I lost the love of my life in march this year ,I would live in mud hut she to hold her hand ,I miss her so much people say its gets easier well im noot feeling that this is called grieving it noot its torture .
I she was 53 years old when she passed away i would swap places with her know to get rid of feeling like this ,we had 35 years of bliss ,we never had any money problems very successful business but i would rather have nothing and have her back it all means nothing to me ,i wrote a poem which im going to share
I wake in the morning your not there the side of your bed is bare
i so much want to hold you tight and tell you everything will be right but i cant
i have loads of thing i wont to say and make the pain and hurt away but i cant
i want to tell you how i feel and tell you that this is not real but i cant
so until we meet again i will carry the pain rip my precious love
Dear Sonia
So sorry for your loss. We have so many challenges to deal with but now face these alone. I agree that instead of coming out with platitudes it would be better if people said nothing. We need to know that we have real support and it hurts when people do not deliver on .
what they said they would do.
I too am dreading Christmas - it will be the second since my husband died. I will do the tree etc for our grandsonās and I will do a meal probably on Boxing Day. Have started the shopping for the grandsonās presents now as I do not want to be around the shops leading up to Christmas.
I will be thinking of you on Wednesday.
Sheila x
I identify with everything you say. My husband was 50. I thought we had so many more years left. Now I probably do, but alone. I canāt ease my kids pain and I canāt make it right. I too would live in a cardboard box to have him by my side. I canāt cope without him and I dread the number of years I will have to without him by my side.
Dear @Sheila26
As Sonia82 says, I would rather folk didnāt offer help if they donāt mean it. So many things Iāve asked for help with but I have now stopped asking.
Like your husband Sheila, my husband was always helping folk, putting others before his own leisure time. He would be angry that Iām being treated like this, but Iām not going to play the victim Iāll work around whatever needs done.
Dear Jen: Stop feeling guilty. I lost my husband through my own stupidity. He died last October from Covid. He wanted to have his daughters and grandchildren over for dinner. Did we stop and think that they might have been exposed to Covid and being with them is dangerous? Even I didnāt think about it. So 3 weeks later he was dead. I should have said NO to kids visiting. I knew better. Why didnāt I stop him? If I let guilt consume me, Iāll die. I have to believe it was his time to go. Try to move on. Donāt let guilt eat away at you. Just losing him and trying to survive is hard enough.
Barbara
Dear Maigret
Youāre right. And I now too have stopped asking. I have managed to get quotes for some of the jobs the problem now is trying to get them to turn up to do them. Fingers-crossed that the roofers turn up tomorrow as things are now getting damaged in the garage - these are all things that my husband held dear but I have no where else to store them.
I too am finding that everything is going wrong my Fennis was a skilled joiner had a big workshop bottom of garden a week after he passed the roof leaked then the door broke then my fences all needed mending. All jobs he would have done himself. I can hardly walk do have to stay by the street door when someone is coming finding things so stressful have hospital appointments my daughter has taken me to some but she canāt keep
Getting the time off from work and had her own family commitments feel like I am a burden dintvteslkyceant to be here at alleill be one year since Dennis passed on Christmas Day
Hugs to all. Sonia
Dear Sheila
My husband would have been able to go straight to the garage and fixed most of the repairs that me and our son have faced. Same with the car, I left that to my husband. I do not know how to change a tyre or check tyre pressures. I am planning on booking it into Kwikfit or Halfords to do as part of their offer on āwinter checksā but again expense that I cannot afford but out of necessity to safeguard our grandsonās it has to be done.
I can relate to one job at a time and that was what I had hoped to do but having been let down by both neighbours and then tradesmen I will have to go with when the current contractors are available. Our son is off this week so perhaps a good thing cos I can call him if things get a bit sticky at any point.
My central heating wonāt come on today! This is the sort of thing I wouldnāt have needed to get involved with. Iāve looked on you tube at the most obvious things for my combi boiler. Spoke to a friend of my husbands who serviced it last time but heās on holiday in Portugal! Guess I will have to wait till heās home. 
Hi is the boiler giving a message (code) on the display? Is the water level ok? Sorry I know questions you have already considered but I had something similar on Christmas Day and it sent me into a melt-down. I now have the British Gas boiler care.
Sorry for spelling mistakes should read Just donāt want to be here
Dear Sonia
This journey is so hard. Please keep posting. We keep each other afloat because we can relate and understand.
xxxx
Thanks Sheila. The only code on it is Eco. Iāve still got hot water. Carol B.
I had no central heating then realised I hadnāt turned the thermostat up OR the radiators on. They had all been off since last spring and I hadnāt even realised. Itās the little things that I seem incapable of thinking of. I go into a room and look for something. I donāt see it even though I later find it was there all the time. I look but I donāt see. My concentration has gone because Iām always thinking of Vic. However I actually smiled at something silly yesterday. It was the first time I had smiled in six months.
Hi Lonely, you are very wise not to give them the money. A good firm will be able to fund the initial work. What a minefield this all is. Carol B.
Dear Sheila
My roofers have turned up and started the job. They have not asked for any money upfront and like yourself I would not be prepared to pay out. A local charity has just lost Ā£3k having given it to a supposed āelectricianā for the materials and he has done a runner. The police are involved and hopefully they will get the monies returned. But just goes to show that they will fleece anyone and any organisation.
Take care. Hopefully you will get the roof and a reputable contractor sorted soon.
Sheila xxx
I found a plumber through Check a trade. You enter your job and get a few quotes. You donāt have to accept any but if the tradesmen want to continue getting leads they will do the job properly and for a reasonable price. They rely on good reviews.
Hi Lonely. Iām curious to find out if the U K. has āhome warrantyā companies that cover those particular āhomeā expenses not covered by your āhouseā insurance company.
Dear @Lonely
I have visions of you climbing a .ladder to repair your roof & it gives me the shudders!
Have you looked at this website for leads/help?
Apologies if you have mentioned this previously, I may have missed it.
Up here our local social services can send out handyman to do minor fixes, I didnāt know this until I started looking after my elderly aunt.
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/about-us/what-we-do/age-uk-business-directory/
If the search function results donāt come back with a company, you can phone ageuk for help on 0800 011 4643
So sorry you have to go through all this on top of everything else you have to deal with. Wish there was an easy solution. Stay strong.
Barbara