First Christmas without your child


Anyone out there who has just spent their first Christmas without your child. My daughter was 25 and passed away suddenly in August. It has been tough few days exhausting trying to deal with emotions and putting that brave face on. I want to be left alone to have that cry but I’m not sure other members of my family realise the pain and sadness I am feeling.

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I lost my 14 year son in July , first Christmas without my beautiful boy. The combination of the shock wearing off and the Christmas build up was awful, I found not decorating this year helped slightly so we could come home and block it out. I think I actually feel worse now , dreading going into a new year he won’t be part of.

Sending you lots of love as you remember your daughter , I never realised life could be so cruel


Hi Marley1,

I did decorate and tried to do the Christmas thing. My daughter loved Christmas. But like you dreading New Year’s Eve and leaving 2021 behind. Moving into 2022 is not something that will be easy and I’m not looking forward to it.

It is a very cruel path and probably a never ending one as we journey on through our grief. Thank you for replying it means a lot.



My son also loved Christmas , last year we made up some garlands for the stairs and door with decorations we picked and I just couldn’t bare it this year. He is my only child so just went for the gentler option for this year.

Be thinking of you at new year… you are so right this will be a never ending path. I hope as we travel the raw intense pain can become gentler to carry

Lots of love

Hi I lost my son 7th November suddenly no warning . We have come away for Christmas couldn’t bear to stay at home as he passed there . Dreading New Year’s Eve and the pain but I know that our children still live on in our hearts and memories so I hope we can find some comfort in 2022 xx

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So sad that so many others share this cruel grief, and all the same , sudden and unexpected. I don’t know if the shock will ever wear off fully.

Lots of love and hope that new year is gentle with you


Hi marley this life is very cruel i lost my son sam in april to sarcoma a rare cancer we found out 13 th jan he died at home he was just 25 our first xmas just awful i feel the pain getting worse .this site has just let me talk and we all in this horrible wicked place .dont be alone come on here .much love zoe xx

Hi mrs mac my son was 25 passed in april this wicked senseless world taking our babies is so wrong . Sending you love zoe xx

I lost my baby Noah a month after birth in May. The build up to Christmas was terrible but with 2 other kids( 4 & 6) I couldn’t cancel Christmas although I felt like it. The pride I have wrapping presents this year was filled with resentment. I just wanted to hibernate until it was all over. Now I’m dreading the new year although this year has been painful I feel we are leaving whatever part of him that remains behind.

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Much love to you and your son Zoe. So cruel this has happened to you him and all of us. It really does feel like it gets worse doesn’t it, I keep thinking it must be the shock wearing off. My son had an undiagnosed brain tumour. The doctors were treating him for stomach issues and then migraines but never expected this. Found the tumour after it was too late.

Lots of love to you

Hi Rosebud

So sorry for you and Noah. Life is so cruel, how are we meant to carry on into a new year without our beautiful children.

Lots of love to you

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Grief is like Glitter…
You can throw a handful of it in the air, but when you try to clean it up,
You will never get it all.

Even long after the event, you will still find glitter tucked in the corners.
It will always be there……somewhere.


Beautiful words thank u x

Hi rosebud im so sorry for the loss of your son .i know people say well you have other children . Noah is your child to . My daughter lost a little girl she was born at 24 weeks .they layed her in her arms she lived for two hours its so cruel her name is elsie . My daughter has three children she had another little girl after elsie .elsie died in 2017bshe is a big part of our life .you allow yourself to grieve .youve lost your beautiful son .thinking of you with love zoe xx

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I really hope baby elsie is now with uncle sam . He was my grandchildrens superhero .they saw him everyday this life is cruel how it damages beautiful familys xxx

Much love to you too. This life throws such awful things at us im dreading new year and like you i feel im shutting the door on sam i will never do that sam lived at home never went out only to his sister jess. Feel like half of me is missing .the fun the laughter cruel cruel road we are on xxx

That totally resonates with me Zoe , Lou was so homely and even more so with covid as he was home from school more over the last year. I just can’t get over how after loving and caring for our children everyday that they are not here anymore. He is the best part of my life …of me … the best 14 years. How can that end.

Hope the new year is gentle on you and Sam’s sister Jess


You to marley always here .your boy lou just a teenager what did he do its so wrong .my sam my world so cruel he had open heart surgery when born .his main hear valves round the wrong way we all survived that then they made our superhero leave us .he never he never moaned he was so amazin . Marley im always here . Jope this pain eases in time its just so hard thinking of you blowing kisses to our boys and all the other children that have been taken xxx

Thankyou for your lovely response. X

Thank you Zoe , you too. Life is so cruel … thinking of all our beautiful children