So sorry to hear you grieving so badly after so long. I feel for you and worry about being in the same boat. It’s only been three months for me, and although I read from others that it gets easier, I don’t know how. I have cried every day since she left, and just can’t imagine my life getting better in any way without her. She was my best friend, and living without her is nothing less than unbearable. I hope you and I and others will find some kind of solice eventually. Try and stay strong my friend, and I will do the same. Seeing people helps more than anything. Sitting at home alone is by far the worst.
Take care.
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Perhaps its a mistake telling you this the last thing I want to do is make you feel worse and Im sure its different for everyone but my partner passed away three years ago last month and for me the grief has got worse. There’s tears most days made considerably worse now its dark at four pm. Grief takes many forms I afraid we just have to live with it and do our best to cope. Best wishes to you.
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Hi Rob. I’m now at about 4 months and have definitely found myself getting worse over the last few weeks. I think it’s a combination of things. The shock has worn off and friends and family have to go back to their normal lives. But for me the biggest thing is that each day I come across something else we can never do again. It’s a relentless process that I just hope will eventually ease a bit.
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Hi
Im 5 months insince losing my Husband and agree with all everyone’s saying. Im finding things aregoing wrong in thehouse. Dead dismembered bird in the garden, shower stopped working and overflow pipe dripping water then car broke down and curtains rail fell off the wall. Just wish the universe would stop throwing this out to me.
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Hi Sam, so sorry for your loss and what your experiencing after four months. I completely understand how our feelings jump around and also worsen when we think they should improve. For me, the mornings and evenings are the worst, and can’t stand the empty loneliness I feel when I start to think about all the things that will never be again. The unfairness of it all is always there in my mind, and that at 57 she didn’t deserve any of this. Sometimes the pain is just so intense that it feels unbearable which I’m sure you and everyone else can completely sympathize with. It feels like a nightmare that I know I can’t wake from. Just thought of travelling to be with her family for Christmas is something I know will be super difficult, but need to soldier through.
I wish you the best my friend…
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Thank you Rob. Mornings are horrible and yes Christmas is coming for all of us. Just aim for a minute at a time when things are really bad and take care of yourself.
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Hi all, now just short of 8 months for me and things have changed but I am not sure that my grief has actually got worse, I am a fairly analytical person (thanks to my dad) and I suspect what has changed is that initially your whole time is taken up with the savagery of the pain endured by your loss with no space for anything else, during this time, I didn’t feel sad it was much worse than sadness, like everyone, my mind was constantly trying to deal with this awful situation that I couldn’t get to grips with, I couldn’t understand and was all consuming, constant out of control emotional breakdown and tears.
As the months have passed, it has eased and I have been grateful for that as I now have times when I can think about my wife without breaking down at the mere thought of her, I do have times when the wave hits and I have to go with it but I now know when this happens it will pass, what I struggle with is missing her so much, still going from day to day and having no future that I am aware of, I push myself to do things, mainly at home and in the garden, other things make a claim on your time, taking the cat to the vet, then having to take the duck to the vet, somebody has been here doing some work for several days and these things do occupy your time but when it goes quiet again the situation floods back in to that space, the emotions and tears can overwhelm yet again along with deep sadness as once again your situation hits home and I think this is why you feel the pain is getting worse but for me it is not the overwhelming despair that was out of control a few months back.
Apologies for another rambling post but I hope it may help, take care.
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It’s 17 weeks for me. The lonliness is so hard. Most days I don’t speak to another person. The silence is deafening. I don’t want to be alone. I see to my dogs, I spend hours doing silly chores. I invent jobs to go on my list. I do hope there will be more to life than this.
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Hi Jane64
I think I know how you’re feeling. My husband died on June 26th this year.
At the moment I can cry at the drop of a hat - especially in a morning. I don’t want to do anything and sometimes just sit and watch tv all day. I know I should be doing things but have no incentive, no reason to carry on. My husband was the love of my life and I feel like my life ended the day his did.
I definitely feel worse now than I did at the time. I’m fed up with people telling me I must get out and about. Apart from shopping I’ve got nowhere to go, and certainly wouldn’t want to go for a coffee or meal on my own, as some have said I should. I prefer to stay in the house and please myself what I do.
Does that sound awful. I’m sorry if it does but my husband was my life, I love and miss him so much and nothing seems to matter any more.
I’ve no family of my own so just feel I’ve been left with nothing and no-one. I’ve got a lovely house and all the things that my husband and I bought but without him to share them they mean nothing.
I’m so sorry to sound so miserable but I just can’t get myself out of it - I just miss him sooooh much. 
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Sending a very big hug xx
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Sending you a very big hug xx
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I an so very sorry that you, myself and others are battling such extreme emotional pain. We all are here for you sending much love, and hope someway somehow we will find happier times sooner than later.
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That’s just how I feel, Harriet. The mornings are the worst part of the day. Waking up next to an empty space where my wife should be and facing another day without her is really hard to bear.
My wife died suddenly five weeks ago at the age of 57. I am 58. To think this is how it is going to be for the rest of my life terrifies me. People keep saying it will get better but I don’t see how it can. She’s gone and left me behind and I would do absolutely anything to be with her again.
My wife was everything to me, my whole life. The loneliness is horrendous. I have no family or friends who visit. I don’t want to go out but I can’t bear to be alone. My wife and I did everything together and going out alone is a constant reminder that she is not here.
I also feel like my life ended when my wife died. There is just no point to anything now. The heartbreak and despair has destroyed me.
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So very sorry Dave.
My husband died suddenly in March.
I promise I understand.
It’s the most traumatic loss and devastating change to our lives.
Everyone grieves in their own way.
For me, I do not think about the future if I can help it. It is too scary.
I suppose I try to keep my mind in the moment.
Some might say that is avoiding everything but I know that it is my way of (sort of) getting through the morning, afternoon, day.
Sending a big hug x
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Mgb, I’m exactly the same. I miss my husband so much. We didnt have to have long conversations, we were so happy in each others company. So close that we could practically read each others thoughts. We didnt have to be in the same room or even the same place for us to feel complete. And now, there’s just me, feeling like a spare part, a gooseberry, out of place when in the "outside world. Even on a quick supermarket shop I feel so lonely. This group is so supportive, I wish I could bring you all into my kitchen for a coffee and a chat. Im sure that would help our loneliness. Send you all support and hugs x
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Katy I have tried to find a local face to face support group because I have found some comfort in being with people who have been through this. My friends and family can see that I’m suffering, but have no real understanding. Of course I didn’t either before I was bereaved. Anyway, I can’t find a group and would also like to bring everyone here together.
I’m also now facing the horror of having to go back to work. I’ll have been off for 4 1/2 months and I’m absolutely dreading it.
Sending love out to everyone.
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I know exactly how you feel, I am 52 and just lost my wife, everything is pointless, everything. What is the point in working to earn money when you have no one to treat, what is the point of anything now, none of it matters without the person who made you feel special and loved. I was planning on retiring at 60 but now that seems like a prison sentence.
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I’m so sorry for your loss RoseGarden. It’s a huge shock to lose a loved one so suddenly.
I think the suddenness delayed my grief setting in. I was in shock and denial for the first couple of weeks. I probably still am but that’s possibly giving way to the grief now which is why I’m feeling worse.
The trouble is that I am alone with my thoughts and I am overthinking things. You’re right that I shouldn’t think about the future too much. I have enough to worry about today.
Thinking of you and sending a big hug to you too, Dave. x
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Sam I’ve looked for groups near me and like you, there aren’t any. I know that this group is spread all over the country, even the world as a lady called Peaches is from New Orleans. I’m not sure how anyone else would feel but would it help us to have a telephone support group? Senfing support and hugs to everyone
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I just feel like I’m existing now Atrum. I lived for my wife. She was all I ever wanted and the centre of my universe. I loved her so, so much. I still do and I always will.
Absolutely nothing matters to me now. I have lost my reason for being here.
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