any family or friends you can reach out to. Try and get out everyday if only for a walk, it helps to do things.
We’re all here when you need us
Love and hugs
Liz x x
Hi Liz
I do have friends and family, they have been very supportive.
But i feel a burden to everyone around me. I just want the only person back that i can’t have.
I will take the strength from your words to get me through today.
I might try starting writing to Harry, it may help.
Thank you for replying Liz
Means a lot
Shelley xx,
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I know what you mean about feeling a burden. But I think it’s us that feel that not them.
I do hope writing to Harry helps. It definitely helps me, but we’re not all the same are we?
Yes I know what you mean, the one that can help us, the one we need. Is the one we can’t have. Its a tough journey now.
Love and hugs Shelley
Liz x x
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How long have you been on this Journey Liz? Xx
Just having someone going through the same thing as me is helping
I hope im not being intrusive?
Hugs
Shelley
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You’re not being intrusive at all Shelley.
Its 22 weeks today.
Friday is not a good day for me. Like you I was holding Roger as he died.
I won’t try and tell you it gets any easier but gradually you will realise that you are starting to cope.
I still cry every day and I know I will miss him forever.
But he wanted me to go on living and I promised him I’d be ok. So somehow I must. And I will but its hard.
You will get stronger
Love and hugs
Liz x x
Bless you, i struggle with Fridays, as Harry would come to my house at 2.30 after work, and our weekends would begin!. Since he was taken ill, i spent the last 15 months by his side at hospitals, get him through the chemo (very tough for patients) and then just hope he would get through each day. Im so sorry Liz, knowing that you are in the same pain as me. Its just so very sad and the feelings of being lost is so overwhelming.
Xx
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Thise feeling are overwhelming i lost my husband Gra 6 weeks this coming Sunday, its so hard to put one foot in front of another at the moment. I feel exhausted all the time but sleep avails me , i cry all the time. I cant imagine going on with this pain its unbearably lonely. I dont have a good support net work , i am very much alone. I struggle with again and panic attacks so cant even join social groups.xxx
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Hi Shelley.
Do you mind me asking how long you were together. Not that it matters 1 year or 100 the pain is still the same.
We were together for 42 years, married for the last 12. The best day of our lives, Roger is beaming so much in the photos, he was so happy. And so was I.
It was a second marriage for both of us.
We only knew Roger was so ill for 6 weeks, although he hadn’t been right for while. It all happened so quickly I didn’t have time to process it. But I don’t think there would ever have been enough time.
I almost managed to distract myself today but at 1.15, the time Roger left me ‘Band of Gold’ was playing on the radio, talk about timing
I hope you have at least a reasonable afternoon. Remember it’s ok to cry, and its ok to grieve. Anyone who says different hasn’t got a clue.
You will be ok, it’ll just take time
Love and big hugs
Liz x x
Hi @Shellbells
I’m so sorry to hear about your partner, Harry, and how you’re feeling. It sounds like things are very tough right now, but it’s good to hear that you are finding this community a support.
I noticed you mentioned wanting to write to Harry, so I’m just sharing that Sue Ryder offers a free online grief support website called Grief Guide with a journal function.
Please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone 
Take care,
Kate
Sue Ryder Online Community team
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Hi Liz
I was with Harry for 23 year years, he had previously been married with 3 very lovely children.
Harry was 15 years older than me, ive just turned 50, he never even made it to retirement (so sad)
Im so sorry Roger left you, but you got through another 1.15, and thats an achievement so welldone you.
Im past caring now of how people think we should be handling this situation, because they are not in it!, and i do not wish anyone to feel the way we do.
There will be never enough time to process our loved ones being ill, i cant say if 15 months or 6 weeks in your case could ever prepare us for the loss we feel today.
Ive cried alot today, but im extremely tired so hopefully i will get a few hours sleep!
Keep strong Liz, always here to hel9, like you have me today
Hugs xxx
Shelley
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Thanks Shelley, I appreciate that.
Roger was 10 years older than me. He had 3 boys from his first marriage. 2 are lovely.
Roger was 81 but seemed so much younger, he was always active. This time last year he’d have been on someone’s roof or cleaning their guttering, or gardening. No one believed his true age. He was always on the go, right up until last Christmas, when he became ill
Like you I let people get on with it now
It’s too draining to try and keep telling them.
I’m really tired today too, maybe its the weather. But hopefully we’ll both sleep tonight. It would be nice
Love and hugs
Liz x x