Hi my friends on this site
I had to go to hospital today to have some cysts removed from two fingers in my right-hand. I had to have general anaesthetic.
When I was coming round, teary , and ofcourse first person I thought off was my Phil. I actually forgot for a second that he was dead. Then I remembered and bawled my eyes out .
My friend collected me, and brought me home. Sheās gone now.
So home alone ( lied at the hospital that I would have an adult with me overnight!)
But had to be home for our two little dogs.
So not quite aloneā¦I have my two little guardian angels in fluffy white coats
@Cathphil I canāt imagine how difficult that must have been for you without your husband. The loss of a partner affects so much more than what people think. Sending lots of hugs. Xx
Hi Cathphil
You couldnāt have better than your two little guardians angels in fluffy white coats. I feel the same about my two. I was in hospital just after losing my husband and apart from not having him I also cried because I wanted to get home to my ābabiesā. I had someone walking and feeding them but they wouldnāt know where their Mum was and they had just lost their Dad. I needed to be with them. I also lied and got out of there. The last place we want to be when grieving is in hospital.
Anyway hope your coping alright and on the mend.
Pat
xxx
Dear @Pattidot
Thank you so much for your lovely , understanding reply .
It is really appreciated.
What breed are your two?
Mine are both Bichons. An 8 year old who is big type grieving too, and a puppy. He and my Phil only got to spend 12 days together
Dear Lonely
Thank you for your lovely, kind and understanding reply.
Itās what makes this site so special.
We know thereās people just like us.
Lots of love
Ps as you know Iāve been reading your replies on other feedsā¦perhaps you should get a dog (or invent one!) they are also perfect excuses for getting out of invitations.
One of the first things I realised after Penny died, was that its important for me to āget out thereā and meet new people who sometimes become new friends. Very rarely have new people come looking for me. I now have a lot more ānewā friends than old ones.
Thankyou @Lonely. I might have inadvertently given the impression that Iām out there āon the pullā. Ive never been confident doing that, particularly in my youth. Luckily, my wife āpulledā me, which amazed me.
I just get out where people are and it either happens or doesnt.
I have been accused of creating a harem because I now have two female friends, but Im not sure that two can constitute a harem! Anyway we established within a few minutes that we are never ever going to be more than friends, so no stress.
Good luck to you as well. I know Yorkshire lasses can do whatever they want, I married one!!
My first harem member appeared when I was in Bakewell on a stinking hot day, like today, and I stopped at a pavement cafe. There was precious little shade, but there was on small table under a wisteria, and harem 1 was alone at it. I asked if I could join her, and she said yes. We got chatting, as you do, mainly because one of my little poochons wanted to climb up and sit on her knee. We chatted, she realised I was suffering with grief, and just said āwell, how do you now want your life to be?ā So I got a napkin and wrote a description of what I wanted it to be.
Apologies: this is in danger of becoming like a Mills and Boon!
She said Ive never met a man like you, I wasnt sure if this was a compliment or criticism. Any road up, she gave me her Facebook contact, told me she never wants another husband, and now we meet up every month for a walk and pub lunch, and chat on the phone or messenger. So she pulled! The first time its happened to me in 51 years!
So time for a moral from this: there are loads of people out there who would love to be our friends, its a two way thing, but you have to be there for it to happen! Having a poochon or two with you really helps!
Sorry, once I get writing, I find it difficult to stop. Time for lunch!
Hello my friends hereā¦
Sitting at home with one hand all bandaged up, (and getting better at typing left handed!) with my two little gaurdian angels in fluffy white coats.
Just wishing and wishing my husband was with us too. He loved it so much when I had time off work, and was at home with him.
Heād almost be glad they I needed this minor operation if it meant me being at home, and us spending quiet time together.
But the irony is, it could /should have been done sooner, but it would have been impossible because I definitely needed two hands for the medical and personal care that I had to give to him every single day. Wish I was still doing that.
Hugs to you all
Hi Cathphil
I do hope your on the mend. So hard with one hand.
Regarding the breed of my dogs. My one dog I have no idea what her breeding is. I found her in a Dog pound due for death row as she was showing aggression and was food aggressive. I offered to train her and had ten days but needless to say she stayed with me. She was just anxious and frightened and is the most loving dog you could wish for. I have no idea of any of her history or age I just know I owe her so much. My other dog is a terrier and came to me to be fostered. And this cheeky chappie stayed with us also.
I would advise anyone to get themselves a dog. I have never once dreaded coming home as my dogs greet me with so much love (and noise from the little one). I have made many new friends by simply going out for my regular walks. So easy to get into conversation when you have friendly dogs with you. I owe them so much and will never be able to repay them.
Pat
xx
I too cared for my husband through two major illnesses for 8 years
First bladder cancer, he had to have his bladder removed and a stoma bag.
From day one, I dealt with changing it for him. He never once did it for himself. It was the way we wanted it.
And a year after the cancer op, he had complete respiratory failure, resulting in being in an induced coma for 1 month in ICU
After that he was very poorly, multiple hospital admissions, weaker after each one. He needed my complete care, but I combined it with working full time too, all be it with a very caring and understanding boss. Especially when he was in
Hospital, always allowed time off.
In the end too ill for hospital, and died at home with end of life care.
I miss doing everything I had to do for him so much .
Sorry for split reply, Iām not finding it easy typing with left handā¦and last message sent too soon
