Thank you very much xx
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Im so sorry to hear about your wife. I suppose the comfort is in the 52 years of memories with her- and in your children. How are you generally holding up? Indeed, these times are lonely- it’s been amazing speaking to people on here. I hope you know that you can speak to anyone of us, at any time! Please do! Take care of yourself, and sending best wishes abd hugs to you x
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Thank you very much it can be very tough wishing you and your family well xx
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My partner had to go to the coroner as his death was unexpected. They couldn’t give a cause of death so I we were given an interim death certificate so we could have a funeral. They took some tissue samples and said we should get the cause of death in 4 - 6 months!!
@Marnie10 oh wow!!! God, thats awful. 4-6 months!! I hope you can get some sort of peace in the meantime. What im hating so much, is that in death…my Pav keeps being referred to in such a cold, robotic way- I’ve had blazing arguments with some “authorities” already. I really hope thats not the case for you!!x
MrsS2025
At Jacquie’s funeral we left the church to a song i had dedicated to her.
Wonderful Life by Alter Bridge. It told her exactly what i thought about her. A beautiful song for a beautiful lady.
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@MrsS2025 awww thank you for saying that it truly is a special song bring me to tears as do a lot of songs we loved music omg the birdy song linda threatened me with that or the ring ding ding frog song tune too i always had to be careful what i said if i said the words DONT YOU DARE only a few times before I learnt that hard lesson 
she was a little swine for getting me back if I uttered those words she made me some sandwiches for my lunch one day at work and there was something that happened and she said if you do that again i will cut your sandwiches up into little triangles and take the crusts off and make them so pretty i said those words i hadn’t realised but it was about 6 moths later at work and i thought it was odd that a few work colleagues were sitting with me that day and same time but didnt think any more off it so i opened my sandwiches she made me i did love the things she made me for my lunch doing 12 hour shifts anyway i opened them and there they were two slices neatly cut no crusts cucumber and pate with little edible flowers on and folded neat in foil with a julienne carrots and courgette slices with a little note saying enjoy my hubby to be everyone bust out laughing mind you i did say a few choice words lol but saw the funny side laughed all day got home and chased around the flat and garden ticked her feet she hated that but that was my linda all over and from that day i never dared to say those words sounds like you have a similar sense of humour to linda bless pav it funny sometimes seeing when they dont get it makes you laf more sometimes 
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Hello from Germany, Mannheim!
I can only say I’m sorry for your pain, I’m Tony and lost my wife on the 13th of February this year it’s been four months, after almost 41 years together, I’m going on 68 she was 68 when she died, at home in my arms, I couldn’t save her, I tried but she left me. All I can see is her last look and gasping for help, her eyes are constantly in my memory of those last minutes, when they took her from home she was as they told me brain dead, no blood was being pumped by her heart, I asked that they do all possible but they said she was gone. I stayed with her in the hospital and all I could do was admire her wonderful eyes and face, her hands and fingernails she was always proud of, I didn’t want to leave her there. Her funeral was on the 28th of February the day of her birthday. You have your daughter and I’m sure your bonding is greater, he would have loved and I’m sure he does want to see you happy, but I know it’s hard.
I too! Feel anger but it just started maybe because I have no one, we had no children
I’m the opposite? I’m scared to go into our bedroom and lay down on our bed, I can’t do it without taking a sleeping pill, I feel exhausted every day, my mind is a mess, I feel real pain in my heart, nerves are horrible and shake so much, anxiety attack daily, can’t eat! Her clothes and all we have surrounds me, can’t shower without seeing her things, I brake into tears everywhere, I run to churches in hope that a priest can save me! I feel no purpose in life, but you have one( your child ) please surround her/him with your and his love, let this effect ion provide you with strength, hug your child as you would have hugged him, kiss your child and picture his face as if you were kissing him, your child is your connection to him, you’re not alone.
I communicate through this system in search of help but I really don’t know if anyone reads my letters, please be safe in all you do, your child needs you, in your hearts you were married and your love will always be there, my moments of pain are lonely since I’m alone
Our lives have changed, we need to find peace
I’m also so confused
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@TM130225
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a terrible road we walk. I lost my soulmate in March 11weeks ago today. We were only 2 and a half years in our relationship but we both knew it was meant to be. He was my rock.
We didn’t live together but I can understand when you say that everything in your house reminds you of your wife. It must be difficult.
Keep writing on here, it might just help you especially if you have no one else to talk to.
Take care and know your wife is with you
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@TM130225 hi Tony i am so sorry to hear of your wife passing its a terrible cross your carrying now as we all are struggling in this our new life we never wanted i wish my beautiful Linda who passed 8th oct 2024 in my arms in hospital had just opened her eyes to let me see them one more time that horrid day id have loved to see them even to say see you later but no i didn’t get that im sorry that tortures you at least you were holding her close my friend my Linda too loved her nails and i used to paint her toe nails for her many times anger is part of it unfortunately it comes with this territory and i too am scared for what the future is i wish i was with her but im looking after her mum who is elderly and frail but struggling with the loss too of her daughter so much i have been int our local church despite my faith now having gone completely but to just find an answer we are all looking for WHY but of course there is never a reply our and my purpose is now gone as is part of ourselves and our hearts too this hurts a lot more than anything we have ever thought it could try take care my friend the days are long but night’s are even longer as are the weekends all the best
Martin 
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Guten Abend, Tony @TM130225
Wie geht es dir?
Im so very sorry to hear about your wife. My heart breaks for you- and i can only hope that the pain starts easing. Look after yourself x
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Sorry for lack of response @Martin64 …its been a bad week.
I love that story about your sandwiches!! Made me laugh out loud. I remember once video calling Pav at work…dude was a 6’6 barrister, so very serious. I video called in the middle of a meeting, deliberately, to say “hope all goes ok at work, sweetheart. Remember to put on your Tena pants this time so the boss doesnt make you wee yourself again. Ive got a soothing song…” and proceeded to sing twinkle twinkle to my “brave little soldier”
Even his boss phoned me to say “well played”
Pav was livid!!! But it was so worth it x
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@MrsS2025 that fine my lovely i get the bad weeks it would have been my dads birthday 1st june lostvdad feb 2021 and was dealing with that with my Linda’s support but now Lost my Linda oct last year its really hurting so i get it im so glad it made you laugh it does me still to this day too but that was my linds sense of humour good grief i miss that so much of that was too so funny what you did it had me laughing too i can imagine he was livid but love his bosses reaction priceless you have a great sense of humour by the sounds of it you sounded like chalk and cheese but it worked between you and pav thats all that matters these memories are special to us esp now thank you for making me laugh today with my dads birthday on my mind i needed that 
well i better think of heading to try sleep not that i get to have much now but ive been refered to the xray ct scan on my back and chest on the cancer pathway by my gp as my chest pain and back chest and shoulder has come back as I have a heart issue already they want to see why this pain has returned after 6 months it just appeared day after Linda’s funeral knocked me off my feet been getting better but its come back out of the blue 2 weeks ago so goto go this hospital that linda was in haven’t been since that horrid night i lost her so gona be not nice going tmoz between 9and 12 only wish me luck im gona be a wreck i think take care
Hope you get some sleep goodnight
Martin
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@Martin64 oh jeez…im so sorry. Dealing with the losses of both your dad and Linda is tough enough, but having your health worries on top of it all. I stand by my theory: the universe is mean, and can go suck it!!! You dont deserve to have more worries. I know it doesnt hold much weight, but, you can talk to me anytime! I sense a lot of similarities with you and linda to me and Pav. I really hope all goes well with your ct scan x
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My thoughts are with you @Mitzi1 how are you holding up? I know thats a silly question…i usually answer by saying “im absolutely dandy. In fact, I’ll do a tap dance to show you!” Yeah, sarcasm isnt the best idea.
Still, i do sincerely hope youre as well as can be x
@MrsS2025
Hi. I’m doing ok.
It’s a tough call but have to carry on as hard as it is. I seem to be getting used to being on my own again but I know I have friends n relatives I can call and during the week not too bad but weekends aren’t that great…
Made my pact to not cry after 9am n even though I swallow hard a few times in the day the tears stay put…!!!
I’m under no illusions though that they’ll come back tsunami style at some point.
How are you doing.
@MrsS2025 thank you for your kind words yep the universe really is mean were def finding that out alright it does hold weight i value your opinion thank you for that and being on here keeping me going some days as it more than likly is a lot of us and if you want talk or vent just give me a shout too yes it seems like that a small world as they say amazing how life send us of in directions we never expected to be traveling
if you and your pav had similar experiences as me and linda maybe it’s because linda was half Hungarian from her dads side but im glad you had that just not where we ended up as fate really is a cruel mistress sometimes thanks for the wishes on the scan had a phone call yest to book it its tmoz at 1:15 in a mobile unit they had one in hosp car park and one in the city centre in a big secluded car park so i opted for the latter don’t want to see that building anytime soon so pretty fast response fingers crossed hope today is ok for you if you have plans
i got a grief support walk around a nice place called Saltram house here at 3:30 today but thats it for me
Take care
Martin
@Martin64 how long do you have to wait for the results? Hopefully not too long, and im sincerely hoping for the best for you! Ive had health issues for years (had a stroke 8 years ago) and any waiting or delay with test results is awful- the worrying etc.
Linda was half hungarian? Pav was Ukrainian, and im half English half Norwegian. I told my daughter that shes just from a different planet lol.
But yeah…this site is helping to keep me going, for sure. Its been fantastic chatting, and ive liked chatting to you. Linda sounds absolutely awesome- and any time you want to chat, im listening 
Pav would likely say “Emma, you talk to much. Just please ssh”…but pfffft lol x
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Oh Emma that made me lol you saying pffft and your pav telling you to shh i wouldn’t dare say that to linda id get slap yep she always said when anyone asked where she from (as she hadnt got any accent despite being born in Barry wales good grief id be in so much trouble calling her welsh slap around the would be here about now ) 
she would say she was a heinz 57 assortment her words not mine cant get in trouble for that comment if she was here but yeah think lindas daughter is def from out this world too but she grown up married kids but really missing her mum
There a good mix then Ukraine Norwegian and english cool that sounds fun glad it worked well im hoping quick too on results the x rays were fast so they should be quick gp wants answers to this pain
yes its great group on here been massive help im happy you have found that too, ive liked our chats too least made each other laugh a little and as they say laughter is the best medicine I’m sorry you have had your health issues too I’ve only been diagnosed with my hears issue officially since 2019 but had issues before but nothing done about it but think with covid and stress of working through it trying to shield dad then plus dads cancer and losing him 2021 its prob aggravated it life kicks you when you down doesn’t it but no you don’t talk to much its nice to talk lol saying that but hope tonight is ok for you and you can get settled looking after your daughter is full time job in its own right yeah
hugs martin x
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Hey Martin @Martin64 how’s it going? Have you had your results yet?
That made me laugh, you saying about Linda would give you a slap! I think Pav wouldn’t ordinarily dare give me back chat- i only came up to his shoulder, but he knew full well to keep his behind in check! Linda was a Barry girl? I love Barry! Spend a lot of time in Wales- absolutely cracking!!
I’ve just got back from Pav’s funeral…not a good day. I sang “goodbye my lover” by james blunt, and played Piano. Personally, i hate James Blunt, but the song seemed to fit. I’m gonna do a john deacon now, and retire from music! Pav would have hated today- he didn’t like fuss. He was also a 6’6 giant man-baby, and would have whinged about something or the other. Our daughter, Daisy, handled it really well. Too much for a 4 year old to deal with really, but she was amazing. She even said “by the way, your team still sucks” as she walked past the coffin- so i did kinda smile. We’re football people- him, tottenham. Me, Manchester united. So we’d often argue and bicker about that!
I hope you’ve had a decent week!
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