I did not know that grief felt like this , I so want to see my husband and for all this to go away , the tears will not stop I ache inside it hurts so much, please let this stop.
My mind is in such torment, please tell me this will ease.
I have tried to keep so busy today but he is everywhere except where he should be. I love and miss him every minute of everyday.
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@Rubyroo12, I can hear the pain you are in and I am sorry for the loss of your husband. I am just giving your thread a bump so you can get the support you need.
Please do remember too that you can talk to the Samaritans anytime 116 123, if you think just having someone to listen at the other end could help you right now.
Be gentle with yourself 
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Thank you.
I totally understand how you feel as im feeling exactly the same. I lost my beloved husband on 23rd November 2024 to cancer
My wife died in January. I know how you feel and only those who have lived through this can possibly understand. The loss is unbearable and all I can say is live hour by hour, day by day and donāt look too far ahead. The rawness of it all will ease in time and at some point you will move from crying at the memories to smiling at them. While Iām in the early stages of grieving for my wife I do know this from losing a child.
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My wife died on Christmas Eve and Iām struggling with it. Today i feel numb and desolate, but tears can occur at any time.
Iām sat in a cafe in Lytham, waiting to go to a bereavement group meeting. Iāve had counselling sessions with Cruse too.
This site helps put it in to context.
Iām still a long, long way from āgetting over itā, and i never will. For Hazel and our familyās sake i have to find a way to carry on as she wants me to do.
Take care of yourself 
Thank you for your response, I think I am stuck in this continuous torment going round and round. Going over and over the same events leading up to loosing Alan. I donāt want a future without him but I must for the sake of my son.
Take care.
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Thank you for your message and sorry you have lost your wife and child.
I will try and do as you say, hour by hour and day by day.
And thatās a good reason to. Thatās my reason too; 6 children and 12 grandchildren who would be upset.
Thereās always peole to talk to. Smaritans are always available.
Take care of yourself
Look after yourself. Weād been married 42 years so I do understand how you are feeling. I know that if I start thinking too far ahead It sends me into despair. Thatās why I believe hour by hour and day by day is the only way.
Iāve found a local group of bereaved people who meet up for coffees and lunches. I do intend to go to these although I havenāt done so yet. I think Iāll prefer this to counselling. Itās a lonely existence. Have you got support? Do things only when youāre ready to, not when you think you should. The despair and emptiness will eventually subside to an extent which will enable you to move forward but just take as long as you need. Small steps. You will never forget but the pain you are feeling now will dull over time. There are lots of people on here who want to help.
Thank you so much for the kindness in your words.
I have a wonderful son who comes to see me when he can due to work shifts, he messages or rings in between, I know he is grieving in his way too so I try to be ok but he can see through me and I have a mum who is 91, I donāt think she quite understands. I have two dogs which I walk on the beach but I still see my hubby there- I even shouted his name the other day then once again the floods start. I will do as you advise and see how I go.
Thank you once again, take care .
Oh this is so hard and painful isnāt it.We all have different family dynamics and different stories of loss but the result is the same.
Us all feeling petrified of the future without them, not able to imagine ourselves āhealingā but in limbo,in no mans land of despair but look around and youāll see all of us on this forum feeling those feelings so were not alone,or going crazy.
We have each other & thats powerful.
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Thank you Jane, itās just so hard but you described the place we are in very well.
Take care.
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My partners 1 year anniversary was on 26th Feb (Darren died in a freak car accident), I still canāt/donāt believe that he has gone and that I wont ever see him again. I still cry daily, everyone tells me to keep busy, I am back at work I went back after his funeral. I just feel so lost.
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Hi, Iām so sorry to hear that,
Itās very very hard and I donāt expect to get over this for a long time- if ever, so
please donāt worry that you are alone in your feelings.
My husband was half of me and I miss him every hour of every day.
I was that desperate I unfortunately went down the medication route, some of the side effects are still happening but it does help a little.
Write again if you feel like it as itās good to support each other in this nightmare,
Lynn.
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I also went down the medication way, the only thing they do is make me sleep, the problem is waking up the next day and do it over again, it feels like groundhog day, living it day in day out.
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Me too with the medication but I reduced the dose because I felt even more numb with it. I also had some counselling.
I lost my husband 15 months ago and I am so lost without him. Sometimes I donāt know how I get up of a morning.
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Its been 15 weeks since I lost my beloved husband, every morning I wake saying here we go again another long lonely day without him, and go to bed wishing I could join him.
I miss him so much.
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11 and a half weeks since i lost my beautiful Hazel on Christmas Eve. My family (6 grownup kids) are looking after me (two of my daughters are taking me to Dublin for the day on Saturday).
But itās first thing in the morning (i do the 'here we effin go again) and the evenings that are the worst. I hate going to bed and waking up in the mornings to being lonely.
38 years together, plus the years before we got togetherā¦
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@Phil668
Totally agree with all you wrote.
I too am waking early hours, sometimes before the dawn and the thought of him not being here is so painful.
Take care.
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