Aww it’s horrible isn’t it I still wake up of a morning and think I’m going to see my mum again until it hits me all over again that she’s not here my dad misses her so much me and the kids have stayed there this week I think quietly he’s loved the company I’d move in tomorrow if the house was big enough it’s like living back home but without mum, I’ve started going through her stuff now looking to see what to keep and what to part with we are just over 7 months since we lost mum and it still doesn’t seem real at times but I can talk about her now without having a meltdown we’ve done her garden front and back and it’s looking nice now, I know she’d be happy we done it the way she used to she loved her little garden she made in the front. Life is so cruel you spend your life loving someone and them loving you back and then they are taken away from you and you have to go through so much pain emotionally and mentally x
Sorry you are all having a rough time. I am exhausted with it all. I had my bereavement group session this morning and then a counselling session. I just feel angry, sad, confused. So many emotions.
I literally went through all those emotions when I was having my counselling it’s normal Becca you will then start dealing with them one by one as they start unraveling inside your head my head is a lot clearer now, I’m doing quite well I still have the odd day where I want and need to be by myself and the kids know to leave me to it. I’m able to make plans now with out feeling guilty and although I have the biggest hole in my heart where my mum should be im almost back to being me just a different version but I’m laughing and smiling again and a lot will be happening we have a new baby coming into the family in October something to really look forward too x
Exactly this. 
I know I need to speak with her GP a the hospital to try and understand what happens or didn’t happen. I think when i eventually get my 1:1 bereavement counselling I will be able to piece things together.
Just when you think life can’t pick you in the guts anymore. My daughter didn’t get the job she really wanted. She had 2 interviews for it and then the company decided they weren’t going to run the apprenticeship 
. My daughter has been looking for work for 2 years. I just don’t know what to do anymore, i don’t have the energy for this and i just want someone to believe in her.
Me again. Just finding it all so hard. It’s been 9 months since my mom died. 3/4 of a year. Yet it feels no time at all. I am fighting to get through each day. Just miss her so much, nothing is going right at the moment and I need her. I don’t know how to wake up and get through another day with out her. 
I’m having a bad time of it too. The very thought of tomorrows fills me with dread, because it’s day upon day without him in it. Time passes, but the dread doesn’t ease. Hugs you lots. 
lm confused, i feel dread too the start of each day,
I dont know what to do with my guilt or how to carry on yet there is no choice i am on the antidepressants which seem to have stopped me from feeling that not being here is an option.
Although i am not really here and feel detached all the time when i am not needed i just retreat to my bed.
i have a constant narrative in my head and at the end of the day my head hurts and i just need to hide away.
sorry not sure why im posting . my mum died on the 26th of April I let her down i do not deserve forgiveness i cannot forgive myself. yes it is exhausting.
I read posts and see that grief is like a sledge hammer but I am sure that the people you have lost would want everyone to live life to the full you all seem such good people . I cannot say that about myself.
It’s good that you are posting. Worse to keep all the dark thoughts in your head where they loop. Olive, to me you seem like a good person too, and kind. You wouldn’t feel such guilt if you were a bad person, if so you would just shrug it off. The guilt comes from caring so deeply. 
I know how you feel @Becca_d - its 7 months for me now and i feel like the realisation is only just hitting that I’ve got to carry this the rest of my life. Without wanting to be melodramatic it feels like being given a diagnosis for some medical condition and realising this is going to be an ongoing part of you now. 
Yep I get that @Ally6 . We have all just been at my dad’s doing the garden and I just felt so sad. My mom loved her garden, she had so many plans to make it nice and yes we will make it nice for my dad. But I miss her so much.
yes its part of every waking minute on autopilot.
@olive3 i am so sorry you feel like this. It is still so early for you and I can sense the pain you are going through. We’re here to listen and support. Have you been signposted to any bereavement counselling?
Sending lots of hugs
We understand the pain your going through as we are all on that journey everyone’s grief is completely different I found myself in a position where I I didn’t want to be here I wanted to be with my mum, I lost the will to function, I had to take 4 months off work as I couldn’t cope being with people, I was on that rollercoaster and literally on the edge wanting to jump, my friends on here have helped me through all that from the beginning by talking I eventually got my 1:1 bereavement counselling but those 10 weeks whilst I was waiting were a life saver I would never have got through it without the support on here everyday so keep posting it helps, I had 12 weeks counselling and my counsellor was amazing we unraveled everything in my head, I’m back at work I’ve been on medication for 6 months I’m able to function I rarely have flashbacks anymore I’m sleeping better, I went though most of the firsts, Christmas, mother’s day, my Birthday, Easter, but the worst is to come, mums birthday and her first anniversary but I now have the tools my counsellor gave me and I know I’ll be okay my mum is looking down on us everyday, I’m able to make plans and look forward to the future, but there is no time frame to do that, you just deal with it one day at a time Im gradually seeing me again but a new version and it’s a journey I will be on for the rest of my life until I’m back with my mum my best friend xxx
I just want my mom. I want her here so she will say everything is ok. Everything feels a mess in my head, I can make sense of it all. I am tired.
Hi Becca yes it seems like it would be so good to be able to wake up from this nightmare, my head hurts too and it is so exhausting. But another night and another day and tiny steps forward is the only way, this must pass eventually.
Im sure your mom is by your side and everything will be ok.
Take care.
Does anyone else have moments like these? I am really tired today as I was out at a work do last night. But I am lay on the sofa and for a moment I forgot that my mom was dead and thought I would speak to her. That moment felt so real.
FYI - I only drank water.
Yes. For brief moments I forget, but then it’s worse when I remember.
Yes, the reality hits hard. It’s such a powerful emotion forgetting that it happened and feeling they are still alive.