A memoir, published in 2005. Another publication this year which I need to read, A Beginner’s guide to Dying , Simon Boas
Oh. I thought a pooka was a rabbit. Must look it up.
It is strange, isn’t it, all the different people joined here by grief? Little islands of grief adrift in a sea of the normal, but somehow still joined?
I hate the internet, but is good for this.
But grief is exhausting.
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Yes I read Joan Didion. Such a good read. The first year is hard because your mind hopes for ‘magical’ things. Losing one’s way, not knowing who one is, feeling like it is all so pointless is part of grief. We grieve not just the loved one but what has been taken away, the future we thought we would have, all the things we thought we would do. In time though some meaning does return for most of us. Not the life we planned for, expected, but a life none the less. Grief is not about fixing the self, recovering to what was. It is, at least what I think, about navigating what we feel and setting small goals and trying to find ourselves in our unasked for new world. Everyone does it differently and in a different time frame. x x
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Wise words indeed. I like the idea of small goals. Not yet though.
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I feel the same
I lost my husband 8wks ago and i cry more now then when he passed. The emptyness and the lonelyness makes me cry even more. We were married for 34 years and did everything together.
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Thank you for the book references. I’ve added them to my list. Seems strange to be reading about grief in the middle of all this, but it makes me feel less alone.
Hello Joanne. It’s just plain awful. Awful.
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It sure is. I wish everyday for him to come back. I know he can’t
I’m so sorry for you loss, Joanne. The agony is horrendous.
My wife Lillian died 8 weeks ago and I am crying more as time goes on. The grief is getting worse.
We met when we were 17 years old and were married for 39 years. We did everything together and I miss her so, so much. The loneliness is unbearable.
The world has become a cold, bleak and horrible place.
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Yes it has.
There is also ‘It is OK that you are not OK’ by Megan Devine. Am amazing read when you feel ready to read. Really validating on the process of grief and life after such a big loss x
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Viv5 I’ve read this book, and I completely agree. It didn’t make me less sad but I found it very helpful.
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I’ve just downloaded it.
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I watch Megan Devine’s YouTube videos and find most of what she says about grief very helpful. She knows what she’s talking about having experienced the death of her husband several years ago.
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I met my husdand when i was 21 we had a fantastic life together. We did everything together the only things we didnt do was going to work or the bathroom stuff lol 
he was my best friend and my sole mate. I dont think i will ever learn to live or love again. (I dont wsnt to love again either) i hope you will be ok in time.
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Thank you Joanne. I couldn’t love anyone as much as I loved Lillian. I still love her and I always will. She was my entire world and all I lived for.
The future terrifies me. I can’t bear the loneliness since Lillian died and I really don’t want to live a life without her. I’m living the worst nightmare imaginable and I pray for it to end.
I hope the pain will lessen for you Joanne. It’s agony, absolute agony.
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I know how you feel. Im the same my world is so empty its unreal. I loved him with everything i had my heart is so broken he was my world.
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I feel exactly the same. Just when you think you’re at your lowest, it gets worse. The pain of knowing you’ll never see their face, speak or message each other. The constant sadness, crying and brain fog.
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I’m scared I will forget her voice.
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I know how you feel. I went though my hubbys phone to see if there was a recording of his voice, luckly there was so i sent it to my phone. Plus all the pics of us both. Just so i don’t forget him. Which i won’t.
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