Hello @Kate91, thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandparents. I hope you find the community to be a support - you are not alone.
I wanted to share this thread with you: Grief has changed me
Our members talk about some of the things you’ve shared in your post - you might find some comfort in reading it and find support on the thread.
I’m really glad that counselling is helping you. It might be worth exploring these feelings of things getting worse before they get better with your counsellor, too.
Please do keep reaching out, and take care
Seaneen