My wife and true soul mate passed away with pancreatic cancer just over 5 weeks ago. I’m 73 and now living on my own for the first time in my life. We were married 50yrs. My kids are so supportive but have their own lives to lead. And my two closest neighbours have been wonderful. I’ve been noticing a difference in the way I get upset. The grief hits me like a punch in the chest and my whole body shakes with sadness and floods of tears.It strikes when I least expect it and I have to go along with the flow. Letting it all out. I’ve discovered other times I get sentimental and quite naturally so. Like suddenly realising in the super market my beloved isn’t with me and I feel the tears start to form but hold them back. Deep breaths and finding a distraction. These sentimental feelings are more frequent than the grief attacks and so I’ve named them self pity bouts. That’s not to belittle my feelings or anybody elses. But by and large I do find them controlable unlike the grief attacks.My Anne was a great believer in the old Saying ’ Pick yourself up. Dust yourself down.And start all over again.’ And I honour her memory by trying my best to abide by her strength and wisdom. So I am coping. And yes its bloody hard. Yet I think I’m going to pull through this. I’ll of course never be the same man again and my sweet heart will always be in my heart. But my life will grow around her memory and my undying love for her. I’ve had a visitation from Anne. ( I can enlarge if anyones unterested.) So I know she is in the other dimension where love abounds and away from this existance of so much pain and suffering.
Bless you all. Geoff.