Sending a big hug x
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I feel like I am in a never ending nightmare. Every day I wake up and the pain starts again. I am 15 weeks into this horrible devastating journey. I just want to go to bed and never wake up again. I miss my husband so much, I can’t think of anything else other than the pain and loneliness of him not ever coming home again. I just cry all day, don’t want to eat, not sleeping I feel so empty and sad. Sorry I just need to get my sadness out and try to get some reassurance that this is going to get easier to live with xxx 
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I’m so sorry but I can’t give you any reassurance that things are going to get better soon. We here are all on this incredibly difficult journey that is grief.
There are good days, but many more bad days and carrying on is extremely hard, it seems almost impossible.
Please don’t ever apologise for feeling sad, we here all understand, we all know how you feel, because we are all going through it too.
I cry so much I can’t believe where the tears keep coming from, and there are many days I feel there’s no point in getting out of bed and carrying. But i force myself to, I force myself to get up and washed and dressed. I force myself to go out, even just to the shop. I try to speak to someone everyday. I don’t know if its helping but I know I’ve got to keep doing it and keep trying, because I know my husband would not have wanted me to give up, and I promised him I’d be ok. I don’t know how, but I know I have to try, for Roger.
Please take care and know you are not alone
Big hugs
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My husband was called Roger. He was the kindest most honourable human being I have ever come across.
Finding it difficult to think I will never see him again - as some else wrote - what’s the point in continuing - I’ve never been by myself and yet here we are 
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My Roger too was kind and caring, but he tried, and failed, to keep that side hidden, anyone that knew him knew he’d do anything to help anyone.
Like you I’ve never been alone, and I can’t pretend I’ll ever like it, or get used to it.
I try every day to find the point of continuing. Knowing how much it would hurt my family and friends, (and the fact that I’m a coward,) and the promise I made to Roger is what keeps me going.
I’m going to have counselling. I’m hoping that they can show me a way through this ever increasing pain
Take care
Big hugs
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There are counsellors and counsellors. I hope you have a good proactive one.
Let me know!
Yes I agree. But because I’m having it through the hospice and all the other staff I encountered were brilliant I hope their counsellors are too 
I think I’ve got to wait a few weeks before I get a date. But hopefully not too long
So sorry.
I totally understand. Today has been one of the hardest days for a long time.
Sharing on here means you are talking with others who fully understand.
People who understand your pain, heartache, disbelief, and loneliness are here with you. They don’t judge. They will listen.
Sending you a big hug x
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I had grief counselling from a specialist who had also lost a child with special needs and I truly believe it helped me, mostly because she knew how I felt,I hope the hospice gives you someone you can relate with as it really makes all the difference.cry when you need to,never apologise but please try and tell yourself there is a future for you.i think I speak for lots of people when I say our loved ones would not want us to waste our life,it doesn’t get easier just different.try and get out even if it’s just a walk to the end of your street,feel the sun on your face and speak to anyone you meet, sending 
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Thankyou @Foodgiver
I hope the counselling does help me as it did you.
I agree with everything you. Say I do get out most days and would have today if the wrathet hadn’t been so bad, but my daughter and son-,in-law came round so that broke the day up.
Sending you hugs
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So true. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. What’s the point in trying to make a new life without my husband?
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I know what you mean, but I’m sure he would be disappointed if you were to give up.
We all must make the best of things. It will take time to heal, but I feel positive, in my case, that things will work out just the way they are meant to .
We are all going the same way down this long road. I feel that I will see my wife again, and it will be quite the reunion !
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How lovely for you that you have a daughter. Sadly I don’t have any children so am alone.
Like you I also had counselling at the Hospice, the counsellor was delightful and was very good at listening. However I would suggest that you ask for some directional advice. Things which you can do to get yourself out of the trench, so to speak. It’s totally miserable and whilst everyone’s lives have carried on, ours have stopped. Hugs X
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@Alli2
Well I may be the only one here, I am 14mths on and I am going to tell you, yes it does get easier but you have to want it to. Last year I lost my hubby of 25yrs, my mum and my 15yr old dog, so multi bereavements, no family left and no children but there is hope, there is light and there is life. We all deal with it differently and at different stages but I can’t sit back and see someone in the early intense stages of grief and not offer some positivity and hope. You can let grief control you or you can control it. Life is all up’s and down’s but it’s how you respond that matters. You can either sink or swim and swim is an option so don’t ever discount it. You will move forwards when you are ready and in your own time. There are many people who stay stuck but you don’t have to, everyone has choices. Never give up
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I was offered 6 phone calls with a counsellor but unfortunately it didnt help me. Two months in, maybe it was just too soon and I don’t like speaking on the phone at the best of times which didn’t help! Lots of activities on offer to fill time but ultimately what I miss is spending time together doing nothing or being silly. Replacing that with an “activity” is just another thing on the huge and exhausting to do list. Just want to go to sleep and for it all to go away.
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@Cab it’s not going to go away though is it? We can’t change what has happened. We all miss being together with our loved one’s and doing things but we can wish our lives away wanting something we can no longer have. Sometimes we have to share some positivity and hope. Not everything has to be an exhausting to do list. Only we can change the life we now have
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I will get through this, I know I will. Just need to have a few more weeks of this exhausting wallowing. I can’t even do any exercise as I’m so tired, although I know it would do me good. Too tired atm.
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I get it that the only person who can help me to get a new life is me. But if I’m honest I i dont think i can get there. Well done to everyone that overcomes this, you are braver and stronger than me x
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this so resonated with me. I spent so many years caring for my husband who suddenly became unwell. I am not sure what do do with myself. It is so lonely and isolating, we have no kids, and my family lives far away. I moved to the UK because he wanted to come back and now I have no reason to be here and have no real connection. His family lives a few hrs away by plane but we are not that close
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Sending big hugs x
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