Grief has changed me... not for the better


This is the first time I’m posting something like this. But I feel that, while I’m in counselling with Sue Ryder, I want to connect with like minded individuals. I’m a young woman who lost her grandparents during the first lockdown, 5 days apart, in August 2020. My gran on 1st August at 10pm, and grandfather on 6th August 2020 (gran due to a long 30 year battle with cancer, grandfather from a broken heart losing his wife). I was training to be a nurse at the time.

When I qualified in 2021, my dog of 14 years and 8 months deteoriated significantly over two months. My dog had been my rock for over a decade, and I felt like my heart was ripped out. I wad there in the end. But lately it’s just getting worse. I’m feeling colder, more easily upset and find good relationships at work are becoming more strained. I’m 4 sessions in, and my counsellor is fantastic, I just don’t know… why I feel worse now than before? Am I finally at rock bottom before the upwards spiral to healing?


Hello @Kate91, thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandparents. I hope you find the community to be a support - you are not alone.

I wanted to share this thread with you: Grief has changed me

Our members talk about some of the things you’ve shared in your post - you might find some comfort in reading it and find support on the thread.

I’m really glad that counselling is helping you. It might be worth exploring these feelings of things getting worse before they get better with your counsellor, too.

Please do keep reaching out, and take care

So sorry for loss of your grandparents. I never knew mine. Also the loss of a much loved pet is simply awful for you. I have a little dog and although I often hate my life and my grief over my lovely hubby is cruel beyond belief, just having him is a comfort. I do hope your counselling sessions really help you. I am thinking of requesting some help as I am in turmoil over my husband and can’t stop. I am glad you think your counsellor is fantastic. Keep at it and hopefully one day you will be able to remember and smile . Bless you xxx