First Christmas without my husband

Coping with bereavement
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Thanks for your kind words :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I am feeling exactly like you and have the children and Grandchildren who have bought me a magnificent real tree and put decorations up for me last night, but God it hurts. I didn’t think Christmas would affect me so much as Ian was such a Scrooge, but that’s what I miss, the haggle over everything I wanted for Christmas :pensive:

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Thank you x

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Hello I feel the same lost my husband in may as you say have to carry on for out children it is tough same as you my two grandsons have been reason to carry on going to be so tough getting through Christmas on my own and for them also not sure how we will get through life is so hard and lonely with out our partners take care guess we have to find strength to get throw xx

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Hello everyone, Sorry we are all feeling as we do, while we watch life carry on around us, it is hard, seeing the trees, the lights, hearing festive songs and peoples happy moods, and yes, I feel its the build up to it rather than the actual day that will be be hardest.

This will be my first Christmas without my husband and soul mate, Chris, (five and half mths) and I miss him tremendously, I have been trying as hard as I can to carry on in his honor, not easy, I struggle daily, tears have been cried every day, but, I have my tree up decorated by my grandchildren, it looks lovely with its memory photo baubles, I’ve not put any other decorations out, not sure I will but the tree was very special to us as a couple so wanted that doing, to honour him.

I have also with the National Trust purchased to plant memory trees for this Christmas in his name, he was very handy and did a lot of wood turning and other wooden crafts, he knew his trees, so feel he will, be happy with my doing that, to honour him.

On Christmas eve at 7pm I will join in with all of you that are lighting your candles for our loved ones, then I will sit back and wait for it all to pass, no doubt the tears will fall, the memories both sad and happy will come and go, just as the day will, but lighting a candle will bring comfort knowing so many others are doing and feeling just the same, to honour him.

I’m not saying it will be easy because we all know different, but it will pass, I promised my husband I would carry on as best I can, so I am doing my best , then I can pat myself on the back and say I did it, In his honor, I got through my first Christmas without my husband.

Hugs Chrissy3

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Well done I agree with what you say we loved Christmas always had a real tree I am not putting one up this year just don’t feel I can cope with it all when I am here alone and I am not doing Christmas here it awful for us all only know how hard it is if you living it I have days when I don’t want to my daughter and son tell me we don’t have a choice well I guess not don’t want them to have double pain I will be thinking of you all when we light our candles the pain will be worse ever and tears will flow I will be on my own I think have to gong strength hugs to all reading this xxx

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Thank you Rose 45, It is a very painful time, I too will be alone at Christmas, I don’t want any company and thankfully haven’t had any objections from family, I will be thinking of you when we light our candles on Christmas eve, we will find the strength from somewhere to get through, we have to, bless you and your family.
Hugs Chrissy3.

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Thank you will have to find the strength to help us manage this new life take care xx

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I am taking part and have made a donation in my husband’s memory to the Great North Air Ambulance ‘Light up the Sky’ campaign. They could not save him but I know they did everything they could. As last year - meltdown on Christmas Eve if being honest - I will be taking food gifts to the local ambulance station.

I do like the idea of the National Trust plant a tree.

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We’ll done you ! It really makes my heart swell when in the midst of all this misery there are people like you who still try to help other people. Since I lost my husband Easter time I’ve been volunteering at the local drop in centre/food bank mainly for my own benefit to be around people but also to try to give something back. I know my darling John would be so proud 🥲.
Sending much love
Georgina

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Dear Georgie15

Thank you. It is only driven by grief and hope that supporting the GNAA they can perhaps prevent another family suffering as we are since my husband’s death. They have volunteer opportunities but at the moment I have to help look after our grandsons which is something my husband was meant to do only for his greatest wish to be taken from him. It is good that you have been able to take up a volunteering opportunity.

Hugs
Sheila

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Sheila 26
I’m not expecting to go unscathed over the holiday, I’m sure there will be quite a few melt downs, it’s normal, it’s what you’d expect for loving someone as much as we did, do, because that love doesn’t stop just because they are no longer with us in person,

I think it’s marvellous that you will be busy taking food gifts to your local ambulance station, I really admire you for thinking of others while suffering your own personal grief.

Take care Sheila, hugs to you.
Chrissy3

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Inspirational brave lady wish I felt strong

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I’m I the same position as you dreading it without my gorgeous husband and soulmate xx

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Oh bless you xx life just seems so unfair yet thousand are like us I will pray you struggle through I think it depends if there’s young children or not
It makes a huge difference

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Hi Anne grown up daughters and two grandchildren who don’t live close. Not doing Christmas this year as too painful. Life is so very different and not for the better💔

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I get that we’re not doing Christmas either this year it’s far to painful I get frustrated when others try to compare there pain to mine he was loved by the whole family but he’s still mine I hurt so so much

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Hi Anne
I lost my husband Easter time married 44 years and I know exactly what you feel. I’ve had a particularly tough day today, for no other reason than I feel so alone. My sons contact me daily and friends either ring or text me but nothing can cure this huge hole in my heart which I know will never mend. I’m alone in my lovely home and cannot believe this is it for me, my life going forward. Waves of sadness just wash over me and really catch me off guard, just when I think I’m making some progress.

Will this sadness ever end ? I think not I’m just going to have to live with it. I’ll never be the person I was before and I quite liked that happy go lucky person who never had a care in the world. I’ll just be this shell of a person who lives from one day to to the next putting on a brave face for the family but slowing dying inside.

Much love
Georgina

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Hi Georgina
Much like yourself, I lost my Husband just before Easter. We would have been married 38 years 10 days after his leaving me. Something you said resonated with me. Am I alone fir the rest of my life? He was such a huge character in everyone’s life, but was my soul mate. I miss laughing every day! He was so comical. The house is too quiet now.
Liz

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Hi Liz I can totally relate to you how does life get better after the loss of such a special loved husband and soul mate. Tears still fall daily. Try to stay strong we are all in it together xxxx

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