Today is my birthday, first one flying solo. My Sandie always used to joke that my birthday meant I was now 2 years older than her until her next birthday…this year I guess I’m 3 years older…and every year that passes I will be 1 more…just sort of hit me. Also, my birthday was the day we would put up the Xmas tree with sherry and mince pies…not happening …no tree this year…
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I know what you mean. I have my first birthday without Keef 2 weeks after Christmas, basically there’s Christmas Day on a Monday, then New Years Day on a Monday then my birthday the following Monday. Putting up decorations, which Keef never really liked doing, has proven to be somewhat problematic. It’s so difficult as these days leading up to birthdays and Christmas when everyone else seems to be happy. I’m supposed to be going out later for a Christmas meal but not sure if I want to now. Try and have an okay birthday, take the time to reflect on past birthdays and your happy memories of Sandie. Take care Gail xx
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Ahhh @UnityMan, sending hugs. I am dealing with our 6th anniversary. All the people I was due to see today have cried off. So lonely. I hope u have bought yourself a treat as its your birthday. I am sure in the quiet you will feel your lovely wifes spirit around you
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Sending you a hug for today .Its my partners on the 20th which will soon be here then Christmas the sooner it is over the better .ive had invitations for Christmas day but have declined ,i know i want to be on my own i will.chatter away to him like every day since April and am certain he will hear me .Also going to light a candel on Christmas eve and think of him and all the lonely friends on here we will be all feeling the same its so cruel.
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Oh thats sad i love talking about him to anyone who will listen xx
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Ive put my tree up … only because it was one of the last things my darling husband saw before he passed away ! Its so sad … its the saddest xmas i have ever had ! Last year i was just in shock as he passed away on 16th december ! Ive told my brat kids that im cancelling xmas though ! Ive had enough. Im not doing anything !!! No cards, no presents. And i dont want anything off them either ! They can bloody sod off !!!
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Oh Deb that’s so sad, I thought you were going to your daughter’s for Christmas Day dinner and you would see your granddaughter.
I know how you feel though if you would rather be on your own, as I do, and I know a lot of us on here are the same. I cannot pretend to be enjoying myself.
I have had a card today from a friend, made up of photographs of her holidays, saying what a wonderful year she has had. It’s half way to the bin! xx
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No im not going ! I cant do xmas … i just cant do it 
i cant pretend to be happy when im so sad … and i havent got the energy to get any presents or do anything this year ;( just forget it ! Its just another horrible day without the man we loved …
Oh jeez how tactless ! And yeh bin it !!
I want to be on my own i know it will be an horrendous day and i just carnt put a front on i will give my granchidren money xx
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Yeh thats what i will do … but im not talking to my children ! They have been a nightmare this year since their father passed away …
@Deb5, you will be better at home then with your thoughts of your dear husband. That’s all I want to do, I feel him here with me anyway, We can all do just as we like and write each other posts. xx
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@Deb5, Me neither. Had a dreadful day today, Christmas has really got to me now and I used to love it.
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So did i … loved it with my husband ! Such a happy time but i cant do it this year ! Last year i was numb with his passing on 16th december … i cant even remember what i did xmas day last year but life has played a cruel trick on us and taken our beloved away so im kicking back on life and it can go to hell !! X
I think we have all had our fill of christmas now .At least on Christmas day we we will all be feeling the same and we will support each other best we can xx
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Yeh so have i … had it up to the back teeth with it and the fake smiles and pretending to be happy … when youre not
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I dont see point of any of this at all ? All this suffering we have to go through , all this pain and for what ? For nothing apart from a load of grief from other people. My husband protected me from all the vipers … bless him … and now he cant because hes not here and its too tough for me … i cant do it … i cant go it alone … i only had 6 weeks to say goodbye to him - to the man i loved for 35 years ! xx
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