Thank you @Becca_d I’ve got pretty bad anxiety at the moment and only managed to get one hour’s sleep last night. It’s so weird how I thought I wasn’t feeling too bad and then it was like a switch flicked in my brain overnight and now I feel awful. I’ve suffered with anxiety in the past so thought it would probably reappear when I lost mum xx
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It is so hard when you have already suffers with anxiety. It is perfectly normal to feel like that. This is a major thing. Have you talked to your GP about the anxiety and sleep? They may be able ti help.
Hi and welcome, though I’m sorry you have a reason to be here. My sympathies for your loss. 
I know it doesn’t feel like you will manage the funeral, but we do, somehow. Keep posting here and read the threads on the site, it can be helpful. Are you alone in this or do you have people around you?
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I haven’t been to see my GP yet. I’ve been on antidepressants for 30 years and have been tapering them down to a very low dose over the past few years so I’m reluctant to go down the medication route at the moment.
@Ulma I’ve got a lot of friends around me and a brother and nephews but I don’t have children or a partner. I’ve been my mum’s carer for the last 5 years as well as working so that took up pretty much all my time. I think the extra hard thing is going to be all the spare time I’ll have now. People say to me I’ll be able to live my own life now etc etc but I just find the idea terrifying to be honest.
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Good to hear you have support! It’s rather unsensitive, I think, to say that you’re able to live your life now, especially so soon after. As if that was important at the moment. 
Like you, I don’t have a partner and I lived with my dad so I can relate to the feeling of emptiness when you suddenly have time but don’t know what to do with it (or want to do anything with it). It’s particularly hard when one’s daily routine has been so fundamentally changed too.
It doesn’t help when people say you’ll have all this spare time. It’s time you don’t want to have.
You could just talk to your GP who should be able to sign post you to support.
I have my own flat but I’d been stopping at mums probably 4 or 5 nights a week for the past couple of years and then I had been stopping with her full time since January. The problem is I don’t feel like I want to go back to my flat now so will probably try stopping there maybe once a week to start with. My mum’s house is the family home where she’d lived for 52 years and it was always the safe place to return to if I had problems. That’s how I feel about my mum too. She was always my safety net and now she’s gone I feel so alone.
How long ago did your dad pass away?
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I was given the number for bereavement counselling by the Marie Curie nurse so I’m going to give them a ring and see what they can offer.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I’ve been reading the threads and everyone seems very supportive.
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That’s good, I am sure they will have some support for you. We’re all here for you too.
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Im in a similar situation @Sue-123 - i was caring for Mum full time for the last year, so now shes gone i still find her home is the place i feel most comfortable and i feel closest to her. So i go back to my own house just one night a week at the moment but i need to start increasing that because at some point mums house is going to need to be sold. Im absolutely dreading it! Hugs to you
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I was the same when I lost my mum in October last year even though I have children I saw my mum 7 days a week we did everything together then when she got her last diagnosis I didn’t want to leave her side I had to arrange carers to do her personal care go with her to hospital appointments also go to work 2 days a week look after two kids and do there shopping etc my life revolved around my mum I didn’t sleep incase I was needed each time I had to rush her to A&E it was me who went and stayed with her, when mum passed away I was lost and broken didn’t know what to do with myself as I was helping mum with everything I’ve had to gradually learn to make time for myself to rest etc I keep a close eye on my dad as he is 91 now and don’t now how much longer he’ll be with us so I visit every day to have a coffee with him he doesn’t quite need a lot doing just his shopping and to take him to appointments incase he falls his mobility is not great, but he does his own washing and cooking and showers every day I’ve had to learn to utilise my time differently now.
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Ok, I can understand not wanting to go back to your flat. Take it slow and once a week to begin with sounds like a good plan.
I know, it does feel like losing a safety net and everything seems so frightening alm of a sudden because there’s nowhere to run to if you need it. 
It’s close to 6 months for me now. 
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I’m exactly the same @Ally6. Mum’s house is going to have to be sold and I don’t want to suddenly have to go back to mine. I feel like I need to do it gradually. How have you found the one night a week at yours?
Wow @Lisa_L51, your dad is doing amazingly for 91! My mum was 90 but her mobility had been declining for a few years and she’d got to the stage where she couldn’t really do anything for herself and she absolutely hated it. I know she’d had enough and in some ways that does make it slightly easier for me but it doesn’t make the missing her any easier.
Difficult, but i took some things of mums with me so i dont feel im leaving her behind at her house, waiting for me! Theres some photos in the lounge and a pair of her slippers. I take her dressing gown in case i need something to snuggle, and i always take her coat with me on the passenger seat! Crazy i know but i need to feel like shes travelling with me. Once im there i find my brain almost kicks into its old pattern before mum was ill. So it is quite confusing.
It’s not crazy at all. I slept last night with my mum’s hot water bottle/ hand warmer. I popped back to mine earlier to collect something and I thought it shouldn’t feel weird because I’ve lived in my flat for 20 years so it is my home, but like you said, I feel closer to my mum when I’m at hers. I feel like I’m constantly second guessing everything at the moment and don’t know what the best thing to do is. I think I’m just scared of feeling worse than I do now.
I’ve been trying not to think ahead too much because I think that’s what causes me the most anxiety. The thought that I’ll never see her again is just the most awful feeling. Even typing that has floored me.
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I miss my mom so much. I have a job interview at work for a promotion and I want it so much. I am the only specialist in the schools for the job I do. I am sat crying as I just want to make my mom proud. I have worked so hard to get where I am and with everything that has happened over the last 8 months dealing with my grief but still been doing a good job. I got an outstanding for my work from Ofsted too.
I feel so emotional
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I feel the same way, it’s like a dark chasm that opens up when I think about it. So I try not do, but it’s sometimes difficult to avoid it. For all that we know that losing them will happen at some point, nothing can prepare us for it.
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