Dave I’m so sorry that you’re in so much pain, sending hugs and support. Please dont feel you’re alone in how you feel, we’re all feeling exactly the same.
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Thanks Katy. I am having a really bad day today. People on here are the only support I have. I am really grateful for everyone being here and for being so kind. It means a lot to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thinking of you and sending you hugs back. x
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Hi Dave
That was me last week. Feeling better this week. I guess we all have to endure this horrendous situation we are in. Life is going to be a roller coaster for some time. Keep posting on here. It is giving me great comfort. I think helping others understand is making me understand. Tomorrow is another day. Stay strong.
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Hi Roo,
Glad you’re feeling better this week. I am trying to keep busy by getting rid of stuff which I no longer need but it’s tiring and the house looks even worse now.
I just feel like I’m disappearing down a black hole. At the start of last month, my wife and I were happy.
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Ive just cut the grass inthe garden. My husband was the gardener and I’m useless cutting the grass is my limit. I’ve cried so much whilst doing it. Peter wouldve done so much more and I feel I’ve let him down. I’ll never be able to make it look as lovely as he did. I know its sounds crazy but I kerp saying sorry to him
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That’s definitely a positive step, Katy. I’m sure your Peter will be proud of you for doing it.
My wife looked after the garden and I have absolutely no idea what to do with it and you’re not crazy at all. I keep apologising to my wife all the time for all sorts of things. x
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Hi
Yes my Husband was the gardener too and he also kept the house going as i worked and he was retired. I too feel guilty for not appreciating all that and that im not up to date with the chores. Ive literally just dragged myself out of bed yes at 2.30 but i was having a bad day and i guess feeling sorry for myself. I tell myself i needed to process thoughts and its self care,not sure if that’s true, infact i seems to be unsure of everything and i was never like that.
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All routine has now gone from my life now, Jane. I do what needs to be done when I can. Being in bed until 2.30 or not getting out of bed at all doesn’t matter. You need to put yourself first and do whatever helps you through the day. Spending time processing your thoughts is important and a good thing to be doing.
I missed putting out the recycling this morning and the wheelie bin is full. It won’t get collected now for another four weeks but I don’t care. That and other household chores can wait.
Look after yourself Jane and I hope tomorrow is a better day. x
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I feel completely at one with every word you’ve written here. Nobody will every understand this kind of pain unless they’ve been through it, and had the sane loving relationship that we sll have had. I’ve been thinking about meds for depression, but don’t want there to be something that temporarily covers the wound. I offer you my deepest condolences and sympathies, and hope somehow we will all have a brighter future where we miss our loved one, but without this horrible despair, loneliness, pain, etc……
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I often stay in bed for most of the day. I just do what feels right for me at the time. And like Dave I’ve messed up the bins several times. My thing is to put the wrong ones out on the wrong day. I don’t care. Hopefully my brain will eventually kick in again.
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Thanks Rob. I went to my doctor as I couldn’t sleep and all he wanted to do was give me more anti-depressants. They are not going to help one bit. He clearly didn’t understand how deep this agony goes.
Sending deepest condolences and sympathies back Rob and hoping this pain lessens at some time soon. I can’t live with it.
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It’s over two years since I lost my dear wife Norma, some days are good, but some days are unbearable, and not being able to share the things we did together, now the darker days are here, it’s awful being on your own, but we have to carry on the best way we can
Bill
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