Grief I list my husband of 62 years 3 months ago after a short 6 week fight with cancer. He was fit mentally and physically up until 6 weeks before he died of cancer. My friends snd family are very kind and really do help me but I just want him back. The pain is unbearable he was still my liver my husband my friend and we were so content to be together and still do in love. I miss his face I miss his cuddles I miss him so badly I can’t breathe at times. How long does this severe pain last.
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I don’t know. It is only coming up for 8 weeks for me.
You don’t say at which stage you are but if its the beginning, it a very raw and painful stage. It does get easier in time but you’re never really free of pain, it just dulls and get easier to cope with.
The days will get less all consuming and the tears do dry and you’ll have days of no tears.
The grief and sadness never leave you but you can have a life.
I’m nearly 6 months on this journey and still have days where I let the grief in but mostly I’m ok and can go about life, despite it not being the planned one.
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That gives me a glimmer of hopexxx
It was early March this year he was diagnosed and he died late April. He was my world we have had s wonderful life since we were married st age 18. He was romantic and loving we haven’t spent any time apart for over 25 years when we retired early and have travelled the world together. He was my man until the end.
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I resent the fact he was taken away from me. I’m so angry for him. Our love was so close - I just feel like screaming I just want his presence back and his love. I know it’s selfish but I hate the fact that when he was dying he was so worried about leaving me to carry on without him. I’m mad he was put thru that emotional pain. Everyone says you have such wonderful memories but they are the hardest things to deal with. I don’t want past memories I’d give them all up to make memories with in in the future.
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@Alwaystrue oh it’s so hard. It’s sounds like you had an amazing life together. It will be hard, there’s no doubt about it. I was very angry for my partner and sometimes I still am. He died suddenly and unexpectedly in Jan, he had just got his dream job and was so happy and healthy, he was 49.
We should be away now, we had planned his 50th birthday treat going round France and Italy in our camper, we were so excited for this year and he has been robbed of a wonderful life. I feel angry for everything he’s missing out on and how much the family are missing him. He was the love of my life and life without him is hard. I’m doing it but it’s nowhere near the same
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My husband died within 6 days of his diagnosis. We had been planning a bash for our 50th wedding anniversary. Somehow I survived that day but seem to be going downhill since. He didn’t die of the cancer but if internal bleeding they couldn’t stop. The cancer could have been survivable.
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Oh I m so sad for you all. Life is horrible without my darling husband. I grieve for him he was so sad about leaving me but was first told “by a hospital radiographer that it was operable and had nothing to worry about then got a phone call three days later yo he told it was secondary cancer and it was in operable. We lived in Turkey for 18 years but came back to Uk to live out our lives. He was 80 but still so active and living. He didn’t smoke or drink we had s Mediterranean diet and kept active. My heart is broken he deserved to live. I know that applies to you all. He said he’d had a wonderful life but I feel like someone or something has taken him away from me without even giving him the choice and it’s something I can’t fix.
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It’s how much future you have lost . My love died suddenly at 58 . I had took my pension at 55 and we were so happy to be spending so much time together with much less financial worries . Then bang … everything has gone . The man you adored with every fibre of your being . How do we carry on . It’s a nightmare
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We both retired in our 50’s. We had nearly 20 years together in retirement. I expected to go first being the most unhealthy.
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We put one foot in front of the other and take small steps. No one wants to carry on but we do. I won’t put this pain on anyone else. I can’t do that so I have to keep going forward on this path. My future is set. It will be what it will be.
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In a total meltdown this evening. Should have been at an evening wedding reception that we were both invited to. I got dressed ready to go even purchased a new dress and then I sat down to write the card and signed it only from me and totally broke down in tears and knew I could not attend without him. 15 weeks since he left me and our boys and I still cannot believe it has happened.
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@Betty21 I’m so sorry. I don’t think I could have managed that at 15 weeks either. That’s no time at all.
It’s still early days and it’s ok to look after you and not do the things you can’t manage.
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Oh Betty I know exactly how you feel. It’s so painful I am surrounded with love but my Love is not here. I’m desolate without him but I carry on for my children snd grandchildren as he would have wanted.
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I couldn’t have put it better myself. It’s been over two years for me and most of the time I’m ok and other times it feels like yesterday when he had a heart attack in bed beside me - a night that will haunt me forever. I feel now just empty and plod from one day to the next but getting out and about and keeping myself busy. Life seems so unfair doesn’t it but 46 years with a wonderful
man I realise how lucky I have been.
Keep strong 
Georgina
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your man. It’s also three months since I lost my partner, best friend, the love of my life, to cancer and the grief, pain, heartache, and regrets are sometimes almost unendurable. I wish i could offer you some consolation on this long road we have been forced to travel. Caring thoughts going your way, and to all on this very sad journey xx
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Thankyou everyone this is a safe place for me to open my heart and my grief and I thank you all for thst. I feel that here my grief is understood and shared by you all xx
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Without sounding like the bearer of bad news, I’m not sure it ever does. Well…I’m almost 2 years in. I lost my wife (34) after a 5 month struggle with cancer. I’ve not even begun to process/accept/grieve? I guess everyone deals with things differently - but the feeling of constant pain and battle for me has never lessened.
Maybe that’s me holding on to the pain so I feel I don’t let go though. I’m sorry if this has made things worse!!
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