Thank you so much Carol. It helps so much that lovely people like you on this forum truly know the reality of losing their soulmate. I really appreciate when they reach out when we post. Every morning I wake up and for a second think he is beside me - then I realise and it’s like he dies again every morning. I’m thinking of you xx
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@Lookingforhope I hear your pain… you have certainly been through it… I can’t believe in any supernatural, but there again, I don’t understand what this life is - nor the point of it now.
My daughter in law is trying to set me up with her Mum (spitting on my Sharon’s memory) and my Dad’s wife is trying to put him in a home against his will (to presumably sell the house and go to live with her daughter in New Zealand) - really don’t need this shit but (as I posted elsewhere early this morning) maybe these things just help divert the attention away from the pain…
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Dear DennisS
I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. Ignore any attempts to pair you up. I’m the same, just not interested in anyone else. I’m thinking about you and send you very best wishes.
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All those ridiculous cliches.
I have heard them all and many more and am totally sick of them.
My wife died 10 months ago and those who say time heals must be on a another planet because that is not the case.
I have a few friends and all of their wives are still alive and they are completely blindsided when I ask them how they would cope if their partner died. I am pretty sure that one or two of them would completely disintegrate.
I have decided not to talk about my loss to them because it is completely pointless.
Stay strong.
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Edwin let,
So sorry for your loss. I don’t think time heals. It is 12 months since I lost my wonderful Derek. I feel it’s getting worse instead of better. I feel for you. Take care xx
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Yesterday I met someone who didn’t ask me how I was or acknowledge in any way the death of my husband and (I know she was upset to hear he’d died when my friend spoke to her .). not really sure how I felt by her actions…then today I met someone who said you’ve had a rough time I’m not going to ask you how you are after she’d gone I just burst into tears in the shop… both responses affected me but I don’t know which was easier the one who didn’t acknowledge my grief or the one who did? I just don’t really know how I want people to act/react when the see or speak to me I guess it doesn’t really matter cos my grief isn’t getting any less and my reaction to it isn’t getting any easier …
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@Lookingforhope I totally agree - I’m trying not to get angry, and try to ignore people who try to dump on me - but as for thinking I’d go out with my daughter in laws Mum? Seriously??? Firstly, there is no one who can match my Sharon - so whilst I may have a girlfriend at some stage in the future (although I doubt it) I will NEVER have another partner, ever. Secondly, if I did have a girlfriend, it would not be a sort of family member. Thirdly, if I did want a girlfriend, I’ll do it myself Fourthly, my girl has only just gone and although Sharon told me to have another partner I just don’t want one.
And as for my Dad s wife, she’s just disgusting in her and for him.
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@MaryAE it’s impossible to know because it depends on who is asking, or not, and why. And your mood at the time… Today is different to yesterday, and to tomorrow - although full of the same doubts, fears etc. I try to ignore those who I feel have said or done the wrong thing…
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I lost my hubby, best friend, in February, I’m lost. I walk around the flat in a trance. When I went to work, he used to tex me saying there’s cuppa waiting for me for when I come home. I miss the texes and coming home to him. I went back to work 6 weeks after he died. There are days I find I have to push myself to go, but going to work has helped me in a way. But the pain and confusion of why ? Lots of feelings, If it wasn’t for my dogs I wouldn’t go out. So yes, I hate it being on my own.
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DennisS
I totally agree. Your Sharon sounds like an absolute diamond. It’s your life and it’s totally up to you what you intend to do with your future.
I don’t think that I will be looking for anyone in the future as I would always be comparing but again that is right for me, not anyone else. I keep searching for some peace, as I said, I tried church but it wasn’t for me. How can there be a God to give good people such pain?
I’m lucky in that I have three grown up children and five granddaughters who I am close to, although two of the girls are not living up here (two living and working in Yorkshire) but they are also in pain and anyway they all have their lives to live. So I always put a brave face when we are together and never put any demands on them.
So all our lives have changed forever. I hope you can get some relief from your pain. A hard thing, as we all know. I think your Sharon must have loved you very much xx
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You have hit the nail on the head.
Since my wife died I do not see the point in anything.
Cannot be bothered with anything any more.
Stay strong.
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Edwomble
Thinking of you. Take care xx
Many thanks I will try to be a bit more sociable, and speak to people.
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I try to be strong, but I get overwhelmed with grief when my mind wanders.but I the same as your.I just take the day as it comes. Anyway many thanks stay safe. Eddie
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How long does this terrible pain last,I’m in pieces.
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I know how you feel . I’m the same , desperately need my husband with me now .xtake carex
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@Broken2222 it’s the evenings I find so very hard to cope with,I miss my husband so much.
Sweetie
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when I’m at work through the day it’s not to bad . But I’m on six weeks holiday now . So not only the evenings but also the days . In fact all the time . Even when I’m talking to people it’s always about my husband . I feel like I can’t do this without him . I have tried so hard to be positive but it’s really not working . And I have had some really bad news today . So I just need him .xtake carex
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@Broken2222 I’m sorry you’ve had bad news today,the last thing you need.Everything is a huge effort to cope with on your own.Knowing that it’s just you now,no one to cuddle up to at night,the knowledge that he is not too far away when he was on a night shift but would be home in the morning.I just don’t know how long I can cope with this,the only thing keeping me going is my little rescue cat,I can’t bear the thought of her being put back into rescue.I plod on but there is no joy in anything any more,I slap a smile on my face and pretend I’m alright so people don’t worry about me but I’m dying inside.I know I’m not alone in these thoughts because so many on here are inthe same situation.I wish for everyone to have a better day tomorrow.
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I know what you mean . I feel like I have already died inside . It’s just so hard day in day out . Trying to live . When the only main reason for living is gone . I just need him to tell me everything will be ok and not to worry . Like he use to . But it’s never going to be ok again . Yes let’s hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone . The only problem . There is a lot of tomorrows to get through . It’s a living hell . Without the one person that got me . And loved me unconditionally . Sorry for being so down . But this is my life now . Can’t see it getting any better . Unless a miracle happens . Thank you for your support . Xtake carex
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