I hope you feel better soon. The thought of going back is probably weighing heavy on you and after such an emotional weekend.
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I’m petrified and I don’t know why xx
It’s a huge thing going back to work after having time off. Once you get the first day done, it will start to feel ok. I had 3 months of a few years ago after my breakdown and my anxiety was through the roof on my first day back.
Just take it one step at a time xx
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I will do thanks got my counselling tomorrow so will probably talk about that xx
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Good plan, she will help you form a plan so that it will go ok.
I am trying to motivate myself to go for a walk to clear my head. I am really not in a good headspace.
I am struggling to make sense of it all. What is the point to getting up everyday? My world is a darker place without my mom. 
I’m sorry your feeling like that, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better I know how it feels to have to force yourself to get up each day I know how it feels to not have the support you expect to receive from close ones xx
I have come out for a walk & sat on a bench in the church yard.
I just keep thinking take me back to the day she died, to the funeral. I was in a protected bubble and felt safe. No I am trying to navigate my way through this life without my mom
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Sorry that it’s so hard. I cried with 2 different friends, today. I really am limiting my social encounters to just the few people who are empathetic and caring enough to support me, of which they are two. Anywho, I had also asked my ex-boyfriend, who lost his dad 9 years ago, how I am supposed to carry on, and his response was simple yet, I found, profound:
We either sink or swim.
Every task I do, now, is a challenge. Everything is a fight. The easy life I had is gone, and I wonder for how long I’ll be fighting. But I know that that is the only way through to any kind of light. To be kind to myself and give myself rest and reflection, but also to carry on. To swim.
I hope that helps. 
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I know that you just have to keep swimming and keep going. I just don’t feel like I can. My head feels like it is in a vice. I hate my life right now.
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Didn’t sleep well. My dad was supposed to have some steroid injections on his knees today, he can hardly walk. They phoned at 8am to say the Dr had phoned in sick and it would now be 9th April. So my day started with my dad in tears on the phone to me.
Cried all the way to work. Then phoned him and he was sobbing 
. I left work and went to see him. We talked, cried and I think he is feeling calmer. I am utterly exhausted, currently sat at home trying to fine the energy to go back to work it’s all too much.
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Oh, bless your dad. I’m glad you were able to support him. Could they not suggest an alternative, eg, a community healthcare centre, or a district nurse, to deliver the injections?
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We might ring up and see if there is anything we can do sooner. I just can’t think right now. I am so emotionally drained. Just got back to work. Feel
Sick.
That’s what it’s all about now navigation it’s a long road ahead and the journey is going to be a tough one but we can do this, it might not seem like it right now but we will find some way of living, they shouldn’t of cancelled his appointment he’s classed as a vulnerable patient they could fit him in with another appointment sooner as it’s not his fault appointment was cancelled he lives by himself and needs to be mobile, I hope he gets sorted xx It’s my birthday today and I’m feeling quite emotional that my mum isn’t here to celebrate with lunch and a cake, opened my cards and burst out sobbing x
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Hiya so sorry your going through all this, I really hope you get something sorted for your dad 
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Happy Birthday Lisa, i can imagine its really hard that first birthday without your Mum, im already thinking ahead to mine and wondering can i just ask people to forget it. But i hope the cards and gifts from others brings you some comfort that people care about you
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Thank you it was mostly money so I’ll buy something nice when I’m ready x
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Something that came up in my facebook feed which hit home after being advised with so many grief clichés recently
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Wonderful true words Thank you for sharing x
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Hugs on your birthday, Lisa. 
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