My mothers funeral is coming up soon. I know or I suspect I’ll go through it in a daze or just wish it over with. Did anyone have their loved ones funeral audio recorded? I wonder if it will help with healing at some point.
Daffy I guess it’s a personal preference. But I remember mums service very clearly. Everything else is a blur. But not sure I would want it as a reminder or to replay it. I think that would stop me from moving on eventually and undo the healing. Personally for me anyway. X
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I think I had the opportunity but didn’t go with it in the end. I do have a printed copy of the whole service including my tribute. So that’s all the words spoken on the day and all the music used.
I wish you all the best for the day. I think the anticipation right up to the start was worse than the service itself from what I recall.
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Hi daffy
Like Shaun and jooles I didn’t get mums service audio recorded although I got a full transcript given to me like shaun did. I won’t ever read it though. It would be too painful and I dont believe you would listen to an audio recording if you had one.
Although the day will feel like a blur, you will remember it clearly.
I hope it goes well. Like Shaun says the build up and anticipation are worse than the actual day itself and you have waited so long for your mums.
Let us know how it went x
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I don’t think I could have personally coped with that but what I did was write all about Brian myself it was to be his day. I made it clear there was to be no goodbyes and the man that took the service at the Crem was absolutely brilliant and although they were my words he made it sound so interesting that I actually enjoyed listening to him, what a gift he had. I did however find a CD of Brian singing with his band and he sang at his own funeral. This was a touching and nostalgic time for most people and from the feedback everyone thought it was a ‘lovely’ funeral and suited him.
Yes, the build up to the day is far worse than the day itself. I didn’t want to go, I didn’t want to say goodbye thought I would show myself up and be in bits, but from somewhere came strength and I hope I did my Brian proud just as you will do for your mum. Your love for her will shine through. Good luck and god bless.
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As others have said. I got a folder with the order of service and all the words. But I have not opened that folder since. It’s all in my memory. Well apart from the last couple of hours where I think I may have had too much to drink. Oops
I wish there was an edit button. I would just like to clarify I had too a few too many drinks at the wake. Not the service. Lol
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Ha ha.
It’s ok jooles.
I downed 3 large pinots within a hour of arriving at the wake. Mum would have smiled x
You have to let it out somehow Cheryl. My mum would have tutted lol. But she still would have smiled as I would have drunkenly flung my arms around her shouting “love you mummy”
Sorry Daffy I have digressed. I think ultimately it is your choice. If you think you will regret not recording it then do it. You don’t need to ever have to listen to it.
Thank you everyone for your replies. I’ve got over-night to think about it, but I suspect I won’t get it recorded. My partner did for his Dads but he’s never listened to it. Peoples mention of booze make me chuckle, which is what i needed. I saw Mum’s closed coffin today in the chapel of rest. I stayed under half an hour.
Just go with your gut instincts. We Will be thinking of you. The anticipation is much worse than the actual day. I saw mums open coffin in the chapel of rest and stayed under 2 minutes.
That must have been hard daffy with her having been gone 6 weeks now. I thought it was hard enough having mums funeral 3 and a half weeks after she died.
We will all be thinking about you tomorrow x
Apparently, there used to be a tradition where people who have a alcoholic drink before the funeral service. To me that sounds rather civilized. A couple of weeks back I looked into old funeral traditions.
Daffy
I’m sure alot of people need a drink to get them through the service.
It’s quite awful when you think that our loved ones are either going 6 feet underground or burnt to ashes afterwards.
None of it is very nice in all honesty.
My friends dad died 4 days after my mum.he was in Ireland and the service and burial were done and dusted in 3 days. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad to be honest but I know my friend also needed a good drink to get her through the day x
I’d just like to point out that I now feel a bit of a lightweight. I had one glass of wine at my mums wake. Just like at my wedding, I was too busy talking with so many people to consume much alcohol. However the unused wine ended up at my house!
I didn’t like to think about the details of what happens to people after they die. I don’t find that helps me, my mum is gone which is horrible enough.
I never visited my mum when she was at the funeral directors, I felt I’d already done my goodbye in the minutes after. Other members of the family visited though.
I felt honoured and cursed at the same time to be there at the end for my mum.
Right, I must go and have a cup of tea!
I wasn’t going to drink but when we arrived at the wake my husband shoved a large Pinot in my hand and it was such a hot day i downed it. Then someone gave me another one then another. I think people felt sorry for me and that I needed a stiff drink as my brother and dad were very quiet and struggling and felt I had to look after everyone . I did the eulogy, chose the songs, her outfit etc. I Went to chapel of rest the day before. I became “the head of the family” for the day the only girl left in the family. And I was exhausted and emotional and I hadn’t eaten so it did catch up with me but luckily not til everyone had gone. This will make you laugh. My husband tried to walk me home from the pub it was hours after everyone had left so just me and hubby. A 5 minute walk took him an hour as I kept stopping and crying and looking at the sky and saying very dramatically “why” lol.
I think we are still doing that joules!
Every day Cheryl. X
C1971 The funeral was today. Everyone said it was lovely, but it seems to all be a bit of a blur. I felt stunned and several hours later it still feels unreal. It was six weeks after Mum’s death which is quite a long time, but it feels also like yesterday. Extended, family sat around me which felt very supportive. I thought I was just going to cry my heart out, but I was so worried about whether my tribute hit the right note. i kept it together emotionally. I don’t know how. I was almost cold emotionally, but at home I can’t stop balling my eyes out. What a contradiction. I feel like I presented my not true self, by not crying like crazy. If i had cried my heart out. I’d probably also be critical of myself. I’m glad it is done. Mum and I were two peas in a pod. It is difficult to see how i will ever have another relationship like it in my life. I have lost something wonderful. Truly wonderful. Today, repeatedly reminded me that I’d lost my closest friend. My dear Mum. There still feels unreal. When I glanced across at the coffin during the ceremony I could hardly comprehend that she was in it. I think I’ve still got denial and shock. Anyway, it went well so that’s the main thing.