Oh definitely when your that close to parent it’s heartbreaking my biological father died when I was 16 but he hadn’t really been a part of my life he’d remarried I only seen him occasional every other Saturday but my mum was my best friend she raised me your mum is your mum no one can ever replace her it’s not the same, I have my stepdad though and I know he’s probably not got that many years left as he’s 91 but he’s here now and as well as the kids he’s keeping me going they are the reason I get up of a morning or I wouldn’t be here I don’t think x
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@Becca_d if you send me the link privately I’ll sponsor you. NHS has just sent me a letter to have my smear done so gotta book that tomorrow x
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Thank you that is very kind. Will do
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I’ve just done it x Good Luck x
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— You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once —
You lose them over and over,
sometimes many times a day.
When the loss, momentarily forgotten,
creeps up,
and attacks you from behind.
Fresh waves of grief as the realisation hits home,
they are gone.
Again.
You don’t just lose someone once,
you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,
and as you awaken,
so does your memory,
so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,
they are gone.
Again.
Losing someone is a journey,
not a one-off.
There is no end to the loss,
there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,
when it washes over.
Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea,
they have a journey ahead of them,
and a daily shock to the system each time they realise,
they are gone,
Again.
You don’t just lose someone once,
you lose them every day,
for a lifetime
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Thanks for those words, its the reason I’ve got up this morning heartbroken, feeling hopeless again 
I’m longing for the day I can share some good news on here 
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@Pixiecat aww sorry if I upset you it’s just words mean everything to me at the moment whether it’s songs or poems things pop up on my social media and I thinks that’s exactly how I’m feeling at this very moment in time xx
Please don’t think you’ve upset me, it makes perfect sense and I’ve bookmarked it to read when I feel the need and sent it to family members who don’t actually realise how I’m feeling.
Take care xx
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I think everyone of us on here can resonate to that to every single word
I had what would have been my mums birthday 2 weeks ago now next week the first Mother’s Day without her being here
I’m dreading it already x
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It’s good to hear from you again! I think we’ll feel this way for some time yet and triggers will bring it up to the surface again. 
I know we shouldn’t feel guilty about doing normal things, but like you describe it seems so wrong. I still can’t do anything I used to do with dad or go anywhere we used to go. It was brave of you to try and you did it, even if it hurt.
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I feel the same but I’m going to buy my mam a card and flowers for the rest of my life, I miss her so much 
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Hi ulma yea and you . Hope you’ve been doing a well as possible .
I know literally everything I do and I’m sure is the same for most I feel guilty for because they now can’t
I know we can’t spend the rest of our lives feeling this way and I know deep down my mum will want to be happy and live a happy life enjoying it
It’s just not going to be possible for some time yet x
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Awww I feel your pain I really do
I too will buying a card and flowers and will happily them on display for her
I am sure all our mums and dads are looking down immensely proud of how we are coping and loving as much as ever x
Yeah I’m dreading it also as we spent every mother’s day together from the day I was born, I was actually born on mother’s day in 1972 which used to make it extra special for us but I can’t even begin to think about it this year and I know I’m a mum also but me and the kids would spend the day with mum so that’ll be the first without her then I have my birthday 2 days later and we would normally go for lunch so not looking forward to that either xx
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I think I am blocking out the fact Mother’s Day is next week. I am going for a walk with my brother in the morning on that day.
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I have been going on a lot of walks myself with my nephew lately , we even went to a monastery near where he lives it was a beautiful place and I went in and had a speak with mum in there in my own way , it really was a beautiful place though
Walking is good I’ve found during these hard times even more so in wildlife filled places Lisa x
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HI @Lisa_L51
I have 3 daughters who I love so much and I’m spending mother’s day with them, not going out as I can’t face seeing families with mother’s.
I’m dreading it because I don’t want to disappoint them by breaking down every 2 minutes, we always spent mother’s day with mam so it will never feel like it should. It’s such a mess
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Someone said to me this I remember that I am a mom. I have 2 children, we have never made a big thing about Mother’s Day. But I would always see my mom and make a fuss of her. I have ordered a photo block with our favourite picture of my mom, one for me, my brother and my dad.
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Hi becca that’s a lovely idea with the photo block . I have a photo of both my parents on the side in the back room and i regularly speak to them although it does fill my eyes every time
Mothers days was always a big thing for us also
and a chance to thank mum for all she does
It
It’s going to be a very hard for everyone but im sure we can do out best to get each other through it x
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Lovely words x