I feel the same
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I so sob as well nobody understands at all.
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Hello @Stradling, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I hope you find the community to be a support to you - most of our members have experienced the loss of a loved one and will be able to understand some of what you’re going through. You can access our Online Bereavement Counselling here: https://www.sueryder.org/online-bereavement-counselling
Thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences on this thread for supporting each other 
Thank you, it is so reassuring when people can identify with how your feeling They look at me strangely when I say I don’t know who I am any more But such a huge part of you goes with them that you lose who you actually were and you have try being this new person, if that makes sense.
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That makes perfect sense. I feel I’ve lost myself too, can’t tell my family though, they would just get even more upset and simply wouldn’t understand. That’s why I’m grateful for this site.
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I feel I’ve lost myself as well and I don’t know where I’d be without this site. It’s nearly 15 months now and I find everyone around me expects me to ‘be over it by now’, little do they know! Everyday is worse as it’s another one without my soulmate. So called friends have melted away and I can’t confide in family anymore, it’s been too long for them now.
It seems that only people who are in a similar situation can understand and are prepared to listen. I’ve recently found a local bereavement support group so at least I can speak openly with others there as I can on this site.
Julie x
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So reassuring to know I am not alone in how I feel I am trying to get back to some sort of normal life and started by clearing out the garage. Believe me this is no mean task as Ray was such a horder. The only trouble is it is taking me so long as I will come across something that will bring back special memories and the tears will flow again, but I am determined to finish it.
Julie you are so lucky to have found a local support group, there are very few left Covid saw to that. Now everyone still uses it as an excuse not to bother. Look after yourselves.X
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thanks everyone. my son has stopped speaking to me now do not know why
did ask for a lift to Norwich as he was going there but no and on Sat. he phoned
and I had pulled a muscle in the car and did not know how to get backhe said get a taxi and then I went into hospital emergency for the pain have not heard since
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Bless you it is so hard and families can be so difficult My son came round yesterday haven’t seen or heard from him for 2weeks! I don’t expect anything of anybody anymore. I realse it is a journey I have to go alone and not to rely on anyone.
I have days like today that I just want to give up. Our wedding photo is sat her on the breakfast bar and I know Ray would not want that so I must keep try despite everything.
The thought of winter approaching doesn’t help with the nights drawing in.
Finding this site is a blessing being able to share how I feel with like minded people. Just to know even 1 person understands helps. Stay strong we will get through X
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hhi
my son is not speaking to me for some reason and has been cruel to me in many ways I have to do everything myself (I am 83) and on Saturday he rang m
e from Norwich where he was on holidasy, he would not take me to visit my sister inlaw
whilst they were there (I would not want to be with him) and rang up to the church hall on the mobile to tell me that, I hhad an accident in that I had pulled a muscle and could not drive very well through the pain he sasid get a taxi that night I was taken to hospital granddauaghter told him but no response. my lovely David would be very angry and I am now so down my grandchildren have been wonderful
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thank you for your reply. my son has not contacted me he knows I went to hospital as an as emergfinjcy cxanot spell it I am heartbroken
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Good luck in that garage… it will be hard… Due to disability issues , I didnt live with my partner, and so I had a month to clear his flat when he died. Finding special things but not having time to really look at them and remember, this was really hard. I’ve been able to keep some stuff for now (my own room is full of boxes, with a walkway thro them!), but I feel sad that there wont be any surprises hidden away to surprise me in the future. So maybe when you find something special in that garage - take your time over it and appreciate the memory, however hard? Take a flask of tea down with you and open it for a break whenever you come across something special? Or maybe that’s tots unhelpful, if so ignore me., but as I said, best of luck to you anyway. Do you have a use for the garage space when it’s done?
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Bad day yesterday and just couldn’t get round to it. I have already made a start when I had my grandson with me, while he was on holuday. He kept the atmosphere light as talked about his grandad throughout.
I would like to put my car in the garage always did in our last house. But when we moved here nearly 8 years ago we ended up putting a lot of rubbish in the garage! Really we should of got rid of a lot of it at the time as not been touch since then!! Ray always thought things might come in useful and best to keep them, bless him.
Have not touched the house or gone through his clothes or anything his watch still sits on the bedside cabinet, it is just all to much. Good luck with everything, tiny steps.
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So sorry, my family are the same but they all have their own busy lives and work and try to makes excuses for them in my head. This does not help with the loneliness we are going through though. I know. sometimes I do not see a soul except for at work. Although 72 now I go in on a Saturday night just to see people, have worked there for over 20 years and my colleagues are more like family I was due to retire for good in March on my birthday but Ray passing the week before made me rethink. Bereavement is a lonely path to walk, people cannot cope with death so avoid it.
Take care, look after yourself.
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So sorry for everyone’s loss I have known my husband since I was 10 we dated when I was 16 had 2 beautiful girls got married had our son and a wonderful life he ended up in hospital in April and the day before our 24th wedding anniversary we were told he had leukemia they gave us hope saying he was young and fit and they would treat aggressively he had first round of chemo and lost his hair came out on 10th June for a week got taken in on father’s day and told its terminal had hope for a trial his cancer got worse and he came home end of July to end of life died 3 August and I feel like my heart has been ripped in too my best friend and soulmate my rock has gone and I have no idea what to do I can’t go in our room I sleep on the sofa everywhere I look he is there our family are supportive and my kids are amazing and they are grieving as they could not see there dad as often due to covid and him being in a closed ward till we were told he is now end of life he did not speak to me about dying as he was on so much pain relief he slept all the time and I feel so guilty I know he loved me as he would slap my arse and wink at me I miss his snoring his cuddles and him watching shit on tv
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Angie so sorry for your loss, I had been with my husband since I was 18. Tomorrow will be 6months since he passed and it will be our
53rd wedding anniversary on 27th It is so hard as part of us goes with them and we don’t feel the same anymore, I would like to say it gets easier but I am still finding it so very hard. I cry every single day and especially when I go to bed, after sharing with others I am reassured this is normal !. Be gentle with yourself, share your feelings with your children so they feel they can share with you! Take care tiny steps. X
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so sorry for your loss I know how it feels it gets lonely people do not understand
last Saturday I ended up in A & E having pulled a muscle and when I came home
it was so scary to be alone the pain was awful
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Debii
Knowhow you feel. I feel in the garden and thought I would not be able to get up, lucky I always have my phone with me. I did manage to get in the house, but scary now by myself.
Hope you have recovered
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Hi Angel 16
Your comment watching shit on tv made me smile . I used to get annoyed at the shit my husband watched on tv. I now wish I had not moaned so much and was sitting here watching shit on tc again…
Mary
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debbi
Sending you love
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