Grief hurts

Grief hurts, it’s like a tangled mess and you feel you have one but sorted and another hits you in the face.

My mom shouldn’t have died like she did. It hurts so much that no one listened to us. She didn’t have a good death.

She died on 30th August 2023. Our whole world has changed forever. My heart is broke forever.

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I’m so sorry, @Becca_d. I read your story when you first joined and it sounds like your mom’s death was so traumatic for you.

I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump - hopefully someone will be along to offer their support. :blue_heart:

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Thank you.

I had a counselling session today and cried. I don’t cry as much these days and I worry I am forgetting my mom. I need to talk about her all the time. I just want to feel connected to her.

I was so traumatic & I will never forget that as long as I live.

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I’m so sorry you’re hurting today. You’re right that it’s messy. Especially if you have traumatic memories to process. I’m sending you love and strength as someone who is walking the same path as you just now. I know that you will never forget your Mum. X

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Sending huge hugs, Becca. I have to grapple with traumatic memories too, as you know, and it really sucks. :heart::heart::heart:

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It really does. I just really need my mom right now.

I am struggling with it all. When it first happens everyone is there checking on you, loads of flowers, cards all of that. Now it’s like everyone has forgotten the pain you are going through.

I am tired of ‘keeping going’ I want to scream at the world because it’s not fair. My mom should be here. :broken_heart::cry:

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I know. :yellow_heart: We know. :yellow_heart:

The pain will never leave, and it will never be OK. We have been forever changed by our loss, and by the tragic circumstances.

I want to tell people that it’s OK if I cry when they talk to me about my dad. I’d rather talk about him and cry, than not talk about him. He is worth all of my tears and more. My dad is my hero. Thankfully we all dote(d) on our parents and they have never wondered how much we love them.

When Boris was floating the idea of lockdown I lived about 60 miles from my parents. They were considering whether or not to let me come and visit, before lockdown was imposed. My dad apparently said to my mum “but she’s always hugging us” or something to that effect. What he meant was that I’d need to restrain myself :rofl:, because I was always hugging them.

But I did, and do, show my parents how much I love, appreciate and adore them, and I have always (well, post-troublesome teenage years) done what I could to make their lives easier. :heart:

Try to take comfort in the beautiful relationship that you have with your loved one. That relationship will never end. It’s only changed.

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@Burgled That’s lovely, especially the bit about how affectionate you were with your parents & your Dad’s response. :laughing: I think it’s those kind of comments I miss from my Dad. Those little things I took for granted because I thought there’d b many more. He had an awesome sense of humour too. It’s horrible missing someone.

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I do. Scream at the world when I’m alone. Scream that dad should be here, that everything is wrong and he should have come home. And you’re expected to act normal. :broken_heart::heart:

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It’s my dad’s humour I miss the most. The glint in his eye and his quirky jokes. There is no one I can joke like that with anymore. :cry:

Having a bit of a meltdown right now, as it hit me all over again. :broken_heart:

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@Ulma grief really sucks doesn’t it. It’s like my life is now a spirit level & I can’t get the bubble to stabilise. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to accept this new normal. To the world I’m coping but the anxiety is always there.

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Big time! Yes, the anxiety and the sorrow is always there. It colours everything. :heart:

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I am feeling it big time today. Feel so yuk and brain fog is bad. Just got to get through work then I am going home to sleep.

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Thank you Cee. I love my dad’s sense of humour, and his attitude to life. He had massive responsibilities but always took time to laugh and be silly :heart:.

This is such a lovely post. Thank @Burgled

Although it made me cry there is so much obvious love and you are of course right. Grief is love with nowhere to go :heart:

A week since my wonderful dad passed. We still don’t know cause of death. I miss his hugs and telling me how much he loved me.

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I am so sorry to hear about your dad :disappointed: just take things one day at a time.

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It all feels so heavy today. All I want to do is sleep. My whole world has changed and I don’t know how to be in it. Feel like my depression is creeping up again.

I need my mom so much right now. I wish I could go back to this time last year, when she was still here. Just to hug her one more time.

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Hang in there @Becca_d . It’s so hard without them but parents want us to survive and thrive.

9 days since I lost dad. 10 weeks since mum and my heart hurts for them. It was a privilege as a daughter to support my mum when ill.

I miss the hugs so much as well. Sending you a massive virtual hug :people_hugging: . Rob x

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Sending you all a massive hug. Grief is a terrible path to walk especially when you feel alone, it’s the price we pay for loving someone so much. I lost my mam 7 years ago and it’s a year next week for my dad. I know they would want me to have a good, happy life and go forward but at the moment I can’t, although I try so hard. People say I should be over this by now so I don’t show my feelings to anyone. It helps that I can express my feelings here as I know no one is judging me. Take care xxx

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I hide my feelings at work, but it’s hard being ‘normal’. I am just so tired with it all.

Wish I wasn’t at work, but just got to get on with it. Grief is a horrible path and I never thought I would be grieving my mom at this point in my life :broken_heart::smiling_face_with_tear:

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