Getting a cat

Losing a partner
1

Being on here does help. I find I start to help others then share my heart which is not intentional.
The isolation is seriously affecting my mental health but no one cares. I’m on various medication and have wondered if I should just stop taking it. No one would notice. That’s why I’m getting a cat to hopefully give me a reason to continue. I just want to be with my wife. I’m 49 and thinking of those expected years ahead alone is unthinkable. Just wish I could meet up with people rather than just messaging on a screen. So alone. Allison and me were an item. Now I’m a 2 legged chair. Useless

2

Hi Jay
Your not useless, don’t even think that. You have been through a trauma and it takes time to heal. It’s good that you share and nothing wrong in that. That’s what were here for.
Sorry, I don’t believe that isolation affects our mental health it is the shock of grief and the change we find ourselves going through. We no longer recognise ourselves as the person we used to be. Then imagine that you are in a room full of people all talking to you, would you miss Allison any the less, I doubt it. I tried mixing in the early days with people that were trying to include me, that I knew well but not having Brian with me was the hardest part and I always had to excuse myself, it brought my loss to the fore even more. So I concentrated on liking my own company as no amount of people was going to ease that raw pain. My loneliness was not having that one special person with me, and I discovered I didn’t want people around me.
Have you a local hospice, if so, see if they have group counselling sessions (when allowed of course). I found this was the only group of people I could cope with and through this I met up with other people going through the same thing. It might help you, it did me for a while. For me it was another stepping stone. Now however I no longer want to go to these sessions. We find a way, our own way. Good luck.

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Hiya
You are not useless,you are grieving and that’s part of it feeling like that,I am good at giving advice like you but doing it is different.
Please don’t stop your medication without advice you know Allison being a nurse would not advise that.
I know what you mean would love to meet some we talk to because behind a screen seems so inadequate but that is all we have so have to be thankful for technology, I suppose.
Just keep posting because you do help others please rest assure and we are here for you.

4

Thanks, just been a constant run of painful bad days that started with the concultant being cruel to her the 2 half days later she’s gone. Just sitting here falling apart. if a body part was that painful they would cut it off.

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Jay, I am 49 also now. I lost my 32 year old wife when I was 38 and I had 2 kids of ages 5 and 2. I only say these things now to let you know that I appreciate your pain. Someone read my story today and rang me to ask why I did not sue the hospital. I was too broken and I figured that it would only become more devastating to be in a legal battle at the same time as I was battling with grief! I have bled from grief all too much. I pray that you will receive a healing also.

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Thank you. While those on here have lost someone not so many have lost their wife at a young age and so suddenly. It was so hard going from a minor medical to be given hours together. It’s going to haunt me as long as I’m here

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7

JayandAllison
How has today been,Did you get your cat hope so.
Yes you are right Iot n here have not lost their loved ones so young.
I cannot imagine how you are feeling I know what grieving is and I did have many more years than you,but still it hurts.
Hope you enjoy your cat if she did arrive.
Take Care.

8

Yes I picked her up. She is very friendly and has already likes her cat bed I got her. I’m glad of the company as been so lonely but nowhere near replacing my girl

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9

I am so pleased for you hope you enjoy and find a little comfort from her.
No it won’t be the girl you really want but let’s hope she comforts you a little.
When you get time lets all see her.
Be. safe

10

If you wish to speak it would be kind if you started a new post away from mine.

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11

So glad you got a wee cat. I have a cat & dog and they are the best great wee companions. X

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Hi Jay.
I am so pleased you have got your little cat. I hope she brings you some much needed comfort. X

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13

Thank you. She lovely. Have the time I can’t read what I’m writing because I’m in tears falling apart. Thanks to those for defending my heart’s been ripped out. I’m no longer following this thread.

14

I realised my last reply was on the wrong post. I was slammed on a different thread. Must have got mixed up.
The cat is good company but just a little distraction

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15

Hi
My dog and cat are what keep me going otherwise I think I would give up
This pain is getting worse As the days go by And I realise that I will never see my love my heart my soulmate again
I long to hear his voice and can’t believe I never will again

16

I am the same. Getting worse realising never seeing again. This world is ridiculous. I am feeling that I am alreadty living in hell. But I have to get better to look after my lovely son but do not know how