Its 14 months since i lost Tony and i wake up every morning with fear and anxiety and cry for ages as im on my own. Used tovwake up with anxiety when Tony was ill, but its no better. I need company to feel safe. Can anyone relate to this. Im no good on my own. I do go out but its every morning i get this terrible fear and anxiety.
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I understand the feeling of anxiety. Perhaps mine was not intense as yours but I learned some breathing and coping techniques in my counselling sessions.
I stayed away from meds as I’d previously spent 20 years on antidepressants.
I still use the breathing techniques when things get to much and I plan for times I know will be stressful.
It might be an idea to speak with your GP or social prescriber to see how they can help…living with that constant state of anxiety must be exhausting for you.
Hugs x
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Hi, I can really relate to this. As soon as I wake from my short night’s sleep I’m scared, I’m so very alone. I hate it, I have to get ready and get out of the house early usually 7.30am and walk to a cafe where I know there will be people. Sometimes I feel a panic, and cry out loud, how on earth to get through
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People tell me to go on meds but I had them years ago and do not intend to again. The mornings are so bad for me because it’s the start of another long day to get through and it stretches endlessly. The evening is easier because I’ve got through another day, it’s dark I put TV on for company and that’s it
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I too wake with my heart pounding and i feel sick with the realisation of what happened 5 months ago.Its like a paralysed fear,a kick in the stomach and an internal shaking. I read a short chapter of a book, then slowly talk myself in to getting up to start my day.Youre not alone.
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Its horrible. I feel i need a companion to lean on to make me feel safe. I have family but dont see a lot of them. I was with Tony for 54 years and am totally lost and afraid so much. Cant see a way out of this even though i do go out etc. I do feel so alonec and lonely.
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It’s a sort of a panic isn’t it, a scared, frightened, panic. I have to get up very early usually before 5am because as I lay there thoughts I can’t stop come into my head, thoughts I don’t want, upsetting me even more. Best wishes
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I was with Allan for 34 years and married 29.5 years.It is SO lonely and you just want them back to hug you and to feel safe again in their arms.We all feel similarly and that helps to know.
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Debbie, I feel the same, I really do feel the need for a companion. I hate being alone, it’s so hard on your own. Especially feeling so bad. I go out every day and stay out. Luckily I have some nice cafes near me and I can sit in them. Still alone but I can see people. Have you got somewhere to go? I also jump on a bus and trundle through the countryside just to use up some of the endless hours in the day
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I can relate to this. 16 months since my husband died and like you wake up every morning feeling anxious unless I am going out to meet someone. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other one day at a time and hopefully as we realise we are surviving the anxiety will ease. I have a friend who is six years in who assures me that it does get easier and will not be as raw.
Take Care.
Gill 
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For me it seems to have got worse. The first year was bad but i joined a couple of groups but now i really feel depressed and dont feel like going out. Just want to be with my husband instead of trying to engage in things i really dont want to do.
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Without my husband, I no longer feel safe.
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I know how you feel. It is six months now and I wake up every morning feeling anxious. I try deep breathing but it doesn’t always help. I don’t like living on my own but the only person I want to be with is no longer here.
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I agree all the groups and people I am trying to connect with I dont actually want too, I just want to be with my husband
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I don’t feel safe either, I feel alone, sad, vulnerable, it’s a scary way to feel. Strangely feel this worse in the morning which for me is very very early when I get up
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I don’t feel “safe” either. It’s one of my biggest issues right now. My spouse was my protector. I could turn to him, even if he grumbled, or I did. Having someone close to you that has your back is a big thing to lose.
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I’m having a few days away this week go home tomorrow. I have felt better away I expected I would. Being away has made me realise several things, it was a experiment. I’m going to go away again very soon. One thing I’m sure of is I don’t want to stay single, it’s not a life I want. Due to previous circumstances I’ve had a lot of my life alone, but the time with my husband was wonderful.
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It’s awful I feel so alone even when I’m with people. I am off for pre Christmas lunch tomorrow with 3 friends. Normally I would be looking forward to it. They are all married and I know the conversation will what they are doing with their husbands i understand it and don’t begrudge them their happiness but its so hard knowing i will never see mine again. 13 months down the line and i feel worse than I did at the beginning. At least friends talked to me about it then, now i feel it’s all forgotten and i should have moved on. All I want to do is cry but i will put on a brave face because i feel this is what they expect. Sorry to ramble on… Lots of love xxx
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@Lost12 So pleased to read that your experiment appears to have gone reasonably well. Good for you going away again soon.
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This is what I miss, he was there for me, had my back. I feel so alone without him. Although not lonely as I keep busy and have a number friends. Not the same is it?
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