Festive period

What to do over the festive period now im on my own. Our daughter will invite me for dinner then she as her own things she does which in the past havent involved me and her dad. Now on my own im worried after dinner it will be back to a lonely home on my own :cry::cry:

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Yes the first festive period is always very hard but any time when family leave and I am on my own I find very hard, I just hate living alone and doubt I will ever get used to it.
But the thing is we have no choice we have to do it even though we don’t want to, I am proud that I have survived this long (18 months) without my husband being here and living on my own because I miss him so much and still cry most days but I am doing it I’m surviving for him because I know when my time comes I will be with him again xxx

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Georgi, without hurting our daughter id rather the festive period i just spend at ho.e on my own ( ive written that, but i know i dont really mean it) Just wished there was someone just say to me, come round mine for a few hrs, but everyone as their own lives and dont want a reminder (me) of what weve losted ( my hubby)

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Yes yesterday I was thinking that I don’t like Christmas. It has been two years since my husband died 18 Nov. Last two Christmas s have been very tough.
Just me and my son. I put his photo on the table the first time because like to say we are thinking about you and hated it
The second one was worse as I didn’t have the energy to get it all done. After a year of struggle. Now it is coming up again. Being lonely feels horrible. Christmas is such a stressor.

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I must admit I would rather stay home on my own too and pretend it is just another day. And if truth be told I am dreading it just as much as I did last year.

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Just dont know how ill get through the next hurdle , Christmas without him.
Hurdles done sine May 24 when we lost my hubby: his birthday, my birthday, holiday, flying without him. Just before Christmas. ive what will be our 14th Wedding Anniversary, which i know will be a struggle. Each day I feel the loneliness more, and try to do things, but all i seem to do is watch feel good movies, not sure it helps, but at the time it does.

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Yes I like escaping watching feel good movies to distract myself too. My cat died in second anniversary my husband died. That was last week. This week flooding to clear up outside.
Now feel lethargic after yesterday got out and cleaned a bit outside and went to widow’s weekly. They don’t call it that but I do as all widows.
No men.

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Yes, the Christmas holiday is coming with lots of parties and such. It will be my first without my husband in 26 years.

But, I am still putting up a decorated tree, wrapping gifts, going to mass and enjoying a meal with friends and family. It will be the first time I can listen to holiday music without complaints; my husband hated it.

I am not giving up Christmas, my favorite time of the year. I’ve given up enough and will give up ever more as long as I live. But, not Christmas. I will celebrate Jesus’ birth every year that I am here.

Do not deny yourself the joy of the season. Remember the reason and rejoice.

Much love.

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Enjoy what you can
But I have become disillusioned about it.
I am probably older than a lot of people on here so it changes.

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Its a case , we all cope differently, im like you, watch feel good movies, but i also try ( which is hard sometimes) not to think of my on my own, i get tearful. It maybe to soon for you but think about getting another cat/ dog/ bird for company. Xx

I am really scared of facing Christmas without my partner of 30 years for the first time, but there again I am either sad, lonely or scared most days. It may also be my sons last Christmas as he has terminal cancer diagnosis and we want to make it special for him and his children. So my large family will be spending Christmas day with me, so I need to dig deep and make the day special, which may (or may not) help!

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Were all in grief, and every hurdle is a challenge, but so sorry to hear about your son. You will find the strength from somewhere, we has moms cope but deep down were struggling. Have a happy day as you can do. xxxx

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As for getting another animal as suggested, it is too soon. When I have lost other pets as you do needed to wait.
I need space without to get used to it. Like I wouldn’t just replace my husband immediately.
But do pet other people’s pets. If it hasn’t for having the ginormous task of making my home suitable I might invite people over. But the thought of the stress is too much.
Suppose could attend church on Christmas day but it isn’t on a Sunday this year.
All families for three quarters of an hour.
Then embarrassing people pity looks.
I wouldn’t want to be invited out of pity

I’m in the same boat my husband died last November and it was all a blurr this year I am alone after 30 years so I feel the same as you I’m here on Xmas day if you need a chat x :heart:

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I am also on my own following my beautiful wife passing 2 years ago. I think about her constantly. Nothing and no one will ever replace her.
My only saving grace has been a little Cavalier dog who is now my constant companion. Not a replacement, but a faithful friend
I now volunteer at the Hospice where my wife passed away which gives me some satisfaction.
Despite having family, I will not be part of a family at Christmas.

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I do admire your volunteer role at the hospice. I could do the same at the care home where my wife spent her last days but it would bring back too many memories I think. Her chair, her room, the sun lounge where she enjoyed so many restful days.

I know what you mean about Christmas. I worry that the loneliness that I’m feeling now will get worse as years go by. No one could take her place and I miss her company so much even when she had dementia. Is that desperation or what? I just know I’m scared for my future alone.

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I’m spending Christmas alone this year, so I’m happy to chat if anyone else is alone. X

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Maybe you could start a new Christmas tradition and invite people to your home at Christmas to share the celebrations with you.
If you like cooking make a lovely Christmas meal if not what about a buffet table. Ask your Daughter to come but let her know it’s ok to then go off and do something else she likes after Dinner.
Whatever you do I hope you find peace and some enjoyment x

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Peter 11, my husband also died from dementia, May this year, although he didnt say much, it was still his company i miss, we held hands all the while and were inseperable. I m going to our daughters for Christmas dinner as normal, cooking the turkey for them has was our contribution to the Christmas meal, but that will be just a couple of hr, so not looking forward to that… but i wish each and everyone the best you can have Christmas day xx̌

I went to my daughter for christmas day breakfast, then drove 3hrs to my other daughters for late lunch and 2 hours from her house up to my sons for boxing day last year.
Ive told them i can’t do it this year as i am having weekly Chemotherapy but for them to spend it at home with their own small children ( i may not feel up to visitors or anyone with a cold) we will do christmas lunch in Feb when my treatment ends.