First post

Coping with bereavement
41

Hi Gary,

Personally only tried acupuncture for backache which never worked!!.
Why do you feel its too early?
Rickh

42

I think it’s too early because no matter how hard I try I can’t get into the right frame of mind. It’s still all very raw for me. I realise it’s my fault, I seem to be intent on punishing myself.
Gary

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43

Hi Gary123

You just have to take it one day at a time, when I think about last year its a bit of a blur. It’s just better when I’m busy and going to the gym has stopped me from going on antidepressants. But if I had done it last year it probably would not have worked. Little steps, hope this helps a little. Dawn

44

Thanks Dawn
It does help. Reading your messages makes me realise there will eventually be a way forward.
Gary

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45

I wouldn’t like to think of it as your fault!
It just takes time, it’s a process we have to go through all at different rates… yes baby steps… you’ll get there

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46

Dawn

I know we all have different coping mechanisms and the gym, not that I go! Sounds like a much better and more natural way than with the ad’s.
Sounds to me like you are growing in strength to get used to this!
Rickh

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48

Dear @Kath23
All credit to you that you were able to sit through the visit without screaming in ‘friends’ face how you felt.
On the plus side, the effort was made, your friend just doesn’t know what your world looks like now & won’t till her turn comes. My sister is same, but she always has been a bit too selfish. & so prone to saying the wrong thing., making suggestions sound like direct orders! Again, when her turn comes, I’ll be there for her & be as supportive and genuine as I can possibly can be. After all, she’ll have the fools around her telling her to get a hobby, a dog, a routine, a holiday etc etc etc
Wishing you strength when you need it, a hug when you need it & understanding now.

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49

I agree that until their turn comes, and it will that I’m afraid things don’t change.
I have learnt to only surround myself with friends that bring something positive to my life. I don’t mean materials things but rather support just being there.
Time is the best healer but you have to play a part.
I have experience total division within my immediate and extended family and friends all because of them all judging me for getting on with my life, in particular with a new partner, which in itself is an incredibly hard thing to deal with but what do they know.
I think it depends on you as to whether or not in time you’ll be bothered to share your precious time with them but I know I can’t nowadays.
And don’t make the mistake that I did for so long in expecting them to understand because they don’t.
Life goes on for all.

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