Hi, my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly last summer. I miss him so much.
I have done courses, currently doing a bereavement journey course, ive haf some counselling BUT I’m tired of going over and over everything and not actually managing to get ‘through’ the grief.
So, my question is this, how do you personally get through? Im looking at moving on with someone else or forgetting, I just feel I need some ‘tools’ to get through.
So, please tell me what you do?
I need to stop or at least ease this hamster wheel effect!
Thank you 
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I don’t know how we can get through it, it’s been 16 weeks since I lost my beloved husband to cancer. Ive had 2 sessions for grief counselling and don’t think it helps, all they do is let you talk.
I can’t tell you what to do only you can decide that.
Being on here helps get your feelings out
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Yeah, I get what you say, but I’m not asking anyone to tell me what to do. I’m asking what people do/have done to get through this.
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Yes it’s hard. You won’t forget It’s about learning to cope.
I don’t know your circumstances but you say you want to move on with someone else. I’m sure your partner wouldn’t have wanted you to stay in mourning the rest of your life.
They would have wanted you to be happy in the way life takes you That’s what love is. Just be sure that you’re honest and open about your past history because sometimes it does come back and bite you on the bum. Hopefully you will find someone loving and caring and who will totally get you. God Bless
Oh no!! I missed a word out. Im NOT looking to move on with someone else. Never. Makes me so sad. No chance!
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At the moment im not doing very well in coping, I spend most of my time in bed, I don’t go out unless I have to and rarely speak to anyone.
Im sorry if I misunderstood you.
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Its ok, no need to apologise, maybe we can all help each other get through this grief. xxx
Sorry Sweet misinterpreted what you wrote but it’s not a bad thing. Just go with your gut feelings.
I lost the love of my life 12 months ago I want to say it gets easier but I would be lying if I did. I miss him just as much today as I did the first day I would give anything to have him back but I know that’s not going to happen. You do learn to cope but it’s hard I’m sat here tonight thinking What would we be doing Having a drink, Talking about the week, plans for the weekend and just a good cuddle up in front of the tele.
That’s not going to happen . The Fires lit. The teles on, the wine is in the glass but there is no one here to share it with.
I feel your pain 
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Hi pauline-g
If you are like me, the tv is on but you are not really watching it. It is just background noise for me really, to avoid sitting in silence. I watch things that we used to watch, but take no delight in any of it anymore.
For me, being back at work, even though not full time, is a welcome distraction. I am trying to put some normality back into my life, and looking for hobbies to try to keep my brain occupied. It is all a bit of a distraction of course, but i cannot allow myself to just fall apart. She would have hated that for me.
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I’m sorry that you have lost your husband and on this site. I don’t come on here very often but thought I would reach out to you. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly 2 years ago. The best advice I was given was to take one minute, one hour at a time and not too look into the future as we can’t control the future like we couldn’t control the past. I don’t think we ever move on from our loved ones. We move forward slowly taking our love ones with us. Time sadly is not stopping for anyone. I just keep myself busy filling up my time, you are still only early days and would still be in shock and numb. We are not the same person as before and we have this journey with no destination. I find that I am dealing better with my grief now though I still miss my husband every day, even more now than ever before. I didn’t want to sink so carried plodding on and reaching out and seeing friends and made new friends with people who have lost their husbands who get it. I started line dancing and diamond art painting and work as well Sending you a big hug xx
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Hello there
I am fairly new on here. My name is Daniel
Don’t know where to start really
I lost my partner Debbie to AML Leukemia on the 8th Jan.
She was diagnosed July 7th 24.
When we was told the deverstating, it’s the biggest bombshell you can ever have.
They started Debbie on chemo straight away.
The outlook was good, the first round of chemotherapy put her into remission.
But 7wks later we where told it had returned with a vengeance.
They had one more option, it was a oral chemo tablet. But that didn’t work. Nothing more they could do for her.
Debbie gradually because weaker, out of breath very quickly. To see my beautiful wife slowly dying was heartbreaking. She was full of life,kind, funny, do anything for anyone if she could.
Debbie passed away in my arms Jan 2nd 25
Lost my best friend, wife, soulmate
Half of me is gone. My life will never be the same
I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone because I’m not very good at saying how I’m feeling.,.
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Sorry for your loss I lost my fiancée 2023 suddenly he was only 51 I have no intentions of moving on with anyone else but I found counselling didn’t work for me as I still grieve quite hard he was my everything I went with him to functions as he was a DJ but I’ve managed to try and keep busy my daughter takes me to town sometimes we go shopping together and day trips in the summer I have a few events this year to look forward to it’s at night when I’m alone it hits the hardest I’ll nene forget but my life goes on it’s how you deal with it mentally grief is love with no place to go but if you feel you need to move on and meet someone else that is up to you and I wish you the best of luck x
No, i really dont want to move on with anyone else. I missed a vital word in my original post!
I’m just hoping for guidance as to what others have done to move forward (on our own!)
I just feel stuck, does that make sense?
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Yes it does make sense it’s hard when you are grieving people grieve differently just takes time I suppose I still grieve hard but I have tablets to help me sleep 
but it doesn’t block what I experienced etc I just keep myself busy just take one day at a time ask a friend to pop over or go for coffee if you want to go out etc I was like a zombie at first and still find it hard he’s gone and won’t see him ever again worse for his daughter she’s only 17 x
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I lost the love of my life suddenly just 10 days ago and it’s just the most painful agonising time of my life. Only together for two years plus n although we didn’t live together but spent 5 days a week together at either of our houses.
John was the complete opposite of me but we clicked, him posh and oh so intelligent, me not as quite and we were absolute soulmates.
He talked me the real meaning of love. Understanding, empathy, caring, selflessness the list could go on and it’s something I’d never really experienced before.
He would want me to live life as he had an enormous zest for life, never still, always wanting to go places and learn about everything. Larger than life character
Even so we had our wonderful times of just sitting holding hands ( something I’d never wanted to do before him ) having our V n T of glass or bottle of cava n nibbles n tapas in our gardens or indoors. He was so so happy as was I.
I am an outgoing person but want no other person to love in my life, John is the last. I have my family of two sons n four grandchildren, single girlfriends, married friends plus an ex hubby who have been fabulous but I feel the need to meet new people with friendships to follow and I’m thinking of joining the Oddfellows which looks a wonderful organisation. I’ve sent for introductory pack and this morning through floods of tears I told John all about it. He would be absolutely all for it saying ‘ don’t just think about it, do it ‘.
I miss him terribly and today a very bad day so I need to try n rethink my life.
Love to all on here
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I understand how you feel, I lost my beloved husband on 23rd November 2024 to cancer.
We found out 22nd October, 3 days after our 22nd wedding anniversary, 28th October he was taken into hospital (he never came home) he had a burning rash on his thigh and trouble breathing so doctor sent him to hospital for tablets. 13th November we found out there was nothing they could do as it spread to fast and was in his lungs and he was too weak for chemo, he was moved to a hospice on 19th November where he passed away 4 days later.
I had 4 weeks with him since his diagnosis.
Its been 16 weeks and my life has been ripped apart and feel like half of me is missing
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There is no easy way to explain from the very second she passed to now little difference in how I feel and I don’t think that will change anytime soon if ever. All we can do is hide being the mask I wear in public then be sad and lonely on my own at home almost 42 weeks now and no improvment in the way I feel.
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No I feel the same
Sorry for your loss I lost my fiancé also called Steve July 2023 almost 2 years but feels like yesterday he went suddenly ages 51 he moved his music being a fellow DJ wasn’t allowed to say good bye cause of his family etc but I have pictures and his engagement ring and memories grief is love 
with no place to go you just learn to bring it along with you I haven’t had therapy as I suffer PTSD xx but just take each day as it comes
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I read on here I am not moving on, I am trying to carry on, so true
Not sure if I am expected to sit in the corner draped in black or out trying to find a replacement, it’s only 17 weeks since I lost my husband of 50 years, had to have an invasive post mortem, inquest was on Tuesday. Still no death certificate, have been in limbo for so long
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